Fantasy Fucking 1 copyright just arrived, who is the best company to attempt to sell to first?

[John_8581]

Post them, seriously. I don't doubt you get bombarded with **** daily, but I think it would make for one hell of an entertaining blog....

...Plus taking this thread way off topic :2offtopic

:rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2:

 

[DOA82]

...Plus taking this thread way off topic :2offtopic

:rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2:

Fine, start a whole new thread about it. But the emails these guys receive must be a far more interesting read than the nonsensical ramblings of a mentally impaired, financially incompetent, socially retarded wanna be with delusions of grandeur.

 

[RichardNailder]

Post them, seriously. I don't doubt you get bombarded with **** daily, but I think it would make for one hell of an entertaining blog.

I have my trash que set to auto-delete but I'll turn it off for a while and post a few. Those combined with all the wanna-be "male talent" and custom script requests get to be a real pain in the ass.


In fact - I'm making this offer once:





Jsmoothpa - since you are so desperate to get into "the business", I'll let you audition as male talent under the following conditions:

1. You are over 18 years old.

2. You show up on location sober (no ***** or ******* whatsoever in your system) and remain so while on site.

3. You comply with all industry recommended STD testing.

4. You bring two forms of government issued ID (at least one must have a picture that looks like you).

5. You bring proof that you can legally work in the US.

6. You complete all required contracts, releases and payroll documents.

7. You shoot the scene on my choosing.

8. We stream the filming live on FreeOnes for everyone to watch.

9. You bring $1000 (of your own money) to cover my costs in the event you fail and I have no scene (other that the awesome footage of you failing on camera).

10. You allow us to place bets on the odds of your success (as a participant you may not be involved in the betting).

11. You agree that you will receive no compensation whatsoever.




For the purposes of determining items #9 and #10, a failure will be measured by:

a. You cannot get or maintain an erection on your own.

b. You ejaculate before I tell you to.

c. You ejaculate more then 2 minutes after I tell you too.

d. You ejaculate anywhere other than where I tell you to.

e. You freak the talent or crew out - if they refuses to work with you or walk off the set - you fail.

f. You disrespect me, the talent or crew in any way whatsoever.

 

[Death-Proof-69]

I have my trash que set to auto-delete but I'll turn it off for a while and post a few. Those combined with all the wanna-be "male talent" and custom script requests get to be a real pain in the ass.


In fact - I'm making this offer once:





Jsmoothpa - since you are so desperate to get into "the business", I'll let you audition as male talent under the following conditions:

1. You are over 18 years old.

2. You show up on location sober (no ***** or ******* whatsoever in your system) and remain so while on site.

3. You comply with all industry recommended STD testing.

4. You bring two forms of government issued ID (at least one must have a picture that looks like you).

5. You bring proof that you can legally work in the US.

6. You complete all required contracts, releases and payroll documents.

7. You shoot the scene on my choosing.

8. We stream the filming live on FreeOnes for everyone to watch.

9. You bring $1000 (of your own money) to cover my costs in the event you fail and I have no scene (other that the awesome footage of you failing on camera).

10. You allow us to place bets on the odds of your success (as a participant you may not be involved in the betting).

11. You agree that you will receive no compensation whatsoever.




For the purposes of determining items #9 and #10, a failure will be measured by:

a. You cannot get or maintain an erection on your own.

b. You ejaculate before I tell you to.

c. You ejaculate more then 2 minutes after I tell you too.

d. You ejaculate anywhere other than where I tell you to.

e. You freak the talent or crew out - if they refuses to work with you or walk off the set - you fail.

f. You disrespect me, the talent or crew in any way whatsoever.

opportunity is knocking Jsmoothpa, i suggest you open the door or GTFO.

 

[xfire]

Too much pressure, Papa. He'll never show. :rofl2:

 

[bobjustbob]

He also has the opportunity to participate in the World ******* tour with Sabrina Deep in NYC. It's in just a few weeks and he already said he'd like to be with her. All he has to do is PM her and he can display his talents before a couple of professional models with their film crew. Short trip from PA. Only a few stops in the USA before she goes back to Europe. All he has to do is PM her and she will give him all of the details. An opportunity for an amateur to star in a porn film with a few stars. Just what he has been asking for.

 

[Jsmoothpa]

I can see the fakeness in the reactions to my actions. it's what you do, how you wanted to be. and I will leave you that way! LOL

 

[bobjustbob]

I hope you're not talking to me or papagmp. He is the real deal and that offer is quite acceptable. Pitt to Denver is $300 round trip if that is where he does his work. He may have other outlets. This is a guy that make money doing what you want to do. I still think you should jump on the Sabrina Deep thing in NYC. Did you contact her yet?

 

[RichardNailder]

Amazing how quick a serious offer shut this boy up.

 

[Jsmoothpa]

Put up or shut up! No need for games when $95,000 is the opening bid! I'm a professional business man, Accounting, communications, sports, and money is all I know. Women is why I show you all what a wonderful life I am building. And the offer is on motion, Brianna don't drop your lotion! let time tick, our time away as we see how easy communication is from day to day?

Let's see if the cat dragged something profitable and interesting in for the people to earn with, or will it be another hokes we have to endure from more professionals around the world?

Never hated the love I got, just hated the pain love forgot!

Let's see what's next?

 

[gunslingingbird]

Put up or shut up! No need for games when $95,000 is the opening bid! I'm a professional business man, Accounting, communications, sports, and money is all I know. Women is why I show you all what a wonderful life I am building. And the offer is on motion, Brianna don't drop your lotion! let time tick, our time away as we see how easy communication is from day to day?

Let's see if the cat dragged something profitable and interesting in for the people to earn with, or will it be another hokes we have to endure from more professionals around the world?

Never hated the love I got, just hated the pain love forgot!

Let's see what's next?

Look, ****** fucker, your fucking Kindergarten rhymes don't impress any god damn one here. You got a genuine, feasible offer from a legitimate porn producer, and you fucking ignored him. Your delusional idea that, somehow, something that could've been written by an eight-year-old with finger paint is gonna get you $95,000 dollars is ridiculous.

You claim to be a businessman. What sort of two-bit chump would invest $95,000 dollars in something with no collateral? If you can't even come up with money to ride a bus from Pennsylvania to New York, I HIGHLY doubt you would have money for a $95,000-dollar collateral for an investment.

Papa made you a reasonable, feasible offer. You think you're such a hot shot that you can just waltz into someone's office and demand $95,000 dollars for a "porn script"? Prove it. Take him up on his offer and, to dumb it down to terms You Might understand, put your money where your mouth is. Show everyone that you've got talent worth $95,000 dollars.

I'm so fucking annoyed by this load of horseshit that I'm tempted to break decorum and close this thread and ban you for being a shithead. Ugh, now I'm cranky.

 

[FreeOnes_Anders]

Look, ****** fucker, your fucking Kindergarten rhymes don't impress any god damn one here. You got a genuine, feasible offer from a legitimate porn producer, and you fucking ignored him. Your delusional idea that, somehow, something that could've been written by an eight-year-old with finger paint is gonna get you $95,000 dollars is ridiculous.

You claim to be a businessman. What sort of two-bit chump would invest $95,000 dollars in something with no collateral? If you can't even come up with money to ride a bus from Pennsylvania to New York, I HIGHLY doubt you would have money for a $95,000-dollar collateral for an investment.

Papa made you a reasonable, feasible offer. You think you're such a hot shot that you can just waltz into someone's office and demand $95,000 dollars for a "porn script"? Prove it. Take him up on his offer and, to dumb it down to terms You Might understand, put your money where your mouth is. Show everyone that you've got talent worth $95,000 dollars.

I'm so fucking annoyed by this load of horseshit that I'm tempted to break decorum and close this thread and ban you for being a shithead. Ugh, now I'm cranky.

You seem a bit flustered.

 

[RichardNailder]

Put up or shut up! No need for games when $95,000 is the opening bid! I'm a professional business man, Accounting, communications, sports, and money is all I know. Women is why I show you all what a wonderful life I am building. And the offer is on motion, Brianna don't drop your lotion! let time tick, our time away as we see how easy communication is from day to day?

