Girlfriend never wants to have sex anymore!

[neighborboy]

I lost all respect for the guy with his attempts at justifing cheating. Saying "Oh Ill never do it" means nothing, if you wouldnt do it, why mention it? That ticks me off.

Fair enough. The original poster clearly needs to examine his own feelings, because such extreme resentment isn't going to help. But he did come back and say he wouldn't ever actually cheat on her.

I've yet to hear a good solution to the problem (and I mean beyond this thread), which clearly affects a lot of couples (or else porn wouldn't exist).

I would just add that I think one of the reasons he is feeling so angry is because he feels unloved, that his girlfriend's rejection of him feels like she doesn't love him. This probably isn't a good way of thinking about it, and your girlfriend probably isn't withholding sex because she doesn't like you. She's just not in the mood. I think we're making a big mistake by equating sexual desire with emotional attachment, and the original article I linked to made the argument that for women sexual desire doesn't always work that way. The $64,000 question is how to get her in the mood. I don't have a good solution.

 

[broderic_randal]

you better have your username changed, because who wouldnt want to have sex with thegod?

 

[thegod]

neighborboy understands me perfectly, i'm just a regular guy with a common problem.

i'm not a bad person, i'm the perfect boyfreind really. i do lots for her, keep her happy, enteratined. we both love each other very much, and still in love with each other.

neighborboy was right in saying that one of my fears also is that is her love for me dwindling? i mean, i know my gf, and she wouldn't have sex with anybody she didn't love, so why won't she have sex with me? she expalins it as sometimes she's just not in the mood and fair enough ya know, but what if subconsiously she just dones't love me anymore

this thread has gone to another level. i've discussed this with her, whether or not she love sme still, and she assures me she is. and it felt real ya know, but that was a few days ago, and ever since, no sex. granted there hasn't been an opportunity since last night.

all my friends are the same. they all say that after a few years its natural for the sex to die down. All 4 of them in long relationships, and one of them is married. My gf and his wife are also friends and one day they discussed this and my friends wife said how sometimes she just doesn't want to have sex, and whether or not that's normal and my friend always wants to have sex. My gf told her that she's exactly the same, and they both agree its just normal.

 

[Will E Worm]

First of all, you are both two young for a serious relationship.

I don't agree with this.

If she loved you so much, she'd be having sex with you. Women who are wildly in love with and physically attracted to their man have sex with them.

Do you want someone who is 25 with the mindset of an old maid?

I agree with this. :hatsoff:

I'm not sure about "wildly", but she has been around awhile.
There isn't any reason for her to reject you, especially at her age.

I don't see a reason to reject someone you love at any age.

 

[ChefChiTown]

neighborboy understands me perfectly, i'm just a regular guy with a common problem.

i'm not a bad person, i'm the perfect boyfreind really. i do lots for her, keep her happy, enteratined. we both love each other very much, and still in love with each other.

PFFFFFFFFTTTTT!!! <----- That was the sound of me, spitting my root beer all over the room.

The perfect boyfriend? The Share A Joke thread is in the Members Only section.

If you were a perfect boyfriend, you wouldn't care that it's been a whole "2 weeks" since you've had sex. If you were a perfect boyfriend, the following thoughts would never cross your mind...

I was seriously considering going to a club then and there to pick up a chick to have sex with.

Personally, the way my mind works, i can distinguish love from sex, and I think i can have sex with other women, and still love my gf, and I don't have a sense of guilt.

all my friends are the same. they all say that after a few years its natural for the sex to die down.

She'll also stop saying "I love you" all of the time and she'll stop kissing you so much. I just thought I would forewarn you. That way, you don't get all unnecessarily angry at life when it happens.

 

[Will E Worm]

all my friends are the same. they all say that after a few years its natural for the sex to die down.

I don't agree with that, because it's

My gf and his wife are also friends and one day they discussed this
and my friends wife said how sometimes she just doesn't want to have sex, and whether or not that's normal and my friend always wants to have sex. My gf told her that she's exactly the same, and they both agree its just normal.

And, that's why she acts like she does now.
Your girlfriend thinks you will stick around like her friend's boyfriend.

Keep her away from that girl. It's not normal.
I don't know why anyone would think it would be.

 

[stampede2873]

Again, another post that I cannot offer any decent advice or help. Some of you already know how I feel about these matters and how I already handle them.

So.... to "thegod" I can only say this....

Either deal with it, or deal with your conscience. Your choice.

 

[hedonis]

First of all, it's a girlfriend- not a wife- and if you've been together several years and it's only died off to once every two weeks- consider yourself lucky.

This is a girlfriend, and you're both young. You're going to have to ask yourself, if you get "nuclear" inside because she's not having sex with you, how is this going to get better? The spark of newness is gone, dude. You're not suddenly going to find that same ole feeling again somewhere.

If you'd been married several years, I'd say "gee, that's too bad, have some porn and suck it up", but...

long time together or not- this is not your legally bound wife. This is a girlfriend, and you're young. If you want to be happy, be happy, and do what makes you happy. Don't be put off by the short term hurt if the long term happiness is still out there.

H

 

[ronimal]

If she never wants sex it's probably because she's fucking someone else. I recommend you do the same.

 

[duster]

Talk to her

 

[Psychology]

I love how everyone here is saying that his girlfriend not wanting sex is ok and he should just deal with it. 'So what it she doesn't want sex". It's the fucking seneca convention up in here.

 

[Will E Worm]

I love how everyone here is saying that his girlfriend not wanting sex is ok and he should just deal with it. 'So what it she doesn't want sex". It's the fucking seneca convention up in here.

Not me. :hatsoff:

She needs to start putting out like she used to or adios. :wave2:

 

[Madilson]

I would just ask her what the deal is, say we used to have it alot, what happened.

 

[LuvRedFuzz]

You didn't accidentally get married did you??

 

[TwatDetective]

Talk with her. Tell her you want both love and lust.

If for some reason she can't give you both, You Might want to leave.

I'd wait a little longer than two weeks, though.

 

[Bone]

First of all, it's a girlfriend- not a wife- and if you've been together several years and it's only died off to once every two weeks- consider yourself lucky.

This is a girlfriend, and you're both young. You're going to have to ask yourself, if you get "nuclear" inside because she's not having sex with you, how is this going to get better? The spark of newness is gone, dude. You're not suddenly going to find that same ole feeling again somewhere.

If you'd been married several years, I'd say "gee, that's too bad, have some porn and suck it up", but...

long time together or not- this is not your legally bound wife. This is a girlfriend, and you're young. If you want to be happy, be happy, and do what makes you happy. Don't be put off by the short term hurt if the long term happiness is still out there.

H

best overall advice :thumbsup:

1) female sex drive does not have to diminish. i have been married for long long time and we have almost as much sex (3-4 times per week) and far better quality than early in our relationship

2) a serious relationship without sex is not as good as a relationship that has great sex. if you aint getting good stuff, consider yourself deprived. is that what u want?

3) if u want to be her "friend" n thats good nuff for u, so be it. it would not be nuff for me. :2 cents:

 

[STDiva]

a real god wouldnt have this problem.

 

[Will E Worm]

best overall advice :thumbsup:

1) female sex drive does not have to diminish. i have been married for long long time and we have almost as much sex (3-4 times per week) and far better quality than early in our relationship

I agree with this. If someone says it does and it's normal they are delusional.
And, the person using that as an excuse needs to live alone and not subject someone to living with them.

I disagreed with Hedonis, especially here:

"First of all, it's a girlfriend- not a wife- and if you've been together several years and it's only died off to once every two weeks- consider yourself lucky."

"If you'd been married several years, I'd say "gee, that's too bad, have some porn and suck it up",

So, the wife or girlfriend can control everything? That's

They were having regular sex and it should have stayed that way. Otherwise it sounds like she was using sex to keep him. Which is wrong to lead someone on like that.

Wife or not. if you have sex before marriage don't lead someone on and don't think just because you are married you can with hold sex from your spouse.

If you think you can. Don't get married.

 

[Ashleigh]

K I'm gonna give a female perspective here, hope it helps or makes sense.

First off...can you pinpoint the reason why her libido is so low? I mean its pretty clear here that she's not witholding sex because she doesn't love you - obviously she does if you say that your relationship is otherwise great. So its likely just the generic low libido that pretty much EVERY woman will suffer from at some point or another. So ask yourself this:

a) How high is her stress level? If its high, or she has alot of work responsibilities, does all the housework, or generally has alot of high stress stuff going on, thats the single most BIGGEST libido killer. Try picking up some of the duties around the house, give her a back rub, take her to the spa...if you suspect that she really is too tired at the end of the day because of all her daily crap going on, then try to fix that first and see if it helps.

b) maybe the spark is gone? I mean chances are is you've had sex hundreds of times before and maybe she's bored with the routine? This isn't here to offend, but to maybe help out with trying new things. Talk to her about it...communication is key to a good sex life. See if theres anything new she wants to try...maybe change up your foreplay routine a bit or add in something new. Or just surprise her one nite by lighting candles, putting down rose petals and seeing where it takes you. You'd be surprised how far a little effort in lovemaking can take you.

c) has she started any new medications lately? You mentioned the pill, that definitely could be a factor. Maybe talk about a different method of birth control or see if she'd be willing to switch to a new pill to try it out?

Bottom line here, is that you have something good...getting juvenile and pissy about a lack of sex isn't the way to get what you want. Most of the advice here is either "deal with no sex or move on" which shouldn't be something you should be listening to if you really value your lady and your relationship and future with her. Talk to her, be open about your feelings in a non pushy way, just explain that You Miss her physical company and want to be closer to her on that level. I'm sure she'll understand. I've suffered from low libido before, and honestly my man fixed it simply by keeping the house cleaner for me...just helping out with chores took alot of pressure off of me, and gave me more time in the day to say thank you Just listen to your lady, I'm sure she knows why she doesn't want to have sex...and if she doesn't then it might be time she talks to her doctor to see if theres anything physically going wrong.

Hope this helped.

 

[General Warcock]

Just make her feel guilty about it, and I'm sure your fortunes will change.