There is no God for Christ Sakes!
When I die, my owners are just going to throw me in a hole, then fill it back up and plant daises over the top of me.
Luckily, I don't have any gold teeth, so I should remain undisturbed.
When I get to St. Peter, he says "Animals on the right, and humans on the left."
I get into the "human" line and a "storm trooper" kicks me, then says "you are a fucking dog! get over with the other animals!"
I reply to him "I am a human and only play a dog in real life."
The storm trooper scratches his head than says "When you are a dog and play a human in real life, then come back, otherwise get in the other line."