Ace Boobtoucher
Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Alright, calm down. I was working in Northwest Las Vegas at a private park and they were hosting a movie night. It's a pretty cool thing, really. They take a 25 foot inflatable screen and a projector and show **** movies, tonight's movie was "Bolt" and I really enjoyed it and the people were exceedingly friendly.
After the movie ended I helped the guy who runs all the special events for the developers dismantle the screen and stereo speakers.
A few times I've helped my friend, Jason, and I've seen him jump onto the deflated screen to speed things up. I waited a little too long before I piled onto the thing and basically hit concrete. Not too painful and I didn't even get a bump or bruise.
About twenty minutes later I had a little trouble breathing and my forehead and most of the area around my hips started tingling and warming up. Then my nose started running a little and I was thinking "WTF is going on?"
I checked my *** belt and I noticed my pepper spray was leaky. Well not just leaky. It was empty. When I landed on the concrete I crushed the cannister with my hip. Luckily the uniform of the day was black BDU pants and the orange tinted spray was not visible.
I wandered over to the pizza shop down the street and asked my friend Carol if I could use her bathroom and for a couple clean bar towels because my pants were on fire. She giggled a little about the hot pants thing and handed me a couple towels.
After I cleaned up a little I resumed my patrol but I was still getting irritated by the pepper spray. I went home a little early to shower and throw all my uniform stuff and the pepper spray holster in the wash.
I learned my lesson tonight, maybe. Look before you leap........I don't know. It kind of rings true. Anybody have any other cliches that apply?
After the movie ended I helped the guy who runs all the special events for the developers dismantle the screen and stereo speakers.
A few times I've helped my friend, Jason, and I've seen him jump onto the deflated screen to speed things up. I waited a little too long before I piled onto the thing and basically hit concrete. Not too painful and I didn't even get a bump or bruise.
About twenty minutes later I had a little trouble breathing and my forehead and most of the area around my hips started tingling and warming up. Then my nose started running a little and I was thinking "WTF is going on?"
I checked my *** belt and I noticed my pepper spray was leaky. Well not just leaky. It was empty. When I landed on the concrete I crushed the cannister with my hip. Luckily the uniform of the day was black BDU pants and the orange tinted spray was not visible.
I wandered over to the pizza shop down the street and asked my friend Carol if I could use her bathroom and for a couple clean bar towels because my pants were on fire. She giggled a little about the hot pants thing and handed me a couple towels.
After I cleaned up a little I resumed my patrol but I was still getting irritated by the pepper spray. I went home a little early to shower and throw all my uniform stuff and the pepper spray holster in the wash.
I learned my lesson tonight, maybe. Look before you leap........I don't know. It kind of rings true. Anybody have any other cliches that apply?
