Love

[D-rock]

I think love, true love, (and non-true love isn't really love at all, it's just infatuation or worse warped sense of possessiveness) when one truly loves another is the strongest and most important force in the universe for everything that matters the most and in the end for the things that matter at all.

 

[gunslingingbird]

Sorry, man.

I'm still muddling through some heartache myself. I'm in the tail end of it, I hope. Not the first time, probably won't be the last. It's terrible, it really is. You ache, and you feel sick to your stomach, there's anger (not even necessarily toward anyone, just the situation and the perceived injustice of it), there confusion, and frustration, and frustration, and frustration. And it just all seems so wrong. And you start wondering what could have been, and what you could have done differently, and how much better everything could have been, and it makes it worse. The doubt, the uncertainty, the confusion. And it just feels like you're spiraling, like you're falling. And life just inches forward the whole time, and eventually it starts to hurt less. But damned if it doesn't seem to take forever. And what's sick is that at just about any point on your way to getting things together it just takes one slip, one misstep, one backtrack and it swallows you whole again. Like it doesn't really go away, just gets buried and it can be so easily dug back up. And it seems like the pain is the worst thing you can imagine, but the alternative is just empty. And that's worse. Better to risk heartache and fail, then to consign yourself to that. So you get knocked down, you get broken, you get scarred, but you have to move on, even if you need to do it by crawling your sorry ass further down that road. You've gotta keep going and try again, because it's important.

Your post seems like an exteriorization of my thoughts and feelings. I've known for quite a while that not only were my feelings not reciprocated, but that even though she means the world to me and I have bent over backwards and have done many, many things that were very damaging to myself to try to ensure her safety and happiness, she only sees me as a friend in times of need, and wouldn't care if her actions hurt me. I have given her everything I could, and much, much more. You might even say that I gave her a piece of my soul, and she thinks so little of me that she can't spare 10 seconds of her day to text happy birthday to me when I specifically hinted, rather expressly, that my birthday was the following Saturday, and even mentioned the day before that I would be working 2 shifts on my birthday the next day. There have been several instances where I have proven to her that I care more about her than her own mother. Still, to her I'm nothing. I won't go into any further details, but everyone to whom I've spoken about her has told me that she didn't deserve me, and that I need to erase her from my life. Therein lies the problem. Like you said, it's not something that can be cured, but rather just placed aside, and any little thing erases any progress I might have made to phase her out of my life. Even though she has clearly told me that there will never be anything between us, and even though the rational part of me understands and assimilates that, the emotional part of me refuses to accept that, and is always looking for the faintest glimmer of hope in. pitch darkness. Like you said, I would rather have the cruel reality of her rejection than to face the reality that I'm alone, and nothing I can do will ever change that. The definition of insanity is to do something over and over again and expect different results. By that standard, maybe I should be locked in an institution. Then at least she would be out of my life.

 

[288gto]

Don't mind him. He's a fucking post count spam troll who only contributes (if you can call it contributing) stupid smilies and pointless two- or three-word answers that don't make any sense. At any rate, he won't be posting on this thread again.

that's rude and obviously makes you an idiot, does it? i might not post because i'm not 24/7 on computer, but not that i wont post. this thread i made has a cool topic and people are posting in here and everyone telling their opinion, ain't threads about hearing opinions? i'm politely asking you stop fucking being rude. i'm enjoying all the stuff here and don't wanna get banned, so chill. happyjoy including too about this. i told my opinion about love so wanna hear others opinions. that's all. if you're mad about the t-shirt thread i wont post there anymore, go ahead, hope you'll win a free t-shirt be happy.

 

[bobjustbob]

I'm going through separation now after 20 years of marriage.
Sometimes love fades and some relationships just have an expiration date.
It's not very fulfilling feeling being without love especially when you become accustomed to having it.
I hope to find love again.. right now I just want sex!

