How to close the deal on a girl?

[jasn88cubs]

I'M awful at trying to get a girl to become boyfriend/girlfriend.

i either look clingy or that I don't have any interest at all.

so what's a good way to seal the deal?

Here is where I am

I met a girl on a dating site and we talked there for a month. then we talked on facebook for about a month. we got along great and i asked her if she wanted to go do something so we could meet up and hang out.

So we went bowling and had a great time. when we left she gave me a hug and i asked if we should do something again soon and she said yes i think we should. i asked if we should consider it a date and she said yes

then i screwed up and said should we make it offical then and she didnt know what i meant. i aske dif she saw this as a date and she said no i just thought it was us meeting. i said yes it was and apoligized for making it seem like i was pushing it to fast. she gave me another hug and said its ok. I basically felt like an idiot.

so know I'm confused on what to do next. Just keep hanging out with her and letting it happen?

I'm also confused on how often I should communicate with her. Again I don;t want to look clingy but I also want to show interest.

thanks

 

[Henrik Larsson]

Pull out your penis on her

I mean just mid conversation, just pull out your penis and ask if she likes it, who knows You Might get lucky

You could just be talking about something random, then suddenly unzip your trousers/pants and yank it out

Girls love this kind of thing, they love if the man is spontaneous

It always works for me anyway

 

[STDiva]

Pull out your penis on her

I mean just mid conversation, just pull out your penis and ask if she likes it, who knows You Might get lucky

You could just be talking about something random, then suddenly unzip your trousers/pants and yank it out

Girls love this kind of thing, they love if the man is spontaneous

It always works for me anyway

 

[Ulysses31]

Looks like she only sees you as a friend, many women are naturally flirty and touchy feely and maybe You Mistook this to mean she liked you in a different way or maybe she doesn't feel she knows you well enough yet to date. I'm pretty sure she now knows you're interested now. Sure she don't have a boyfriend?

 

[Henrik Larsson]

In complete seriousnes, i would say this.

Don't talk to her for maybe a couple of days, then you will not seem clingy at all, even though you don't really in the first place.

Try and get to know her a bit better and then when you feel comfortable enough, ask her out for dinner or even a smaller date, i.e what you said, bowling. Make sure it is somewhere you can talk though, the cinema isn't great for that. Alse make sure that she knows it is a proper date and not just two friends, then she will know that you like her, if you just go out bowling or whatever she may think you are just friends whereas you may think it is a date, that is why dinner is good.

Get to know her a bit better though, go out with her afew times just as friends until you and more importanty her feel comfortable. Ask her out to dinner and if she likes you she will say yes


If you say shall we make it a date though, that doesn't have to mean an actuall date, i could say that to my friends and it wouldn't mean anything, she may of seen it in the laatter way. I also think you went wrong when you said shall we make it official, that might have been too much for her to handle if she had only met you a couple of times, she needs time to see what you are really like, rather than just talking screen to screen, so just go out a few times face to face in a non date type manner, then when the time is right, ask her out to dinner etc

 

[STDiva]

In complete seriousnes, i would say this.

Don't talk to her for maybe a couple of days, then you will not seem clingy at all, even though you don't really in the first place.

Try and get to know her a bit better and then when you feel comfortable enough, ask her out for dinner or even a smaller date, i.e what you said, bowling. Make sure it is somewhere you can talk though, the cinema isn't great for that. Alse make sure that she knows it is a proper date and not just two friends, then she will know that you like her, if you just go out bowling or whatever she may think you are just friends whereas you may think it is a date, that is why dinner is good.

Get to know her a bit better though, go out with her afew times just as friends until you and more importanty her feel comfortable. Ask her out to dinner and if she likes you she will say yes

 

[alexpnz]

In complete seriousnes, i would say this.

Don't talk to her for maybe a couple of days, then you will not seem clingy at all, even though you don't really in the first place.

Try and get to know her a bit better and then when you feel comfortable enough, ask her out for dinner or even a smaller date, i.e what you said, bowling. Make sure it is somewhere you can talk though, the cinema isn't great for that. Alse make sure that she knows it is a proper date and not just two friends, then she will know that you like her, if you just go out bowling or whatever she may think you are just friends whereas you may think it is a date, that is why dinner is good.

