Deep Into The Complex Mind Of Stan Scratch

[StanScratch]

I enjoy cooking.
I had some chicken left over from earlier in the week and decided to make the best of it - a burrito. So, I grabbed a Tomatillo and a jalapeno pepper and made myself a very tasty little mouth burner. Sure, it was quite hot - but, it was also quite good.
Mind you, I cut the jalapeno myself into tiny bits, handling it with my bare hands several times. No biggy.
Flash forward to a few hours later. It is getting late. Bed time is nearing. So, it is time for that nightly ritual I use to help myself get tired and get to sleep: I get frisky with myself.
Let me remind you again, I still had jalapeno juice on my hands, despite a quick wash earlier.
Jalapeno juice + my dick = a very hot dick. Very hot dick.
However, I was man enough to finish the job. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to stick my dick out the window into the freezing cold (NOTE: this is not because of the jalapeno sauce. Just another nightly ritual).

 

[Shifty]

^^ Nice. That is certainly complex.

... do you want some peanuts?

 

[drf]

Thanks for sharing. It was a riveting and well-told story!

 

[shayd]

I enjoy cooking.
I had some chicken left over from earlier in the week and decided to make the best of it - a burrito. So, I grabbed a Tomatillo and a jalapeno pepper and made myself a very tasty little mouth burner. Sure, it was quite hot - but, it was also quite good.
Mind you, I cut the jalapeno myself into tiny bits, handling it with my bare hands several times. No biggy.
Flash forward to a few hours later. It is getting late. Bed time is nearing. So, it is time for that nightly ritual I use to help myself get tired and get to sleep: I get frisky with myself.
Let me remind you again, I still had jalapeno juice on my hands, despite a quick wash earlier.
Jalapeno juice + my dick = a very hot dick. Very hot dick.
However, I was man enough to finish the job. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to stick my dick out the window into the freezing cold (NOTE: this is not because of the jalapeno sauce. Just another nightly ritual).

Pulled the old flaming ring of dick, did you? :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

 

[dp93]

agreed, very complex mind you have

 

[lurkingdirk]

While I'd like to mock you, this very thing may have happened to me once.

Turns out donkey saliva takes the burning away.

 

[feller469]

I smell an HBO mini-series

 

[BlueBalls]

I smell an HBO mini-series

No that's just Stan's cock.

Don't feel ashamed about it though, I fell for it once. But what can you do, once you've got your finger up "HBOs" ass and their balls are flapping against your chin there's really no turning back at that point.

 

[feller469]

No that's just Stan's cock.

Don't feel ashamed about it though, I fell for it once. But what can you do, once you've got your finger up "HBOs" ass and their balls are flapping against your chin there's really no turning back at that point.

so it is a musical, with a rusty trombone?

 

[~~whimsy~~]

I enjoy cooking.
I had some chicken left over from earlier in the week and decided to make the best of it - a burrito. So, I grabbed a Tomatillo and a jalapeno pepper and made myself a very tasty little mouth burner. Sure, it was quite hot - but, it was also quite good.

In other words, you found a handsome guy at work who was all into house repairs, renovation, and outdoors work. You wanted to blow him, at least. So, because you enjoy cocking. Had some chicken left over, in other words, KY jelly, you decided to give him the handjob/blowjob of the century!

It was HOT! You loved it! Every bit of it. Tasted good; felt good; couldn't get enough of it.

Mind you, I cut the jalapeno myself into tiny bits, handling it with my bare hands several times. No biggy.

You felt every inch of him up. His hot, sweaty, sexy penis. No big deal. You done this many times before. So freaking hot! You dirty whore!

Flash forward to a few hours later. It is getting late. Bed time is nearing. So, it is time for that nightly ritual I use to help myself get tired and get to sleep: I get frisky with myself.
Let me remind you again, I still had jalapeno juice on my hands, despite a quick wash earlier.

Oh! DAMN! He's long gone, I'm getting ready for bed, to masturbate thinking about earlier in the day where you gave a guy the time of his life. And yours. You dirty little bitch!

Thing is, something is burning.... OMG!

He had a STD! It BURNSSSSsssssss!

ALL OVER MY HANDS! But I washed my hands afterward...

Jalapeno juice + my dick = a very hot dick. Very hot dick.
However, I was man enough to finish the job. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to stick my dick out the window into the freezing cold (NOTE: this is not because of the jalapeno sauce. Just another nightly ritual).

It burns so much. I caught a STD once again by giving some random guy a HJ and BJ. No masturbating tonight. I went to the doctor for penicillin. Again.

When will I ever learn? Damn my sluttiness!

I'm a fucking slut! I, StanScratch, should be named StanSluttyScratch!

What can I say? I'm a sucker for men who know how to work with their hands. That's why I work at a home improvement store.


Call me~~~




And that is the TRUTH behind this whole thread.

Because I was that guy. :shy:

Did you like the STD, bitch!?

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Amateur. To have a truly memorable experience with the "Pepper Jack" you should try it with a ghost chili.

 

[roronoa3000]

You are a simple-minded fool!

 

[titsrock]

What would Kobe do? :dunno:

I think you should have peeped through the keyhole of your neighbor. That fat trucker whose farts you hear through the paper thin walls, that would've helped alleviate your pain...

 

[Elektra Knight]

Eventually you will have to worry about a burning sensation in another orifice. I'm Just Saying. :dunno:

 

[Supafly]

Elektra Knight[/URL][/B], post: 5022801, member: 376878"]Eventually you will have to worry about a burning sensation in another orifice. I'm Just Saying. :dunno:

That old 'Burning Ring of Fire' :1orglaugh

 

[Elektra Knight]

That old 'Burning Ring of Fire' :1orglaugh

Yeaaap! :Flame:

 

[vodkazvictim]

Stan... I'm impressed and amused.

 

[STDiva]

What would Kobe do? :dunno:

I think you should have peeped through the keyhole of your neighbor. That fat trucker whose farts you hear through the paper thin walls, that would've helped alleviate your pain...

Kobe would win his regular season debut.

This happened to me once. It's not pain...but it is certainly uncomfortable. I also rubbed my eye. Much more painful than the dong.

 

[LukeEl]

Thank god you don't like ghost chilli's or harbeneros.

 

[316sherm]

:rofl2: