ever sustain a sexual INJURY?
- Thread starter squallumz
- Start date
Not sure what you mean dude.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
One time, I was sitting up in my room and I began to get thirsty for a drink. So, I got up and started heading downstairs to the kitchen so I could get some 2nd rate Dr. Pepper rip-off...Dr. Thunder. As I was making my way towards the stairwell, my penis started throbbing with lust. "Gee whiz", I thought, "my weiner is getting feisty!!! I'd better give him some attention."
So, I pulled my penis out of my sweatpants and began wiggling it back and forth like a dead fish. But, I forgot to be careful of the sweatpants, which were now around my ankles. I took one step down the stairwell and completely bit it. I tumbled down every single step, flopping and turning with each stair.
But, I was a persistent little SOB. I always finish what I start, so I didn't give up on the jerking. As my body made bone-chilling impact with stair after stair after stair, I continued to tug my junk like it was going out of style. When I was about half way down the flight of stairs (there were 36 stairs, I believe), I started to get close. "Here we GOOO!!!", I thought to myself, and just as I began to orgasm, something terrible happened...my mom opened the door to the staircase and stood in awe at the bottom of the stairwell. WELP, by this time, it was too late to stop. I was at the point of no return.
So, with my body still performing a painful circus act as I made my way down the stairs, my cock started throbbing with orgasmic pressure and began to send a white creamy message to the surrounding world. The walls, the ceiling, the hand rail, my sweatpants, my chin...my MOM...all completely covered in the Spooge du Jour.
As I finally hit the bottom stair and came to rest on the floor, I realized the seriousness of what just happened. I lay on the floor, face up, staring my semen covered mother directly in the face. We awkwardly stared at eachother for quite a few uncomfortable moments, but then the silence was broken as my mother ripped an incredible, 30 second, epic-style fart. Then, as the smell of rancid death filled the room, we began laaaaaughing and laaaaaughing...
And then cheesy sitcom music hit and the credits rolled. Which was the weirdest part about the story, because our real life had theme music and credits.
What an odd day.
So, I pulled my penis out of my sweatpants and began wiggling it back and forth like a dead fish. But, I forgot to be careful of the sweatpants, which were now around my ankles. I took one step down the stairwell and completely bit it. I tumbled down every single step, flopping and turning with each stair.
But, I was a persistent little SOB. I always finish what I start, so I didn't give up on the jerking. As my body made bone-chilling impact with stair after stair after stair, I continued to tug my junk like it was going out of style. When I was about half way down the flight of stairs (there were 36 stairs, I believe), I started to get close. "Here we GOOO!!!", I thought to myself, and just as I began to orgasm, something terrible happened...my mom opened the door to the staircase and stood in awe at the bottom of the stairwell. WELP, by this time, it was too late to stop. I was at the point of no return.
So, with my body still performing a painful circus act as I made my way down the stairs, my cock started throbbing with orgasmic pressure and began to send a white creamy message to the surrounding world. The walls, the ceiling, the hand rail, my sweatpants, my chin...my MOM...all completely covered in the Spooge du Jour.
As I finally hit the bottom stair and came to rest on the floor, I realized the seriousness of what just happened. I lay on the floor, face up, staring my semen covered mother directly in the face. We awkwardly stared at eachother for quite a few uncomfortable moments, but then the silence was broken as my mother ripped an incredible, 30 second, epic-style fart. Then, as the smell of rancid death filled the room, we began laaaaaughing and laaaaaughing...
And then cheesy sitcom music hit and the credits rolled. Which was the weirdest part about the story, because our real life had theme music and credits.
What an odd day.
Dude, once upon a time, there was a former FreeOnes member [D. Fox/foxi******] who would regale us with his open sexual adventures very similar to the gem you so enthusiastically posted yesterday. Which your story reminded me of him. That's all.
:hatsoff:
Carry on.
:spump:
