Jason.
I tried. I tried my best. In my heart I believed that with effort and coaching you had most of the makings of a 'D' student at the middle school level. And I work in special education, so I know about these things. I was wrong. You have packed your inability to read a simple question and your endless need to cough up terms of which you don't understand the definition, into that bagfull of concrete convictions and sallied forth to that place far away on the other side of irony . Where those who agree with you are always right and those who disagree are always wrong or left.
It is a comforting place, although awash with much anger these days. At least there are no tiresome books there with endless droning sentences and needless paragraphs. Neither are there pointy headed geek types with their endless insistence on coherence and logic. No sir, if you can't shout your viewpoint then you shouldn't think it.
One day you may tire of this life and want to pick up a book and thus begin to discover what the fuss has been all about this last five hundred or so years. If so, can I humbly suggest that you forego the classics: Hannity, Beck and Limbaugh. For you there can be only one choice: Alexandra Pipe.