Let's see if the cat dragged something profitable and interesting in for the people to earn with, or will it be another hokes we have to endure from more professionals around the world?

Never hated the love I got, just hated the pain love forgot!

Let's see what's next?

You are anything but a professional.

The fact that you think any porn script is worth $95,000 proves to everyone in the business that you are a ***** at best and a fraud at worst.

Show me one successful business that you've run - show me the the business plan, the balance sheets, P&L's, business licenses and tax returns for the last 5 years - because this is EXACTLY what any investor is going to want to see before loaning you a dime.

Boy, I gave you a chance to break into the business - a better chance than most wankers get and you can't even do that so shut your face and crawl back into the sewer you belong in.

 

[DOA82]

You are anything but a professional.

The fact that you think any porn script is worth $95,000 proves to everyone in the business that you are a ***** at best and a fraud at worst.

Show me one successful business that you've run - show me the the business plan, the balance sheets, P&L's, business licenses and tax returns for the last 5 years - because this is EXACTLY what any investor is going to want to see before loaning you a dime.

Boy, I gave you a chance to break into the business - a better chance than most wankers get and you can't even do that so shut your face and crawl back into the sewer you belong in.

You know he won't, because he can't.

Anything more from this idiot proves he is just a troll and if he isn't a troll, then he is one small pathetic individual. Wait for it, you'll get a line showing disregard for reason and the cruel truth he is a nobody who is going nowhere.

I read your offer and I know I couldn't do what you ask, I can admit that happily. Prodigal Savant? Delusional jackass more like.

 

[larss]

Ye Gods!
My head hurts just trying to read JS' posts.
And he wrote a script :eek:

 

[RichardNailder]

You know he won't, because he can't.

Anything more from this idiot proves he is just a troll and if he isn't a troll, then he is one small pathetic individual. Wait for it, you'll get a line showing disregard for reason and the cruel truth he is a nobody who is going nowhere.

I read your offer and I know I couldn't do what you ask, I can admit that happily. Prodigal Savant? Delusional jackass more like.

I'm willing to bet he doesn't even know what half the documents are. :2 cents:

Ye Gods!
My head hurts just trying to read JS' posts.
And he wrote a script :eek:

Hey, it's a $95,000 script designed to get him women. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

 

[bobjustbob]

Please don't shut this thread down yet gunslingingbird. The guy wants a career in pron and came to the right place. There are the 4 legitimate offers on the table:

1. Being in a film with Sabrina Deep.
2. Papagmp has a studio set up ready to shoot scenes with him.
3. Briana Lee offered up $10,000.
4. Writing for Freeones as a site reviewer.

For his sake I hope takes some actions to move forward with all of these proposals. He could be doing everything he wants to do by the end of this year. Writing, producing, starring, and signed to a label. Let's see what his decisions are on these items.

 

[RichardNailder]

He's just like 80% of the guys that email me thinking that if they are porn talent they can get laid - sad part is there's a reason he can't get laid and that same reason is why he will never be male talent in this business.

He's an insecure, obnoxious, blowhard that has no idea about business - let alone one of the most competitive businesses in the world.

 

[xfire]

You know he won't, because he can't.

Anything more from this idiot proves he is just a troll and if he isn't a troll, then he is one small pathetic individual. Wait for it, you'll get a line showing disregard for reason and the cruel truth he is a nobody who is going nowhere.

I read your offer and I know I couldn't do what you ask, I can admit that happily. Prodigal Savant? Delusional jackass more like.

This is why DOA should be the Mod Boss. Your work is sorely missed.

 

[FreeOnes_Anders]

He's just like 80% of the guys that email me thinking that if they are porn talent they can get laid - sad part is there's a reason he can't get laid and that same reason is why he will never be male talent in this business.

He's an insecure, obnoxious, blowhard that has no idea about business - let alone one of the most competitive businesses in the world.

I´m halfway tempted to send you an email claiming to the next big star now... I just need to hack in to to Petra´s computer and send it from her email, I´m thinking a picture of Regina should do it.