Re: carmen of camwithher.com
amazing! can hardly wait :wave:
amazing! can hardly wait :wave:
Cam With Carmen / Carmen Bella / Maria Bella / The Maria Bella
- Thread starter bob321
- Start date
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
DISCLAIMER
The following contains tasteless humor. If you have disliked prior examples of this disgusting filth stop reading now. Otherwise, your risk. By assuming risk you forfeit the right to cry, hate or grizzle. Sensitive clean-minded folks of prickly religious persuasion and those who do not enjoy the more gross juvenile aspects of human sexual jokeware should desist. If uncertain ring mom.
APOLOGIES FIRST
Carmen. I don't think I owe you an apology. If I do I sincerely do. Hurting or offending you is ever distant from my heart. I try to amuse.
Abbie. You are owed the big genuine one. Jokes at the expense of others are cowardly and tasteless. I will not re-offend.
Petra. I apologize for annoying you and wasting your time. I am a true Carmen fan. Mostly I've contributed creatively, humorously and with generosity of spirit.
Dear Miss Carmen
Herewith a seasonal and birthday gift and a warm hand on your opening for when you open your site. You have been neglected of late. To compensate I offer:
CARMEN'S CHRISTIAN CHOIR ROAD TRIP
I'm putting together a carnal bus trip choral society to sing through the South. It's the only region we'll blend in without getting shot. If you have a singing voice or just enjoy behaving badly you are welcome to join the choir. A large donation of booze or substances will get you through the audition process. My name is Dr Hugh Gee Rection and I'm a pox doctor by trade. I was born Tiny Small but changed my name after escaping my parents. Drunk blind women don't even know I've been donkey deep although some do notice the draft and the thigh pressure. They're in it for the skin. It's a narrow field to plow but it's mine. I am profoundly disturbed and uniquely well placed to put this gig together aiming as I am for Christian family entertainment. More of me later.
Eye-bleedingly obvious is that Carmen will be the star. A celibate, all singing, all dancing, Carmelite nun straight from the Sound Of Music with jeans creaming chest bellows and a skimpy habit! Ask yourself. A license to print. I hope Carmen's mom will agree to chaperone. That way, when Carmen goes off the reservation, I can get mom drunk and try to partially fill the aching childless emptiness crying out within her and maybe go for the grope if it's on. No disrespect intended. Just an over-active imagination. For the duration we hope our star will protect her larynx no matter how man hungry she gets.
Should Carmen approach you she is probably mistaken. If not, it could be the day. Throw yourself at her feet, grovel, snivel and prepare to beg. Ascertain what she wants. Provide it. Pretend to ignore the dairy by fixing your gaze on her peepers. Hide your boner and spreading dew drop unless she shows interest. Then dump load one in your pants and hope to complete her with number two. That's as far as I can take you. Whatever happens next your life will have peaked. Tell your grandchildren. They won't believe you. Nor will anyone else. Gentlemen shouldn't tell, anyway.
A highlight of the show will be the Catholic castrati choirboys. We have engaged defrocked choirmaster Father Dick Littleboys to conduct. His chaperone will be Sister Mary Mustn't Touch It. She will be our organist and is a compulsive worshipper at the temple of Onan. The Pope has asked her to wear discreet restraints when not at the organ. No religion jokes please. Unless you want them.
Violet and Gisele will sing naked back-up to Sister Carmen to pull in the perverts, cover the seamier side of the street and flesh out the overall Christian choral presentation. Their principal off-stage role will be to ensure that no back-up remains in the audience and particularly on the bus. Theirs will be a long hard messy job and I expect good queuing behavior unless you can't wait.