Get to know her a bit better though, go out with her afew times just as friends until you and more importanty her feel comfortable. Ask her out to dinner and if she likes you she will say yes

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_VmRyPLnSWRQ/S7JDsbT_H_I/AAAAAAAABYk/LQEvH1V-4Dk/s1600/picture-15.png

 

[Henrik Larsson]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_VmRyPLnSWRQ/S7JDsbT_H_I/AAAAAAAABYk/LQEvH1V-4Dk/s1600/picture-15.png

Hey it works for me, and if it works for me it will work for anyone

I have had a few gf's from doing just that

Many of my Relationships have started from house parties though, when the girl knows me, but everyone is really drunk
My longest relationship started from when i was drunk, so try that if you want

 

[STDiva]

Hey it works for me, and if it works for me it will work for anyone

I have had a few gf's from doing just that

Many of my Relationships have started from house parties though, when the girl knows me, but everyone is really drunk
My longest relationship started from when i was drunk, so try that if you want

 

[DOA82]

Sounds like you did alright to me.

No one is expected to be the all perfect charismatic Don Juan on a first date, or in this case just meeting a girl.

Call the girl, set us your official first date and treat it as such. I hate giving advice in these kinda threads, the simplest thing to do is not to do anything. Dont try so hard, enjoy yourself and see where it goes.

Read the girl, if she seems interested in you as a boyfriend, great. If shes only gonna treat you as a friend, shit happens and maybe the next girl will show more interest.

 

[Henrik Larsson]

I'm not another Gloyster, i don't live with my mum

I am single at the moment though, so maybe you are right

 

[DOA82]

I'm not another Gloyster, i don't live with my mum

I am single at the moment though, so maybe you are right

Stop hi jacking the guys thread with crap.

 

[littlelara86]

In complete seriousnes, i would say this.

Don't talk to her for maybe a couple of days, then you will not seem clingy at all, even though you don't really in the first place.

Try and get to know her a bit better and then when you feel comfortable enough, ask her out for dinner or even a smaller date, i.e what you said, bowling. Make sure it is somewhere you can talk though, the cinema isn't great for that. Alse make sure that she knows it is a proper date and not just two friends, then she will know that you like her, if you just go out bowling or whatever she may think you are just friends whereas you may think it is a date, that is why dinner is good.

Get to know her a bit better though, go out with her afew times just as friends until you and more importanty her feel comfortable. Ask her out to dinner and if she likes you she will say yes


If you say shall we make it a date though, that doesn't have to mean an actuall date, i could say that to my friends and it wouldn't mean anything, she may of seen it in the laatter way. I also think you went wrong when you said shall we make it official, that might have been too much for her to handle if she had only met you a couple of times, she needs time to see what you are really like, rather than just talking screen to screen, so just go out a few times face to face in a non date type manner, then when the time is right, ask her out to dinner etc

this is probably your best way to go, except you dont have to wait a few days to call her. contrary to what a lot of guys say/think, calling the next day doesnt make us think that you are needy, it lets us know that you are interested and makes us feel good so as long as you arent blowing up her phone you should be fine in that aspect. you should also definitely be dating for a little while (at least enough dates to get to know eachother and be comfortable with eachother) before you go into "making it official". movies and then dinner is a great go to date , guys dont really ask you to the movies and dinner if its not a real date (stuff like bowling can be misunderstood as a friend thing) plus if you see the movie first it gives you plenty of dinner small talk.

 

[jasn88cubs]

In complete seriousnes, i would say this.

Don't talk to her for maybe a couple of days, then you will not seem clingy at all, even though you don't really in the first place.

Try and get to know her a bit better and then when you feel comfortable enough, ask her out for dinner or even a smaller date, i.e what you said, bowling. Make sure it is somewhere you can talk though, the cinema isn't great for that. Alse make sure that she knows it is a proper date and not just two friends, then she will know that you like her, if you just go out bowling or whatever she may think you are just friends whereas you may think it is a date, that is why dinner is good.

