How do you confirm natural breasts

[gunslingingbird]

You could try asking her... Just saying... :shy:

 

[bodie54]

They are presented to the United States Senate for confirmation or rejection by a simple majority vote. If approved, they are sworn in and begin their duties.

:rofl:

Correct, although there is one other method: receiving the Eucharist from a Catholic Bishop as soon as they reach the age of reason.

 

[BlueBalls]

Punch her in the tit and if your fist bounces off they are fake, if they are real she will sit on the floor and start to cry.

Then you will look like a complete wife beater and an asshole but you will have the answer to your question, and I suppose thats all that matters :dunno:

 

[Manalishi]

Simple, palpation :tongue:

 

[Secretchick]

no matter how much they try fake tits are thats it fake tits

real ones move in a way fake ones dont

Secret

 

[TheAdmiral]

Take her swimming, see if they float

 

[Natalie Sparks]

besides observing them for the signs of naturalness?

I guess the only other option is if the model has done a medical test, like Jana Defi.

Those are real!!

 

[Dean Henneberg]

How about squeeeeeeeeeezing them? :1orglaugh

 

[DonkMan]

The real ones feel like bags of sand, that's how you'll know they're real.

No but seriously, I'd check for incision scars, that's a good sign they're fake.

 

[Facial_King]

The real ones feel like bags of sand, that's how you'll know they're real.

No but seriously, I'd check for incision scars, that's a good sign they're fake.

Well, it might depend on how we're defining "real" - if tits have been REDUCED from a larger size (but the tit-flesh is all real), you'll still have incision marks/scars. Would you consider those fake/unnatural???

 

[ChefChiTown]

How do you confirm natural breasts?

The "Name" Method

Ask the subject for her name and wait for her to answer. If her name is associated with automobiles, seasons or gems, if her name is a play on words, or if her name is an XXX version of a celebrity's name, she has fake breasts. If her name is appropriate for a 60 year old woman, she has natural breasts.

Mercedes - FAKE
Autumn - FAKE
Sapphire - FAKE
Allison Wonderland - FAKE
Loosey Liu - FAKE

Gertrude - NATURAL
Harriet - NATURAL
Beatrice - NATURAL

The "Brush-Up" Method

While having a conversation with the subject, attempt to innocently and "accidentally" brush your shoulder up against her muffins. Be sure to pay close attention to how the breasts react to the nudge and don't forget to take notes on how it feels to you.

Chesticles should be somewhat fatty and feel like a ziploc bag full of Hunts chocolate pudding. After you shoulder bump her chest, if her honkers feel like they're frozen, full of pumice, or if it feels like they're wearing a helmet, she has fake breasts. If her cha-chas feel soft and meaty, like a perfectly marbled piece of beef tenderloin, she has natural breasts.

Be careful not to shoulder bump the subject too hard; you are not a linebacker.

The "Ask And You Shall Receive" Method

Ask the subject if she has fake or natural breasts. Be sure to ask as nicely as you can, as it can help you to avoid disaster.

"Pardon me ma'am, but may I ask if your breasts are real, please?" - YES

"Hey bitch, are those titties real or what?" - NO

If the subject answers by telling you that her breasts are fake, she has fake breasts. If the subject answers by slapping you square across the face and says "HOW DARE YOU" as she storms away, she has real breasts.

Studies show that this method is not highly recommended.

The "Earthquake" Method

While you are standing close to the subject, quickly grab her around the shoulders, shaking her back and forth, while screaming "EARTHQUAKE!!!" While she is vibrating back and forth like pocket rocket, look down her shirt and observe her ripe cleavage. If her breasts don't move, like she is Barbie, she has fake breasts. If her sweater puppies move around like water in kiddie pool, she has natural breasts.

Proceed with caution, as this method is highly risky. Upon finalization of this technique, there is no successful way to justify your actions. Enter at your own risk!

The "Bug" Method

This is a slightly riskier variation of the "Brush-Up" method. While engaging in conversation with the subject, randomly smack her tit sacks with your hand and take note to what you are feeling. When she asks you what you are doing, claim that she had a big bug on her shirt and you were just swatting it away. To make your actions more believable, act like it was the biggest bug you have ever seen and be sure to give her details, in order to distract her from her recent grope.

The following quotes have been found to work on a consistent basis:

"Did you see the size of that thing?"
"Well, I've never seen that before!"
"You're lucky it didn't sting you!"

The following quotes have been found to fail on a consistent basis:

"Wow, those are magnificent jugs."
"Daddy must be a proud man, to have created a set of tits like those!"
"I would love to milk you."

The "Rip Off Her Shirt And Have A Look" Method

WARNING: THIS METHOD SHOULD ONLY BE USED AS A LAST RESORT

During the past few decades, much research has been done in order to improve the success rate of this method. Although much progress has been had, it is still considered to be an extremely dangerous and somewhat illegal method which is used to obtain intimate information about a female's anatomy.

While talking to the subject, rapidly grab her shirt, rip it off of her body as hard as you can, tear her bra straight off of her chest and have a look. If you see scars, she has fake breasts. If you see the most amazing rack you have ever seen, she has natural breasts.

Since the subject is more than likely to get highly offended and become extremely dangerous, speed is a must. From the time of the shirt grab to the time of having a look-see at her balcony, no more than 2 seconds should be used. Any more than that could result in possible injury and/or arrest.

After executing this method, it is recommended that you run like hell to a place that is far, far away. It is also recommended that you never attempt to contact the subject again, as she could possibly want to take her anger out on your testicles.

 

[Becks...poamr]

Well, it might depend on how we're defining "real" - if tits have been REDUCED from a larger size (but the tit-flesh is all real), you'll still have incision marks/scars. Would you consider those fake/unnatural???

Kinda, because they were surgically meddled with.









Can I say "meddled" on a porn board?

 

[Captain Bowser]

Well, it might depend on how we're defining "real" - if tits have been REDUCED from a larger size (but the tit-flesh is all real), you'll still have incision marks/scars. Would you consider those fake/unnatural???

No, I would consider them a disappointment. (Unless they really were giving the woman back/other physical problems.)

 

[METAL HEAD]

give them the howard stern test

 

[belgianass]

Just suck on them, if you swallow a bag of sillicon, you'll know their fake ...

 

[D-rock]

Natural ones tend to lay flatter when the woman is laying down facing up.

 

[devlinvelez]

A knife does the trick.

....Usually a butter knife.....But i just squeeze them like zits.

 

[SyN1zt3Ru]

Punch her in the tit and if your fist bounces off they are fake, if they are real she will sit on the floor and start to cry.

Then you will look like a complete wife beater and an asshole but you will have the answer to your question, and I suppose thats all that matters :dunno:

:rofl:
I swear to Satan BlueBalls everything u say cracks me up

 

[gunslingingbird]

Can I say "meddled" on a porn board?

You can say anything you like, Becks. Just don't complain if some of us with *AHEM* less refinement interpret things different from what you intended.

 

[senob44]

Randomly bring up in conversation that you read about a new "scare involving breast implants". Gauge her reaction, and decide accordingly.

Tell her you are looking to get "nut implant surgery" and ask if she could recommend a doctor.

Ask her, "If I said your chest was fake, would you hold it against me?"