The support staff deserve a mention. If we make the news we will get an attention whore visit from the slutty air hostess. She will tea bag anyone who wants to drop his balls into a hairdo with glasses. Not for me but we're a broad church and will be a moving violation by that stage. On the subject of which, Jumpy, our driver, short of an eye and an arm is a George Bush veteran crazed with PTSD. If your mom doesn't like the sound of him tell her that the real worry is what he's doing with his good arm. Our back-up driver will be Daisy. Abbie will be our treasurer. As soon as we can afford it I want an aquarium and an airport scanner. Daisy can keep the dirtier type of bastard away from the fish. I'll be hiring out exploding undies that don't work but make your dick look big in the scanner. Again, good queuing behavior unless you can't manage it. Petra will be our patron, moral guide and umpire. The roadies will travel behind by van to stop them defiling the women and rendering pointless the trip. Nurse Wanda Farkmee is a busty gin-soaked nympho who will treat sexual injuries. You'll have to time your approach if you've got an aching lesion. Otherwise, should you get caught, chafing aside, she'll give you a top root. I'm not sure about her nursing qualifications but she's guaranteed to crack hearty in the choir and will flash her tits for anyone. Our singing dentist will be Doctor Phil McCavity. Be warned that he will not perform complete dental removals for women under the age of consent. Our tenor OBGYN will be Doctor Upty Cunlook. He will be doing much yodelling up the valley, especially with Daisy and Carmen's mom, much to my dismay. There will be a raffle each day to see who gets to hand wash Carmen's smalls. I will have amazing luck. You will be gracious.
Sex toys are to be returned clean and in good order. If I find so much as a tomato seed on the enema I'll ring your mom and put you in the roadie van until she decides what to do with you. Unless you'd prefer otherwise, of course. No loving in the can unless you want to. No getting up someone else's ride unless you feel like it. There'll be zero tolerance for coveting Daisy or Carmen's mom unless you can't help yourself. Don't make a mess unless you feel like it. Try to keep the man batter in the girl, on the girl, in the latex or wherever you fancy. Groupies are not allowed aboard until all female choristers have been thoroughly reamed and creamed. If a choir girl in need is your sister you can queue jump a groupie depending on the dictates of your family culture. Be considerate of others unless it would queer your fun. Mind-altering substances are strictly forbidden unless you want them. We will require notes from your mom, your sister, your partner, your venereologist, and your scoutmaster. We will not tolerate disgraceful overdoses of fun that could damage Carmen's reputation or embarrass her in the eyes of God. He's a big fan. She's some of his finest work. You will be required to provide written informed consent before departure and a "what i did on my trip" essay before you go home. Boys and men are to bring two clean handkerchiefs and a spare pair of y-fronts. Women are unrestricted in the personal hygiene department due to their chronic reliability in such matters. If you have any personal private concerns take them up with Daisy Small. She's like a sister to me.
DISCLAIMER
The following contains tasteless humor. If you have disliked prior examples of this disgusting filth stop reading now. Otherwise, your risk. By assuming risk you forfeit the right to cry, hate or grizzle. Sensitive clean-minded folks of prickly religious persuasion and those who do not enjoy the more gross juvenile aspects of human sexual jokeware should desist. If uncertain ring mom.
APOLOGIES FIRST
Carmen. I don't think I owe you an apology. If I do I sincerely do. Hurting or offending you is ever distant from my heart. I try to amuse.
Abbie. You are owed the big genuine one. Jokes at the expense of others are cowardly and tasteless. I will not re-offend.
Petra. I apologize for annoying you and wasting your time. I am a true Carmen fan. Mostly I've contributed creatively, humorously and with generosity of spirit.
Dear Miss Carmen
Herewith a seasonal and birthday gift and a warm hand on your opening for when you open your site. You have been neglected of late. To compensate I offer:
CARMEN'S CHRISTIAN CHOIR ROAD TRIP
I'm putting together a carnal bus trip choral society to sing through the South. It's the only region we'll blend in without getting shot. If you have a singing voice or just enjoy behaving badly you are welcome to join the choir. A large donation of booze or substances will get you through the audition process. My name is Dr Hugh Gee Rection and I'm a pox doctor by trade. I was born Tiny Small but changed my name after escaping my parents. Drunk blind women don't even know I've been donkey deep although some do notice the draft and the thigh pressure. They're in it for the skin. It's a narrow field to plow but it's mine. I am profoundly disturbed and uniquely well placed to put this gig together aiming as I am for Christian family entertainment. More of me later.
