Guys, ever fake an orgasm?

Have any of you dudes for some reason ever faked an orgasm? If so please explain why:)

Why would they? If you can't stand the woman, don't have sex with her... Or, pull out and hold her down while you cum all over her face. After that, take a picture, leave without saying a word and then send the picture to her friends and family.
 

L3ggy

Special Operations FOX-HOUND
What's that?
 
I have one time, I was eating at a pizza shop that just opened and the waitress that brought me my slice was staring at me to see if I liked it, the shop was new and there was no customer's so I felt bad :dunno: She was pretty cute too, so as I ate I faked a good one! LOL :rofl2: After I was done she gave me head in da back :D
 

John_8581

FreeOnes Lifetime Member
Hehe... :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: ... Now that I've stopped crying. That's great. Really funny stuff so far. Smile it's fun!!

j/k Icecold322. Maybe I'll cum up with a serious answer. Though it will be a hard one. :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2:
 
one time when i was super drunk just so i could pass out without being too much of an asshole. i don't think i convinced anyone tho...goddamn whiskey dick...
 

Juliuscaesar

Closed Account
Never.
 
If I'm too drunk, I just tell her I'm quitting so I can sleep. No need to fake it. I'm a straight shooter.
 
i did my first time cause i was nervous and couldn't cum and didn't really know how to tell her. never since then though. :dunno:
 

RichardNailder

Approved Content Owner
If I'm too drunk, I just tell her I'm quitting so I can sleep. No need to fake it. I'm a straight shooter.

:dito:


But I'll add - if she's just not doing it for me - I'll tell her.

I was TDY (for the guys that have never served in the US military, that's the acronym for "Temporary Duty") to Panama Beach Florida. I had had a few beers and had a pretty good set of "beer-goggles" on. Ended up in the room of a sweet young thing - and was just railing her like no tomorrow. Somehow that wasn't good enough so I told her she should get on top (apparently the beer-goggles were still working). She said that it might not be such a good idea but I convinced her it was fine. Just after she managed to climb on top of me, the fucking beer-goggles failed and I about lost it. Why the fuck is this porker trying to crush me? immediately went through my mind, and as is usually the case with me, right out my mouth at the same time.

I pushed her off, put on my pants and started to leave. You would think I'd said enough but when she asked me "what's the matter", I fuckin lost it.

Oh - and remember, at 22, I was 6' tall and weighed a whopping 124 lbs. Had a fuckin 28" waist - 1/10 what this bitch had.

"Should-a put another quarter in the beer goggles honey". And I left.
 
^^^damn dude, and i thought i was skinny, you woulda made me look built...i've never had a beer goggle issue, when i get that drunk my dick stops working so no worries, it's a self-defense mechanism :D
 

RichardNailder

Approved Content Owner
^^^damn dude, and i thought i was skinny, you woulda made me look built...i've never had a beer goggle issue, when i get that drunk my dick stops working so no worries, it's a self-defense mechanism :D

When I went into the military in 1979, I weighed 118 lbs and had hair down to the middle of my back - Looked like any famous heroin addict rock star of the late 70's - except I didn't have acne. :D
 
When I went into the military in 1979, I weighed 118 lbs and had hair down to the middle of my back - Looked like any famous heroin addict rock star of the late 70's - except I didn't have acne. :D

Jesus. 6' and 118lbs? I've seen crack heads with better physiques.
 

squallumz

knows petras secret: she farted.
i have a few times. too drunk usually.

its really quite stupid. they totally have to know.
 
Top