Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."
==========
Wife: "Do you want dinner?"
Husband: "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife: "Yes and no."
==========
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"
==========
Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
==========
***: "***, when I was on the bus with *** this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
***: "Well, you have done the right thing."
***: "But ***, I was sitting on *****'s lap."
=============
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my ****** hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!!"
===========
****** to *** after exam: "Let me see your report card."
***: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
==============
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."
=============
AND NOW THE BEST ONE!
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."
==========
Wife: "Do you want dinner?"
Husband: "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife: "Yes and no."
==========
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"
==========
Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
==========
***: "***, when I was on the bus with *** this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
***: "Well, you have done the right thing."
***: "But ***, I was sitting on *****'s lap."
=============
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my ****** hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!!"
===========
****** to *** after exam: "Let me see your report card."
***: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
==============
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."
=============
AND NOW THE BEST ONE!
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."
