Dear *** letter...brilliant.

tartanterrier

Is somewhere outhere.
A ****** passing by his ***'s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an
envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,
"***."
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.
"Dear, ***.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid
a scene with *** and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy,
and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because
of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because
she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, ***.
She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter.
We share a ***** of having many more ********. Stacy has opened my eyes
to the fact that ********* doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing
it for
ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for
all the ******* and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that
science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure
deserves it!!
Don't worry ***, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
many grandchildren.

Love, your ***, John.


P.S. ***, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
school report that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe for
me to come home.
 

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