Answerin' yo muthafuckin' stoopid ass questions!
1: What the fuck is wrong with you?
My mission, as I have described previously is to problematise all established social norms in order to get to the very heart of societal control –how these practises, that seem so ‘natural’, come to be a part of an established knowledge of a given society and how such knowledge establishes these subjectivities, etc. By taking it upon myself to play this delinquent I hope to engage a set of discourses that re-shape society as a whole.
Either that, or I just enjoy making shit up for the sake of it. I’ll leave that one up to the reader...
2: What's a misandrist?
I wish to smash all patriarchal oppression, one set of balls at a time.
3: Describe your values (ethics).
Dennis Parker is the one true God and the Eagle is his Prophet.
Worship him! Or I’ll cut your fucking head off!
4: Where do you live?
I live in London, with my wife and our four children. We’re currently living in my mother in laws place because of some financial difficulties we’ve been having that left us without a home, which has been difficult as you can imagine, especially since this is a one bedroom flat in which my mother in law uses the one and only bedroom as an enclosure for the several hundred snakes she breeds. Thus leaving seven of us bedding down in her living room, taking it in turns on the sofa-bed – which coincidentally is my turn tonight. Score!
5: Where are you from?
For the first 12 years of my life I was a resident of the great state of Minnesota (GO EAGLES!), where my parents and I lived on a small farm. The land was stark and it was incredibly cold during the winter. The kind of cold that you could feel right down to the bone, the kind that sticks with you and gives you a hardened outlook on the world. Something I still carry with me to this day, even though it was only a part of my life for a relatively short period of time. My father thought of himself a revolutionary, a revolutionary of the Trotskyist persuasion and like all Trots, he was a complete fucking moron. Rather than attempting to start a revolution at home, he decided to up sticks and leave behind the modes of capitalist oppression in the US by moving our entire family to the London of the 1980s and Mrs Thatcher, where I and my family have lived ever since. It was here that my parents eventually split, my mother re-married well and remains comfortable to this day and my father found his true calling and eventually becoming the economics editor of The Spectator, before dying of AIDs related complications in 1987 after an 'encounter' with one of the walking dead in a local public rest room.
6: Guns don't kill people, rappers do. Right?
...sound of the police, woo, woo, woo.
No, of course they kill people. They just don’t kill the right people - with a few notable exceptions. In case you’re wondering, the right kind of people are those who actively seek any kind of political office. Scum!
7: Ever flown a kite?
Once, as a boy. It’s difficult to talk about though because that was also the day that I got molested. I remember it being overcast that day. That’s pretty much it.
8: What the fuck is wrong with me?
You have a small penis and you compensate for that fact by attention whoring on the internet. You’re pathetic and I hope you die.
Also, your sense of aesthetics leaves a lot to be desired.