Eye-bleedingly obvious is that Carmen will be the star. A celibate, all singing, all dancing, Carmelite nun straight from the Sound Of Music with jeans creaming chest bellows and a skimpy habit! Ask yourself. A license to print. I hope Carmen's mom will agree to chaperone. That way, when Carmen goes off the reservation, I can get mom drunk and try to partially fill the aching childless emptiness crying out within her and maybe go for the grope if it's on. No disrespect intended. Just an over-active imagination. For the duration we hope our star will protect her larynx no matter how man hungry she gets.
Should Carmen approach you she is probably mistaken. If not, it could be the day. Throw yourself at her feet, grovel, snivel and prepare to beg. Ascertain what she wants. Provide it. Pretend to ignore the dairy by fixing your gaze on her peepers. Hide your boner and spreading dew drop unless she shows interest. Then dump load one in your pants and hope to complete her with number two. That's as far as I can take you. Whatever happens next your life will have peaked. Tell your grandchildren. They won't believe you. Nor will anyone else. Gentlemen shouldn't tell, anyway.
A highlight of the show will be the Catholic castrati choirboys. We have engaged defrocked choirmaster Father Dick Littleboys to conduct. His chaperone will be Sister Mary Mustn't Touch It. She will be our organist and is a compulsive worshipper at the temple of Onan. The Pope has asked her to wear discreet restraints when not at the organ. No religion jokes please. Unless you want them.
Violet and Gisele will sing naked back-up to Sister Carmen to pull in the perverts, cover the seamier side of the street and flesh out the overall Christian choral presentation. Their principal off-stage role will be to ensure that no back-up remains in the audience and particularly on the bus. Theirs will be a long hard messy job and I expect good queuing behavior unless you can't wait.
The support staff deserve a mention. If we make the news we will get an attention whore visit from the slutty air hostess. She will tea bag anyone who wants to drop his balls into a hairdo with glasses. Not for me but we're a broad church and will be a moving violation by that stage. On the subject of which, Jumpy, our driver, short of an eye and an arm is a George Bush veteran crazed with PTSD. If your mom doesn't like the sound of him tell her that the real worry is what he's doing with his good arm. Our back-up driver will be Daisy. Abbie will be our treasurer. As soon as we can afford it I want an aquarium and an airport scanner. Daisy can keep the dirtier type of bastard away from the fish. I'll be hiring out exploding undies that don't work but make your dick look big in the scanner. Again, good queuing behavior unless you can't manage it. Petra will be our patron, moral guide and umpire. The roadies will travel behind by van to stop them defiling the women and rendering pointless the trip. Nurse Wanda Farkmee is a busty gin-soaked nympho who will treat sexual injuries. You'll have to time your approach if you've got an aching lesion. Otherwise, should you get caught, chafing aside, she'll give you a top root. I'm not sure about her nursing qualifications but she's guaranteed to crack hearty in the choir and will flash her tits for anyone. Our singing dentist will be Doctor Phil McCavity. Be warned that he will not perform complete dental removals for women under the age of consent. Our tenor OBGYN will be Doctor Upty Cunlook. He will be doing much yodelling up the valley, especially with Daisy and Carmen's mom, much to my dismay. There will be a raffle each day to see who gets to hand wash Carmen's smalls. I will have amazing luck. You will be gracious.
Sex toys are to be returned clean and in good order. If I find so much as a tomato seed on the enema I'll ring your mom and put you in the roadie van until she decides what to do with you. Unless you'd prefer otherwise, of course. No loving in the can unless you want to. No getting up someone else's ride unless you feel like it. There'll be zero tolerance for coveting Daisy or Carmen's mom unless you can't help yourself. Don't make a mess unless you feel like it. Try to keep the man batter in the girl, on the girl, in the latex or wherever you fancy. Groupies are not allowed aboard until all female choristers have been thoroughly reamed and creamed. If a choir girl in need is your sister you can queue jump a groupie depending on the dictates of your family culture. Be considerate of others unless it would queer your fun. Mind-altering substances are strictly forbidden unless you want them. We will require notes from your mom, your sister, your partner, your venereologist, and your scoutmaster. We will not tolerate disgraceful overdoses of fun that could damage Carmen's reputation or embarrass her in the eyes of God. He's a big fan. She's some of his finest work. You will be required to provide written informed consent before departure and a "what i did on my trip" essay before you go home. Boys and men are to bring two clean handkerchiefs and a spare pair of y-fronts. Women are unrestricted in the personal hygiene department due to their chronic reliability in such matters. If you have any personal private concerns take them up with Daisy Small. She's like a sister to me.
