Crushes are for Wimps

[KDXXX]

Am I right? Everytime I had a crush on a girl it was because I was too much of a wuss to put it out there that I liked her. Have you ever had a crush on someone then regretted for a long time that you didn't speak up to at least try to pursue something? It was usually because she was so attractive that I didn't think I was in her league.

Which brings me to my next question. How do so many stunningly attractive women get asked to be in porn? I know that looks aren't everything, and a lot of them start out as strippers or models then work their way into the business where the money is more and comes quickly. I just get the feeling that if I walked up to some hottie and asked her to pose nude for me to post her pics on the internet for all to see that I will get more than rejected. Is this just me being insecure again just like with the crushes? FYI I'm madly in love with the wife so no more crushes:nanner:

 

[tartanterrier]

No.If you provide them with information and say who are,then you never know.But as you say - you just need the balls to do it

 

[anomaly]

Learning to approach a woman is a skill one has to learn like driving. Once a guy has gained this ability he will not have any more crushes. Crushes are not so much a sign of insecurity as they are sign of inability. As humans we are often reluctant to participate things we do not do well. Learn how to talk to women, it's easy, they are just people.

 

[l.t.21378]

Learning to approach a woman is a skill one has to learn like driving. Once a guy has gained this ability he will not have any more crushes. Crushes are not so much a sign of insecurity as they are sign of inability.

That has "ME" written all over it, sorry to say and admit.

 

[anomaly]

That has "ME" written all over it, sorry to say and admit.

You should feel good that you are able to admit that. I know men in their forties and fifties that are still clueless on how to pickup a woman. Take the time to learn and don't feel bad if you don't get it perfect right away.:thumbsup:

 

[l.t.21378]

You should feel good that you are able to admit that. I know men in their forties and fifties that are still clueless on how to pickup a woman. Take the time to learn and don't feel bad if you don't get it perfect right away.:thumbsup:

I hear you there man, my problem is a succumbed
to alot of peer pressure when I was younger because I din't look good enough due to my acne or that I was too quiet. Most woman just tend to either look away or look down when I see them.

I don't know, something has to give.

 

[anomaly]

I hear you there man, my problem is a succumbed
to alot of peer pressure when I was younger because I din't look good enough due to my acne or that I was too quiet. Most woman just tend to either look away or look down when I see them.

I don't know, something has to give.

You have to start approaching women.......that is what has to give. There are many methods to picking women. Find the book that helps you, preferably one that was written by a man and does not involve kissing the woman's ass to gain favor with her. I know it feels terrible to be rejected but as the saying goes you have crawl before you walk. Learn from your failures and you will soon be having all the ladies you want. It seems almost impossible now but it will seem fairly easy once you get over your initial fear. :yinyang:

 

[McNab]

I've had a crush on a woman for 8 years, but I won't approach her (she's the manageress of my local Blockbusters).

 

[senob44]

I'm a pretty confident guy (have to be confident the way I post on this board) and I only remember having one crush that I never took action on. And even that was because she was always in a relationship. Also, I still have crushes now to an extent, but I don't act on them because I have my fiancee.

Aside from that, what I'd like to say is that I believe confidence is the number 1 thing that makes a man attractive. If you approach a woman as if you already consider her a good friend, that will help a lot. Don't go up with a swagger or be cocky or anything like that, but act as if you know her already and just start a conversation. You don't need any sort of special line or anything, just take your material from something you have in common, such as discussing whatever place you are in. It's easier said than done, I know, but keep in mind most women go for men with outgoing personalities, whether they are funny, happy, adventurous, etc.

Bottom line is: If you have a crush (and you're single) then go for it. You'll feel worse if you never took a chance on her than if you tried and failed. Failure in asking women out is just more experience to chalk up, but if you never take the chance, well then I feel you failed yourself. And to live with that may be much worse.

 

[BNF]

Crushes are nice because they are usually temporary. It's a good way to tell yourself "hold back". Crushes are fun because the have that secrecy, one sided, pulse racing effect.