Get to know her a bit better though, go out with her afew times just as friends until you and more importanty her feel comfortable. Ask her out to dinner and if she likes you she will say yes


If you say shall we make it a date though, that doesn't have to mean an actuall date, i could say that to my friends and it wouldn't mean anything, she may of seen it in the laatter way. I also think you went wrong when you said shall we make it official, that might have been too much for her to handle if she had only met you a couple of times, she needs time to see what you are really like, rather than just talking screen to screen, so just go out a few times face to face in a non date type manner, then when the time is right, ask her out to dinner etc

yea I wouldn't say so far I seem clingy. We have talked for about 2-3 months now, but its pretty much been messaging each other online. Which I find easier, since we are both working and she being in school, tetxing may not work out as good.

With us meeting on a dating site, I would at least think she knows I would have at leats some interest in her due to talking to her so long after meeting her.

It went really well though, we went bowling and had a good time and talked. She seemed very interested in hanging out again soon and even said showed interest in coming to my town and doing something (we live about 15-20 mins apart).

I just couldn't believe I asked if she wanted to make it "offical" though. I have no idea why I said it, and knew I shouldn't have right away. She didn't seem to upset or freaked out by it though. She just saw us getting to know each other and I agreed, and we both said we will see how it goes next time we hang out. Anyway I apoligized for implying "let's make it official" and she gave me another hug so I don't think she was to upset by it.

I'm just trying to figure out the right way to go about this because the last girl I was trying to go out with, she said I didn't show enough interest, and she decided she didn't feel a connection.

So there's a fine line there I'm trying to understand what I need to do

 

[jasn88cubs]

Sounds like you did alright to me.

No one is expected to be the all perfect charismatic Don Juan on a first date, or in this case just meeting a girl.

Call the girl, set us your official first date and treat it as such. I hate giving advice in these kinda threads, the simplest thing to do is not to do anything. Dont try so hard, enjoy yourself and see where it goes.

Read the girl, if she seems interested in you as a boyfriend, great. If shes only gonna treat you as a friend, shit happens and maybe the next girl will show more interest.

yes so far I would day she seems interested.

Though I shouldn't have implied about us "making it offical", at least she knows I am interested in her, if she didn't know before

 

[LukeEl]

Don't even bother to label it until she wants to, go with the flow. If you like her just spend time with her when both are you are able to. Also if your continuously commuinicating with her daily stop. Try it every other day, give her something to yearn for if she is truely interested in you. If she's not and just wants to be buddies keep it plutonic, she may have a hotter friend of hers or just move on.

 

[Death-Proof-69]

in all honesty i'd suggest being direct and not trying to find ways to word things eloquently or smoothly just say it how it is...you'll be less likely to get mixed up in what you're saying, she'll understand you better and it will be all around better communication which will leave less mood killing awkwardness, example, instead of asking if you should make it official simply ask towards the end of the meeting/date if she'd like to meet up again for *insert activity here* next weekend...don't beat around the bush just be direct, but avoid being pushy or short, just clear speech so as to avoid confusion

 

[Alyssa Rose]

in all honesty i'd suggest being direct and not trying to find ways to word things eloquently or smoothly just say it how it is...you'll be less likely to get mixed up in what you're saying, she'll understand you better and it will be all around better communication which will leave less mood killing awkwardness, example, instead of asking if you should make it official simply ask towards the end of the meeting/date if she'd like to meet up again for *insert activity here* next weekend...don't beat around the bush just be direct, but avoid being pushy or short, just clear speech so as to avoid confusion

This^

Believe it or not most women like a straight forward man.. It's refreshing to meet someone who isn't into playing games, and yes, waiting on purpose to call her so that she'll want you more is a game. Unless she is some idiot with a teenager mentality than I'd say play games all you want.
Assuming that she's not an idiot I'd say the best thing you can do is have another date with her, get to know each other some more and then see if she'd like to see you again. Like Death proof said, don't beat around the bush, just say "Hey I had an awesome time tonight and I'd really love to take you out again. There's this great (insert something you think she'd be interested in) that I know of and I think you'd really like it."

