Who routinely engages in self-abuse that doesn't involve looking at some kind of porn??? Just you and your thoughts or maybe toys of some kind or exploring your own body? I will admit that it's been a long, long time since I've had any self-love sessions to speak of where porn wasn't the main focus. But in days past I did from time to time enjoy just getting down with myself and I'm a huge fan of the concept of just making love to yourself. So anybody have that kind of "special relationship" with your body where you like to just pleasure yourself with hands, toys, objects and don't necessarily need to bring in outside images?
Yes, sometimes, there is just the pure enjoyment of sitting back, remembering you are a man, and capable of getting off. It should be a relief to have such a pleasure in life, and thank God you are a man.
Too many men, especially young men, learn masturbation on their own, and totally lack any emotional guidance. They are left with disappointment, guilt and other issues. It took me several years to recognize it was not only healthy, but to always use it to lift my spirits.
With visual stimulation, it takes recognizing that lust is good, envy is not. So lust for women, but do not envy those that have her. Enjoy the fact that God made you capable of appreciating and wanting the female form, programmed you to procreate, but don't dip into things that would cross consent. As long as you are always consenting, with yourself, with others, cum all you can.
I suspect this is more common in women.
Agreed. I think women are taught to appreciate their bodies more than men. And there is a society that tends to naturally place blame more on men for many things, because men have commonly ruled in most societies in the past. So men are taught all sorts of things, especially the introduction of guilt, including their healthy, sexual urges. This affects our lusts and drives as well.
We just have guilt about a great number of things, far more than women will ever see or we present. So naturally, when we are alone, we have been programmed by society to not appreciate our capabilities as much as we should. But those men who have de-programmed themselves from these passed-on guilts have as much freedom as women usually enjoy.
Not saying girls can't enjoy porn, but with so many wonderful dildos and vibes around and women being more head-oriented during sex,
I would argue that women are just as visual as men, but it's society that changes that.
In fact, women have the opposite issue than men. Men have a lot of guilt in private, but accepted in public. Women are criticized in public, but have a comfort zone in private. I think that right there is why women find private masturbation to be natural and liberating.
seems like it's more likely men would gravitate more toward using porn to masturbate.
In public, men are fed a lot more of the female body in media and presentation than women are fed of male bodies. I think this is why men are always looking for the perfect, female body.
And frankly, why not? The female body, in all her forms, is a work of art. The variations and combinations are always, continually refreshing. I see the anatomy of my wife in other women, some similar combinations, and then variations I never expected. It only drives my lusts for my wife further, because she is my love, and the form I've chosen.
Also never underestimate the beauty of a woman throughout her entire life. As she ages, all the little changes. As her womanly curves widen and fill out, enjoy every new arc and beauty. I see so many men disappointed as their girlfriends exit their teenage years and change into a woman. They want rail-thin, teenage metabolism forever. If that's the case, then never get married, and date women 18-19 only.
When I hit 18, I went for late 30s and early 40s immediately (probably a little bit before 18, but I won't comment on those). I then met and married an 18 year-old, and now she's into her mid 30s and only becoming more beautiful. I honestly think everyone should partner young and enjoy a woman throughout her life, but that's just what works for me. If you love porn, then find a partner that does. If you want to sleep with other people, then find a partner that does too, and will be responsible (taking all the precautions) with you as well.
People ask me what I first notice in a woman. I always notice the apple shape or hourglass. People think I'm a pervert because I don't start with the face. At work, I'm neck-up, always. But in social settings, I'm all over that body. I immediately eliminate 80% of women, allegedly "hot" women, because they are straight or spoon shaped. Then I eliminate another 15-18% (95-98% total) out of just forms and proportions, especially since I overwhelmingly prefer fuller figured women who are short apples or wider hourglasses. Most fuller figured women are straight or spoon shaped, not my type at all.
I lust. It's healthy as I never cross consent. Those who use lust to cross consent give lust a bad name. Just like those who cross violence give sex, porn and other things a bad name. If porn was always about fantasy and real-life consent, there wouldn't be any issue. It would be mainstream. It wouldn't be about "degrading" women. In reality, most porn is already this. It's "clean." But because people don't differentiate, we have all these issues.
The nice thing about self-lust is the fact that it's 100% guaranteed consent. There's peace in that. People should indulge in this. It's almost like a meditation of sorts.
I wouldn't think anything less of a guy, though, who said he tended not to porn up his solo sessions! Whatever gets the juices out, I say!
Well, remember, not all of us think of intercourse or otherwise direct intimacy with a woman.
Here's a thought ...
Every just jack off thinking about looking at the woman, and not plowing yourself into her?
Just looking at her curves, saying, "she's in the room, but I won't touch her."
I'm sure some of us have, but many of us like dipping into the joining and intimacy.
I'm not just talking about not having intercourse, but not even touching her in your fantasy.
I've long stated that more women would be intimate with men if they knew men would not attempt or pressure them to be intimate in ways they did not want to. If women knew they could always trust every man they bring home, they'd do it more often and consistently.
Maybe that starts with masturbation. It starts with being realistic about a model, that she might let you be with her, but only look at her. Maybe you work up to consent. Maybe you never insert in her ... ever. Just variations on using visual, erotic nature.
Without a physical keyboard it makes it a little hard to post on here, but it's worth it! I can see myself migrating exclusively to the tablet before too long. It's a revelation.
Bluetooth keyboards solve that problem. You can pair them and then put the keyboard to the side for the session, then bring it back to type when done.
One thing I'd like to see is more "privacy" options on tablets. Things that let you have a separate, private, locked down session so others cannot see what you were doing. It's not that I want to hide anything from anyone, but people don't need to be going through my private pleasures if they pick up my tablet. And Firefox private browsing is only part of that equation.