And I thought noone could beat my confused/demented 88 year old female patient from two nights ago (with a hip fracture) who kept insisting that the key ingredients to Leonardo da Vinci's paintings and illustrations... ("life like" was the term she used..."said with a wide open face/eyes expressing 'wonder/enchantment'".... hey, that's what the psychiatrist said!)... was "human sperm."
And not only did she stop at that - she demanded anyone who walked by her... be they male or female .... provide her with "enough spunk to complete my magnificence! Please! I just need some semen!"
No.
I'm NOT joking.
And this was probably my MOST difficult patient to have in an ambulance in a while.... I admit, because I'm not comfortable with "dementia patients".
They remind me of my Father...
- R.