Having said that, it's a great menial job to be in where you can fuck around with the general public without fear of getting into trouble like in a shop, bank etc.
Once at the last orders bell I saw a bloke propping up the bar was about to get to the end of his pint (we weren't very busy) so I said - helpfully, I thought - "do you want one more?" He replied "I do, but I don't want you to pour it. I want one of the dolly birds to serve me." Yes, he actually said dolly birds. Well, both of the dolly birds were good friends of mine and none of us particularly care for casual sexism, so I shot each of them a knowing look and pulled a face that says "nah, I don't think so." It's hard to describe the face, but they both knew what it meant. One went upstairs to start balancing one of the tills, one of them went round the other side of the bar to wash glasses, while I carried on serving the last few stragglers. Ten minutes later I rang the bell again. "Time, gentlemen please!" This tosser at the end of the bar said "I wanted another!" I smirked at him and said "WELL, I did ask!" and he fucked off. Dolly birds indeed.
People that think they can get served quicker at the bar by holding their note out in front of them. You're all dickheads.
"Put your money away sir, I'm not a whore, and if I were, I know you can't afford me."
Whistlers too. Dickheads. Usually think they've been there longest, even when you know "blue shirt" and "always orders Guinness" have been waiting longer.
"Sir, you whistle at taxi drivers and dogs, and I'm afraid I'm neither."
Best of all was Christmas Eve, this guy comes in ABSOLUTELY LEATHERED. He slurs to me about wanting "just one more drink" having blatantly been ejected from the last pub. I thought I'd have a laugh with him, and his reaction took me completely off guard. The boss had already given me the shaky head of "absolutely not."
"Look mate, he's not going to serve you, she's not going to serve you, she's not going to serve you and I'm not going to serve you. So why don't you just fuck off, yeah?"
His eyes rolled slowly up to meet my face, and suddenly he cheerfully went "Fair enough, so!" and stumbled out into the night. That took me by surprise somewhat.