No I haven't and honestly I've never had any interest in it. I like my sex one on one.
I have always been that way too. I had only one 3-way with 2 women, and I hated it. I wasn't as open and mature enough to deal with it, and worried I was showing preference. It's weird, but I have this issue -- I just don't want more than one woman with me, and will definitely be that way, always.
At the same time, I know I would have no such jealousy if my wife ever wanted a second male lover in with us. I love her and cherish her enough to have no issue with it. And I have no interest in reciprocation. This isn't about "fair," it's about "love" -- and besides, I really can't stand the thought of another woman than my wife, even if my wife was there.
I have never had sex just for the sake of having sex. All in all, me being there requires feelings for my partner and the intimacy that makes a good love making/ fucking session what it should be. Sharing. giving, bonding and becoming spiritually one in the end.
Now that I'm married, I agree with you. The completeness is unbelievable. I really get off on monogamy, and I always will. I like the comfort -- at the same time, we keep it "fresh."
But before I was married, I'd disagree. Had I never met my love, I probably would still cheerish love making with random women, some who became friends. Should my wife leave me, and no matter how many times I tried to get her back, I would probably go back to it eventually. If I became a widower, I don't know what I'd do -- it's the scenario I don't like to think about.
But I don't see anything wrong with people who enjoy (responsible) sex from engaging in it with people they don't know well. In fact, I wish society did it far more. I enjoyed it very much before I was married, because I took the attitude that it was part of the fun. I tried to avoid women who didn't realize that -- because it would be too much for them to handle. And that's fine, they really didn't want it.
I guess the key point is too many young men and women focus on "what they aren't getting." Young men and women should focus on "enjoying what they have," but ONLY what they feel comfortable with. Save everything else for a more dedicated lover. God knows men and women harm each (emotionally and somtimes physically) other because of their naivity, immaturity and countless other, deep and erratic emotions when they are new, uncontrolled and otherwise unchecked. If you have maturity, control and understanding, then it's not an issue.
One thing I understood from the moment I started dating was that I would
never pressure anyone into what they didn't want to do. Even to this day, I won't even make love to my wife when she has a little bit of alcohol. People say I don't need to worry. But the reality is that I really don't want someone who doesn't consciencely want me at that moment. Same deal when I was young.
I wish parents and teachers would teach this instead of other non-sense, like "you're not ready" or countless other things. It's about knowing what you can and can't deal with more than anything.
I give my "all" to my partner always and having more than one would be spreading myself thin I feel. He wouldn't be getting the true benefits of my talents if he had to share now "Would he?"
That's the key. You should
only spread yourself thin with partners you can feel comfortable with. That's what kept me from having intercourse and many other things before I met my wife. I also avoided receiving oral sex because it made my very vunerable (and my wife is the same when she receives it, more than even myself).
hmm i could not say it any better..
i prefer sex with feelings a thousand times more than just sex..intimacy passion..
and if you swing in my eyes you dont love your partner if you can go and fuck another or let him/her do it with another...
In your eyes for only yourself I hope.
Understand many swingers are
very deeply in love with their partner. The fact that they swing does not change their relationship, the understanding, the other things. Their love is no less "pure" than my completely monogamous marriage.
Swinging can cause some problems among couples.
Actually, it really just uncovers problems that are there faster than others.
The demand for her lines outside the door and her husband was bored and did not want to fuck the ugly, older women and just watch and became very jealous her wife was banged by 10-15 guys a night.
And what was at fault there? The swinging? Or the feelings? If people can't hold their feelings true or deal with situations, then they can't handle swinging. Then they shouldn't. But swinging isn't the culprit.
She was divorced last year and found another man and they quitted swinging ! Learn a hard lessons.
Not so much "lessons," but exposure of what was really at the foundation of their relationship. Would they have divorced if they didn't swing? Why didn't she come back to him instead of going to another man?
Sounds like he changed, because swinging exposed issues he had. I had to be a hard-case, but if he still blames the swinging, it sounds like he didn't really know himself before he did.
Our Swing Club do admit "Single Men" on Fridays for a special fee and you can ask ladies to participate but the VIP room requires a high premium fee for Single Men !
i don't swing with my girlfriend.... but am willing to join others when i don't have a girl going
Although people vary, swinging is more compatible between couples because there is a level of appreciation for the relationship. That doesn't mean single men don't. And there are married men who enjoy seeing their wife make love to others.
But anyone who enjoys swinging when single but would not share their lover when they are not should get to know themselves a little better. It's not about wrong, but about what makes you compatible as well as tolerant of your lovers.