If she declines then she just wasn't that into you, but that's okay because at least you tried and you'll find the right girl.

If she says yes, then awesome!

As far as saying "should we make it official" that can leave a lot of room open for interpretation.. Being the facebook addict that I am my first thought upon reading that was "facebook official?" So she could have taken that many different ways.

If you want to see where she stands on an actual relationship, I'd say wait until the 3rd date to make sure that you both really do hit it off and enjoy being with one another.. Then over dinner or drinks ask her what it is that she's looking for right now. You could say something along the lines of, "I've really enjoyed talking to you these last few months and I have had such an awesome time on our past couple of dates, you seem like someone I could definitely see myself being in a relationship with. I was wondering if you felt we might be heading in that direction?"

Saying that leaves it open for 3 things to happen.
A: She says, "I feel the exact same way and I'd love to be in a relationship with you!"
B:She says, "I really like where this is headed and I'd like to spend some more time getting to know you but I can definitely see myself in a relationship with you in the future."
C: She says, "I'm not really looking for a relationship right now, I'm sorry."

Whatever her answer is she'll definitely respect you for laying it all out on the line like that!

Remember, if for some reason this girl isn't the one, there's plenty of fish in the sea!

Good Luck!

 

[Death-Proof-69]

^even though the rep thing doesn't work for you i still did it...anyway, to expound further on nikkis post, the part about not playing games and leading on is a waste of time and assuming you're dating adult women, remember that they have lives and most likely don't have spare time for some guy to waste...if they're dating then they're looking for A.) a good time or B.) someone to go steady with...in either case wasting their time and playing games will drive them to look elsewhere same as most smart guys will do with a girl who toys with them in the same manner...plus it's a sign of immaturity which will only cause excess drama and stress in real relationships and cause simple hook-ups to become a night you wish you hadn't gone through with...just another :2 cents: worth of advice

 

[jasn88cubs]

This^

Believe it or not most women like a straight forward man.. It's refreshing to meet someone who isn't into playing games, and yes, waiting on purpose to call her so that she'll want you more is a game. Unless she is some idiot with a teenager mentality than I'd say play games all you want.
Assuming that she's not an idiot I'd say the best thing you can do is have another date with her, get to know each other some more and then see if she'd like to see you again. Like Death proof said, don't beat around the bush, just say "Hey I had an awesome time tonight and I'd really love to take you out again. There's this great (insert something you think she'd be interested in) that I know of and I think you'd really like it."

If she declines then she just wasn't that into you, but that's okay because at least you tried and you'll find the right girl.

If she says yes, then awesome!

As far as saying "should we make it official" that can leave a lot of room open for interpretation.. Being the facebook addict that I am my first thought upon reading that was "facebook official?" So she could have taken that many different ways.

If you want to see where she stands on an actual relationship, I'd say wait until the 3rd date to make sure that you both really do hit it off and enjoy being with one another.. Then over dinner or drinks ask her what it is that she's looking for right now. You could say something along the lines of, "I've really enjoyed talking to you these last few months and I have had such an awesome time on our past couple of dates, you seem like someone I could definitely see myself being in a relationship with. I was wondering if you felt we might be heading in that direction?"

Saying that leaves it open for 3 things to happen.
A: She says, "I feel the exact same way and I'd love to be in a relationship with you!"
B:She says, "I really like where this is headed and I'd like to spend some more time getting to know you but I can definitely see myself in a relationship with you in the future."
C: She says, "I'm not really looking for a relationship right now, I'm sorry."

Whatever her answer is she'll definitely respect you for laying it all out on the line like that!

Remember, if for some reason this girl isn't the one, there's plenty of fish in the sea!

Good Luck![/QUOTE

thanks. you make some good points. I'm not the kind of guy that wants to play games.

I do like this girl and would like to be boyfriend/girlfriend with her.

Though I feel I shouldn't have asked "should we make it offical" I don't think she seemed put off by it or would find me clingy because of it.

What you think?