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
is there a way to ignore specific peoples posts?
(this is a serious question)
is there a way to ignore specific peoples posts?
(this is a serious question)
jitna
Eternally hoping to lick Briana
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
User control panel. Put them on your ignore list.
I gotta feeling I know who.:rofl:
User control panel. Put them on your ignore list.
I gotta feeling I know who.:rofl:
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
oh thanks so much, i couldn't take any more, it really was wrecking the thread
oh thanks so much, i couldn't take any more, it really was wrecking the thread
tunafish
Banned
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
I put him on my ignore list as well... Ridiculous.
I put him on my ignore list as well... Ridiculous.
Eastcoast1
Banned
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
Let me just say how I feel, truly and deeply, with generosity of spirit and feelings of warmth and tidings of greetings etc.
JEEEEEZZZZZ!!!!!! CARMEN IS SO HOT!!! SERIOUSLY!!!
WTF? I FEEL LIKE SHE WAS MADE IN SOME KIND OF "WEIRD SCIENCE" LAB! HOW PRETTY CAN A GIRL EVEN BE???
those are my true emotions right there.
Let me just say how I feel, truly and deeply, with generosity of spirit and feelings of warmth and tidings of greetings etc.
JEEEEEZZZZZ!!!!!! CARMEN IS SO HOT!!! SERIOUSLY!!!
WTF? I FEEL LIKE SHE WAS MADE IN SOME KIND OF "WEIRD SCIENCE" LAB! HOW PRETTY CAN A GIRL EVEN BE???
those are my true emotions right there.
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
yeah he started making me want to stop even looking and following the thread
yeah he started making me want to stop even looking and following the thread
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
Hating and grizzling. You didn't have to read his crap. I didn't. The disclaimer was detailed and specific and stopped me right there.
Hating and grizzling. You didn't have to read his crap. I didn't. The disclaimer was detailed and specific and stopped me right there.
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
I know im not talking about 1 message, he psots a lot i just dont wanna keep seeing it, sounds like others put him on iggy also
I know im not talking about 1 message, he psots a lot i just dont wanna keep seeing it, sounds like others put him on iggy also
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
Grate to have hooked up bud. Reading his crap used to give me shooting pains in the ass and major panic attacks. Did you get stuff like that? I feel like a new man now I'm safe behind the ignore list. There'll be a crowd there I'm sure. How will we know if it is working.
Grate to have hooked up bud. Reading his crap used to give me shooting pains in the ass and major panic attacks. Did you get stuff like that? I feel like a new man now I'm safe behind the ignore list. There'll be a crowd there I'm sure. How will we know if it is working.
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
it def works, i can't see his posts anymore
thank god
it def works, i can't see his posts anymore
thank god
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
What if he's not posting now. Wish someone would spank him with a pare of wet rubber gloves for me. I'd like to see him cry. Reading is hard for me. I'm dycksleptic and have to play with myself or watch TV to make bad feelings go. A buddy helps me with stuff like this. Thanks for being such a mate Biggie.
What if he's not posting now. Wish someone would spank him with a pare of wet rubber gloves for me. I'd like to see him cry. Reading is hard for me. I'm dycksleptic and have to play with myself or watch TV to make bad feelings go. A buddy helps me with stuff like this. Thanks for being such a mate Biggie.
Re: carmen of camwithher.com
Good on you Hugh.
I've got a few problems that may seem insignificant right now but they do bother me. I'm a fit heavy bosomed sex addict and I can't trust men to love me for myself. Sensitive advice would be appreciated. Skip the tasteless jokes if you are tempted. I've heard them all.
Good on you Hugh.
I've got a few problems that may seem insignificant right now but they do bother me. I'm a fit heavy bosomed sex addict and I can't trust men to love me for myself. Sensitive advice would be appreciated. Skip the tasteless jokes if you are tempted. I've heard them all.
