Orifice and Appendage Rental

[Ike Stain]

A Possible Safe (and Legal) Alternative to Prostitution?

As everyone know, prostitution has long been a complicated and difficult issue for decades and still remains illegal in most of the "civilized" world, against all standards of free market ideals supposedly embraced by the power elites.

With social advancement crawling in this regard, I propose to institutionalize a system of legal rental of the organs and appendages of free individuals.

Thus, if one were caught in, say, a sting on a handjob joint, one could honestly claim not to have been involved in illicit acts, but merely to have been "renting the tightly closed fist of Thai masseuse to masturbate" oneself.

Or, when rousted in a back alley, (and who hasn't been!) one could rightly claim to have been lawfully "leasing the rectal cavity of this fine individual for the purposes of ejaculating semen, a necessary and healthy biological function."

Since the staunchest social conservatives define sex as solely for the purposes of procreation, the activity could not even be termed sex, which would lower the risk of transmission and contraction of STDs.

What do you think? Would you support this modest proposal?

 

[mrtrebus]

No, not even if the idea was put to me in an unnecessarily large font. . .

 

[grower_boy]

I think this is a clever way to hit conservatives in the go-nads with a fly-swatter.

 

[Rane1071]

It'd be funny to see this argument used in court.

 

[Shifty]

Here, here.

Ike, I would be the first in line to rent your ass.

 

[LukeEl]

Now do you offer some form of layaway program?

 

[PirateKing]

But do they have a license to rent?

 

[Boothbabe]

Why do you continue to use large fonts? It's not like we're blind you know.

 

[Ike Stain]

Now do you offer some form of layaway program?

Layaway would be nice. You could give the corner whore a dollar a day until you can afford to lease her nethers!

 

[Neutron66]

I came up with a better loophole around the prostitution legalities years ago.

Prostitution is illegal, porn is legal. So why not start a business where you hire a bunch of girls and have guys come over and pay money to have sex with them on camera? Afterwards, you give the guy the tape and off he goes.

A million dollar idea, I tell ya'!!!

 

[Ike Stain]

I came up with a better loophole around the prostitution legalities years ago.

Prostitution is illegal, porn is legal. So why not start a business where you hire a bunch of girls and have guys come over and pay money to have sex with them on camera? Afterwards, you give the guy the tape and off he goes.

A million dollar idea, I tell ya'!!!

I like your angle.

 

[Rane1071]

Why do you continue to use large fonts? It's not like we're blind you know.

It's because he's .. Stain. Ike Stain. The Man With The Swanky Penis. :bowdown:

 

[Danglyparts]

so it's like calling a red roundish fruit an apple instead of a red roundish fruit?
or your toyota an automobile instead of a camry?
it's the same thing, i feel they'd just pass laws against it also, otherwise i'd be down

 

[Ike Stain]

so it's like calling a red roundish fruit an apple instead of a red roundish fruit?
or your toyota an automobile instead of a camry?
it's the same thing, i feel they'd just pass laws against it also, otherwise i'd be down

Don't bother me with semantics— I needs to git some!

 

[Danglyparts]

Don't bother me with semantics— I needs to git some!

unfortunatly laws, which is what you're talking about, is nothing but semantics.

 

[Juliuscaesar]

Well you can get a pig to grow human organs..

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/...w-human-organs-in-stem-cell-breakthrough.html