You are not in a unique situation. You have had someone by your side for some time and now you are alone. Being alone is not bad. You get to test yourself for what you are looking for. This will translate into your next relationships. What did I want then and what do I want now. Use this time for yourself. Do some self reflecting. Cook your own dinners. Do your own laundry. Get a grip on your own personal self that would be an asset to a partner. Become a person that someone deserves as you are. Take that time and not rush into something that you think may fulfill your life. I've been there and still here now. Being alone is pretty fucking awesome. I like where my head is at.

 

[Rex Hermaykup]

Thanks for the words of encouragement Bob!

 

[Mr. Daystar]

You are not in a unique situation. You have had someone by your side for some time and now you are alone. Being alone is not bad. You get to test yourself for what you are looking for. This will translate into your next relationships. What did I want then and what do I want now. Use this time for yourself. Do some self reflecting. Cook your own dinners. Do your own laundry. Get a grip on your own personal self that would be an asset to a partner. Become a person that someone deserves as you are. Take that time and not rush into something that you think may fulfill your life. I've been there and still here now. Being alone is pretty fucking awesome. I like where my head is at.

Years ago when I was going through a breakup with my first love, a good friend told me, you're better off to be alone, then miserable, and neither one of you seem happy....maybe you're just afraid of being alone. After a while, I realized that was the case...now I know I can't compare a 2 year relationship, with a 20 year marriage, and I certainly understand the difference, but maybe if you look deep inside, you'll realize there's still time for both of you to be happy, with the time you have left in your lives. A good friend of my families...the older generation, went through a divorce after 50 years of marriage. He fell in love with a girl as young as his youngest daughter...less then half his age, and left 6 kids and a wife for her.

 

[gunslingingbird]

that's rude and obviously makes you an idiot, does it? i might not post because i'm not 24/7 on computer, but not that i wont post. this thread i made has a cool topic and people are posting in here and everyone telling their opinion, ain't threads about hearing opinions? i'm politely asking you stop fucking being rude. i'm enjoying all the stuff here and don't wanna get banned, so chill. happyjoy including too about this. i told my opinion about love so wanna hear others opinions. that's all. if you're mad about the t-shirt thread i wont post there anymore, go ahead, hope you'll win a free t-shirt be happy.

I wasn't talking about you; I was talking about luis1972. Look up his posting history and you'll see what I mean. What frustrates me about you is that you tend to make several consecutive posts, and many times you don't see what's going on in the thread to see if what you're saying is relevant to the rest of the thread. If I called you out before, I apologize.

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

Your post seems like an exteriorization of my thoughts and feelings. I've known for quite a while that not only were my feelings not reciprocated, but that even though she means the world to me and I have bent over backwards and have done many, many things that were very damaging to myself to try to ensure her safety and happiness, she only sees me as a friend in times of need, and wouldn't care if her actions hurt me.

You're on the hook. I've been there before, and for far too long. Being friends there doesn't work, and sadly even if you get what you want you're probably going to find out it isn't all you thought it would be.

 

[288gto]

I wasn't talking about you; I was talking about luis1972. Look up his posting history and you'll see what I mean. What frustrates me about you is that you tend to make several consecutive posts, and many times you don't see what's going on in the thread to see if what you're saying is relevant to the rest of the thread. If I called you out before, I apologize.

apology accepted and apologised back. lol sorry for misunderstanding.

 

[Deepcover]

Imo don't really believe in love. We live in a money oriented? Corrupt society so the word love is pretty irrrelvant. You could say you love that person and want to be them for the rest of your life only to be heartbroken or depressed or some waste of time shit. It just doesn't make sense to me. A girl once said she loved me. I got really mad and told her "Don't say that!" lol

 

[Harley Spencer]

Who knew that men were just as cutesy and romantic as women are? Awwwwwww. This is why I like Happy and Bird

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

Who knew that men were just as cutesy and romantic as women are? Awwwwwww. This is why I like Happy and Bird

I have no problem admitting I'm a diehard romantic. A lot of guys are. Love is powerful, so it's almost impossible to not be moved by it unless you've maybe you've found it. It's just tough to express sometimes, for me in part because of my condition, but for most guys because society tells us we shouldn't. We aren't supposed to feel things deeply because being manly means being stoic. And that sucks. It's also not healthy.

