Naomi Wolf on Why Porn Turns Men Of The Real Thing

[LaLiLuLeLohan]

yeah but its a two way street. I hardly hear of these guys with fugly fat wives actually being hot themselves, or being romantic and making an effort in the relationship too. My older brother is a good example. His wife had two babies, gained weight (obviously, that happens) and then he started bitching about her being fat...when he had gained 40lbs worth of beer gut in the time they'd been married! lol ..Not that I'd know because I don't have kids (and I'm not fat, and don't have a Rosie Odonnell haircut lol) but I'd imagine after carrying around a few kids, squeezing them out and then having to deal with barfy, shitty, screaming babies all day long...having the time to have a shower/lose weight/have sex would just be damn hard to do. And once you get into the routine, its hard to stop. But getting a woman back into hot, sexual shape is also part of hubbies responsibility. After all, he didn't have to go through all of the shit she did to bring a child into their lives, and alot of women feeling good about themselves relies on how hubby treats them and makes them feel. Having regular date nites, taking your woman shopping for post-baby clothing, giving her some time to relax and have "me" time, are ALL things that can be done to help her feel sexy, which in turn, makes her want to LOOK sexy. I too, have alot of friends who've had babies, and they too complain that once they got married and pregnant, romance went out of their husbands vocabulary, and it turns them off bigtime. So I believe that if theres problems in the sexual area, its both partners responsibility to work on things to get them better.

Again, I don't have kids, nor do I plan on having children...but if I had just squeezed out a mans child, I'd NEED him to make me feel sexy because trust me, I've seen childbirth, and seen what it does to women and yes, they need all the help they can get. lol

I agree with every single thing that you just said and I wasn't trying to "blame" or insult any women who do tend to be more more comfortable in that state, I'm just saying that it is a huge part of the causation of why the sexual spark fades in marriages. Not pornography or desensitization. I can't imagine what it's like to get pregnant, give birth and then be responsible that child's every waking need...so I wasn't shitting on the reality of it.

I'm not married, but I've been in a relationship for 8 years (no kids!!). I like to think that I make sure that my girl always knows how beautiful and attractive she is to me. I also imagine it's one of the reasons she works out and takes care of her body...and vice versa. It's certainly inspiring to hear her compliment me and, if she never did, maybe hitting the gym after a long day of work would be less and less a priority...and that, like you said, is a two way street. I get that. But I also think that there are many who find motherhood..or parenthood, for that matter, to be a marking point where shopping for "comfortable and relaxed" pants on QVC becomes the status quo no matter what.

 

[Ace Bandage]

Her name is Naomi.... that's "I moan" backwards.

 

[Supafly]

I wonder if all those poor hubbies are doing a part of the houseworks, like washing the dishes, doing the laundry etc. Many guys I know rely on their wifes for taking the job earlier their mothers had to do. So convenient.

Do they actuylly expect their personal homeslaves do stay romantically inclined to them? Get active in your home and you will be astonished how good your sex-life can be.

 

[Bearded_Menace]

These problems can all be avoided by not getting married.

 

[wigster]

Either way i couldn't give a shit what some stuck up little bint thinks

 

[busenbust]

Wolf is fucking hot ! sorry Naomi !


but i do prefer Klein :drool1:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a7/NaomiKlein.jpg

 

[titsrock]

How many people have actually read the entire piece? Naomi Wolf is an exceptional writer.

I think this is the material point:

The young women who talk to me on campuses about the effect of pornography on their intimate lives speak of feeling that they can never measure up, that they can never ask for what they want; and that if they do not offer what porn offers, they cannot expect to hold a guy. The young men talk about what it is like to grow up learning about sex from porn, and how it is not helpful to them in trying to figure out how to be with a real woman. Mostly, when I ask about loneliness, a deep, sad silence descends on audiences of young men and young women alike. They know they are lonely together, even when conjoined, and that this imagery is a big part of that loneliness. What they don’t know is how to get out, how to find each other again erotically, face-to-face.

So Dworkin was right that pornography is compulsive, but she was wrong in thinking it would make men more rapacious. A whole generation of men are less able to connect erotically to women—and ultimately less libidinous.

And here we are on a porn board posting things and comments about women we admire from a far. Or making friends among us from afar. Always with loneliness in the air.

If men are losing libidos and blaming wives because "they're fat" now after kids, why do so many people complain about thin models, small breasts, etc. and praise larger women here? :dunno: Shouldn't the site of larger pornstars and big asses signal a remembrance of our wives/girlfriends?

We all agree we see less pussy eating and less attention to pleasing the women in porn these days. Or, women have realized the only way they're getting to experience an orgasm on camera is if they bring toys into the scene. The guy ain't gonna do it for them. And there is the problem. We're getting to eat our cake with porn without having to do any work. If husbands and wives blame kids on the lack of sexual desire, and then they farm out the raising of their kids to nannies or public schools, how much more lonely will their children actually be when they grow up?

I think the final paragraph in Wolf's piece is interesting. It might be a shock for our fat-eating American minds to ever accept the concept of a strict, strange orthodox religion embracing sensuality as Wolf's friend at the end.

 

[Nick_FM]

Women have no idea how men think...

and men have no idea how women think.

And that's what makes life so fun.

 

[Hot Mega]

Women have no idea how men think...

and men have no idea how women think.

And that's what makes life so fun.

People of any stripe are not 100 pct. predictable but I don't think it's a wise assertion to say men and women have 'no idea' how each other think.

There are many many many things that wouldn't be possible if that were the case.:2 cents:

I tend to agree that life would be somewhat boring if people were all predictable. I don't know if I would characterize it as all 'fun' though...but it does makes life more interesting.

 

[busaguy79]

Ok, will still enjoy my porn and fuck my gf

 

[feller469]

I want her to read "The End of America" while sitting on my face. I have had a thing for her for about 20 years

 

[jibbijib]

It's kinda hard to be sexually forward when every girl you meet wants to put you in the friend zone as soon as possible.

 

[vodkazvictim]

And here we are on a porn board posting things and comments about women we admire from a far. Or making friends among us from afar. Always with loneliness in the air.

It can be hard to find people with similar interests locally, the great strength of the internet is the ability to find like minded people. Even then it's not easy.
I talk about political scandals at work, with friends and result? No apparent interest.
I talk about corruption in the military. Yet nobody I know cares that their taxes get wasted like this.
But on das interwebz I can find those who share my interests.

Women have no idea how men think...

and men have no idea how women think.

And that's what makes life so fun.

Women can read 70% of their man's mind once they get to know them.
If they could read 100% then the species would simply stop reproducing.