I just used a penis pump..

[Sicario]

and my penis swelled up really big and has a lump on the bottom of it, which is probably full of blood

how long should it take my penis to go back to its normal size?

I'm perplexed.

Do you take it off the pump when you engage in sex? Otherwise what's the point of pumping up your cock?












:anonymous

 

[STDiva]

Whenever you're feeling down, or think your life sucks....read this thread.

 

[StanScratch]

In order to reduce the swelling, you are going to need a counteraction. A firecracker works perfect, especially if inserted into your pee hole.
However, just having it at the tip of your pee hole will do nothing. It must be in there deeper. Take a chisel and a 16-pound sledge to make sure it is in there, and good. Remember - don't light the firecracker before hammering it in. Let us now be stupid.
Ah, but how are we going to light it, shoved all the way down there (if you did it right, the firecracker should be buried in there so deep, you will not be able to see it). This is where your blow torch comes into play.
Now, in order to see deep down in your pee hole while your are going after the firecracker with your blow torch, we are going to need a light source. Unless you were born with four hands (if so, skip this step), you will need a light source that can work on its own.
In order to do that, simply pour a gallon of gas all over your genitals. Light it with the blow torch, and you should be well on your way.

 

[LukeEl]

Quick unplug the nozzle and all the air will go out.

 

[windowsxp02]

In order to reduce the swelling, you are going to need a counteraction. A firecracker works perfect, especially if inserted into your pee hole.
However, just having it at the tip of your pee hole will do nothing. It must be in there deeper. Take a chisel and a 16-pound sledge to make sure it is in there, and good. Remember - don't light the firecracker before hammering it in. Let us now be stupid.
Ah, but how are we going to light it, shoved all the way down there (if you did it right, the firecracker should be buried in there so deep, you will not be able to see it). This is where your blow torch comes into play.
Now, in order to see deep down in your pee hole while your are going after the firecracker with your blow torch, we are going to need a light source. Unless you were born with four hands (if so, skip this step), you will need a light source that can work on its own.
In order to do that, simply pour a gallon of gas all over your genitals. Light it with the blow torch, and you should be well on your way.

Man this post deserves a place in joke thread.

Funny stuff.

 

[PirateKing]

In order to reduce the swelling, you are going to need a counteraction. A firecracker works perfect, especially if inserted into your pee hole.
However, just having it at the tip of your pee hole will do nothing. It must be in there deeper. Take a chisel and a 16-pound sledge to make sure it is in there, and good. Remember - don't light the firecracker before hammering it in. Let us now be stupid.
Ah, but how are we going to light it, shoved all the way down there (if you did it right, the firecracker should be buried in there so deep, you will not be able to see it). This is where your blow torch comes into play.
Now, in order to see deep down in your pee hole while your are going after the firecracker with your blow torch, we are going to need a light source. Unless you were born with four hands (if so, skip this step), you will need a light source that can work on its own.
In order to do that, simply pour a gallon of gas all over your genitals. Light it with the blow torch, and you should be well on your way.

Dammit Stan, the situation has become too critical for half-measures!

I'm sorry to say this brod, but amputation seems to be the only course of action.

 

[Shifty]

and my penis swelled up really big and has a lump on the bottom of it, which is probably full of blood

how long should it take my penis to go back to its normal size?

No pain no gain brutha! :thumbsup:

 

[StanScratch]

Dammit Stan, the situation has become too critical for half-measures!

I'm sorry to say this brod, but amputation seems to be the only course of action.

Pfft. Amputation is for pussies. Besides, once that fire cracker goes off, the concept of amputation will take care of itself.

 

[Ulysses31]

Considering brodkill hasn't posted since the 1st post his penis could've exploded and he could now be lying in a hospital bed all fucked up drifting in and out of consciousness while you all write your sick comments

 

[Peter Gazinya]

whenever you're feeling down and lonely, and suspect that reading a bullshit thread will lift your spirits....well then, here ya go.

 

[Shifty]

Considering brodkill hasn't posted since the 1st post his penis could've exploded and he could now be lying in a hospital bed all fucked up drifting in and out of consciousness while you all write your sick comments

Lying in a hospital bed all fucked up drifting in and out of consciousness while a team of nurses massages his unit back to health?

The poor bastard!

 

[Ulysses31]

Lying in a hospital bed all fucked up drifting in and out of consciousness while a team of nurses massages his unit back to health?

The poor bastard!

Let's just say his penis isn't in the same ward as him :weeping:

 

[belgianass]

Do they pay people to write threads like this ??? :dunno:

It's like OMG we still don't have a thread about penis pumps ... oohh ooohh I'll create a fake account and we'll see how it evolves ...

There is only one way to fuck and that is to go out (away from computers), yes, out in the real life ... meet and talk to the other gender (or the same) ... go for it, if it doesn't succeed, try again ... If it does, repeat ...

 

[D-rock]

(I'm glad we have that smiley for situations such as this.)

...but seriously I hope everything goes back to being well for you. That's not a good place for things to go wrong.

 

[vodkazvictim]

any picture to show us ??

Unless you're female, this is for you;

If you're female, my phone number si for you. Call me

Do they pay people to write threads like this ??? :dunno:

It's like OMG we still don't have a thread about penis pumps ... oohh ooohh I'll create a fake account and we'll see how it evolves ...

There is only one way to fuck and that is to go out (away from computers), yes, out in the real life ... meet and talk to the other gender (or the same) ... go for it, if it doesn't succeed, try again ... If it does, repeat ...

Questions:
1: What's away from computers? (real life?)
2: What's other genders?
3: What's success? I've never known it, only the opposite...

 

[belgianass]

Questions:
1: What's away from computers? (real life?)
2: What's other genders?
3: What's success? I've never known it, only the opposite...

gender is either male or female ...

:eek: :rofl2::rofl2:

 

[vodkazvictim]

gender is either male or female ...

:eek: :rofl2::rofl2:

So what's female?

 

[StanScratch]

So what's female?

Pretty sure they're the ones that followed my advice and got their dicks blown off.

 

[alexpnz]

In order to reduce the swelling, you are going to need a counteraction. A firecracker works perfect, especially if inserted into your pee hole.
However, just having it at the tip of your pee hole will do nothing. It must be in there deeper. Take a chisel and a 16-pound sledge to make sure it is in there, and good. Remember - don't light the firecracker before hammering it in. Let us now be stupid.
Ah, but how are we going to light it, shoved all the way down there (if you did it right, the firecracker should be buried in there so deep, you will not be able to see it). This is where your blow torch comes into play.
Now, in order to see deep down in your pee hole while your are going after the firecracker with your blow torch, we are going to need a light source. Unless you were born with four hands (if so, skip this step), you will need a light source that can work on its own.
In order to do that, simply pour a gallon of gas all over your genitals. Light it with the blow torch, and you should be well on your way.

Ya know, sometimes I read shit on here (like this) and I wonder to myself, is this a persons fertile imagination?.....or, someone who needs extreme counseling OR Jesus??

Either way, I'm ALWAYS entertained...:clap:

 

[belgianass]

So what's female?

Pretty sure they're the ones that followed my advice and got their dicks blown off.

:elaugh::hatsoff::1orglaugh I hope this answer pleases you

someone who needs extreme counseling OR Jesus??

Jesus saves but for Stan it is toooooooooooo late ...