 

[vodkazvictim]

Love is all you need.

But what's love got to do with it?

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

Love is all you need.

But what's love got to do with it?

Tina Turner? Interesting choice...

Oh, and... *sigh*...

I have no problem admitting I'm a diehard romantic. A lot of guys are. Love is powerful, so it's almost impossible to not be moved by it unless you've maybe never found it. It's just tough to express sometimes, for me in part because of my condition, but for most guys because society tells us we shouldn't. We aren't supposed to feel things deeply because being manly means being stoic. And that sucks. It's also not healthy.

fix'd

ugh, just noticed that. I really, really, really hate the time limit on editing posts.

 

[John_8581]

Love is all around

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

Love is all around

All around...? I though it's locations was pretty specific since I'd heard it was a place...

 

[alkidder]

I have no problem admitting I'm a diehard romantic. A lot of guys are. Love is powerful, so it's almost impossible to not be moved by it unless you've maybe you've found it. It's just tough to express sometimes, for me in part because of my condition, but for most guys because society tells us we shouldn't. We aren't supposed to feel things deeply because being manly means being stoic. And that sucks. It's also not healthy.

I concur completely.

I can safely say I fall under the category of hopeless and romantic. Probably a little more of the former compared to the latter. Although previous experiences have shown I can put on the romantic charm even if it involves a lot of bumbling and stumbling before hand.

Speaking from personal experience, I can count the number of times on both hands where I wish I built up the courage to express myself and my feelings to that special lady at the time. Granted for the longest time and it is still somewhat prevalent today, I feared rejection and usually worked myself up so much to the point that I more or less just rejected myself from the situation. Confidence is a big thing and lord knows I was searching for it back then. Today too, except I believe I've mellowed out a little in my old age so the whole confidence thing is more sporadic than anything else but it is there.

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

Speaking from personal experience, I can count the number of times on both hands where I wish I built up the courage to express myself and my feelings to that special lady at the time. Granted for the longest time and it is still somewhat prevalent today, I feared rejection and usually worked myself up so much to the point that I more or less just rejected myself from the situation. Confidence is a big thing and lord knows I was searching for it back then. Today too, except I believe I've mellowed out a little in my old age so the whole confidence thing is more sporadic than anything else but it is there.

Well, when it's a woman you really like, and you know her and think there's a chance it might be something real, that's... always gonna be hard. It just seems like there's so much to chance, and if you blow it right off the hop, well, there's a question of what exactly you've lost because it's still all open to possibility. And that's the thing isn't it, you never really know what you lost or how great it could have been. And of course your imagination, being the devious lil' fella he is, is of course going to conjure up the best of everything and because nothing ever happened you don't really have any way of knowing that was never going to be the case.

It's always the stuff you don't know or understand that cuts the worst. Definite answers, finality are always much easier to deal with.

Like when you something terrible happens in a relationship, and it ends, that hurts. Sure. But that's understandable. It's easy to wrap your mind around it. You can say, "Yes, this happened and I have to deal and move on." What's always worse if when a relationship ends and you're given no reason, or something that just doesn't seem to make much sense. Because then you get to be tormented by all of the whys.

 

[VeronicaVice]

...is the latest word to have its' meaning diluted from overuse.

Actually it has been a while... the dilution started ages ago

 

[bobjustbob]

Who knew that men were just as cutesy and romantic as women are? Awwwwwww. This is why I like Happy and Bird

Happy and Bird are both miserable pricks. I, on the other hand, are as charming a man as you will ever find. (Guys, back me up here. I'm charming, right?)