There have been opposite situations where I had to speak to her and pick her up. Knowing the difference of when you should act is crucial.

 

[KDXXX]

I heard about the confidence thing. That's why my brother can't shake women off of him. His key - ignore them. I know that sounds cruel, but his amo is don't act like you're wow'ed by their beauty and they will treat you like a forbidden fruit and pursue you (of course that only works when they see you as attractive or confident as oppose to ignoring them because you don't think you have a shot).

BNF I wish I agreed that they are nice. Crushes are an internal battle where one minute you tell yourself to go for it because you deserve it and the next minute you talk yourself out of it because you suck. Meanwhile she slips away leaving you to the company of your feuding thoughts, and all you can do is convince yourself that the scar of rejection would have been a deeper scar than the sickness of a lost opportunity.


Ooh Boy you looking like you like what you seein boy
Won't you come over check up on it, I'ma let you work up on it
Ladies let em check up on it, watch it while he check up on it
Dip it, pop it, twerk it, stop it, check on me tonight Beyonce "Check Up On It"

 

[l.t.21378]

I heard about the confidence thing. That's why my brother can't shake women off of him. His key - ignore them. I know that sounds cruel, but his amo is don't act like you're wow'ed by their beauty and they will treat you like a forbidden fruit and pursue you (of course that only works when they see you as attractive or confident as oppose to ignoring them because you don't think you have a shot).

BNF I wish I agreed that they are nice. Crushes are an internal battle where one minute you tell yourself to go for it because you deserve it and the next minute you talk yourself out of it because you suck. Meanwhile she slips away leaving you to the company of your feuding thoughts, and all you can do is convince yourself that the scar of rejection would have been a deeper scar than the sickness of a lost opportunity.


Ooh Boy you looking like you like what you seein boy
Won't you come over check up on it, I'ma let you work up on it
Ladies let em check up on it, watch it while he check up on it
Dip it, pop it, twerk it, stop it, check on me tonight Beyonce "Check Up On It"

Kind of like me

 

[KDXXX]

Kind of like me

You mean you're like my brother or you're that second person I described that let it all slip away?

 

[MRPIMPN4EVA]

Agrees with threadstarter...

 

[l.t.21378]

You mean you're like my brother or you're that second person I described that let it all slip away?

Yeah well, it's interesting most of the time I approach a girl they tend to look away. (considering the way I look) My luck it's either they're not interested or they're already involved with someone. Never the other way.

 

[pathfinder]

Is it possible to have a crush on someone [else] when you're married/in a relationship... because if so then I'd have to say being a wimp is probably the best option you can go with.

 

[KDXXX]

Is it possible to have a crush on someone [else] when you're married/in a relationship... because if so then I'd have to say being a wimp is probably the best option you can go with.

That's more like an infactuation. It happens, but a crush is more like a temptation to follow through stumped by your own insecurities or by her lack of availability because she's dating or married. The latter is easier to deal with, but it's the ones where the only thing that's stopping you is you that are the worst.

 

[SN4P3]

i had a crush on this girl for about a year, i finally asked her out (this was like 3 years ago), she told me that she wasn't really into going on dates yet cause some personal issues she had or whatever (she could have been lying)...either way, i got shot down.

but i can honestly say, i would have regrets if i never asked her out and had to live with the "what if she said yes" replaying in my head. i got shot down, but i got shot down asking her the question, which i can see now, was more important.

so any young guns out there...go for it. you don't want to live your life with regrets. you either ask her out and she says no and you don't go out, or you don't do anything and you don't go out with her. might as well take the chance.

 

[pancha]

so any young guns out there...go for it. you don't want to live your life with regrets. you either ask her out and she says no and you don't go out, or you don't do anything and you don't go out with her. might as well take the chance.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[maildude]

It's all about self-confidence and overcoming fear. Like the first time I sky-dived. After that it was nothing. Except I'd rather be turned down by a chick than splattered all over the ground.