Britain revokes US Independence
- Thread starter om3ga
- Start date
Very good finds om3ga. :thumbsup:
The first American rebuttal to the "Declaration of Revocation" wasn't as amusing or clever, imo, as this one (found on the link om3ga provided):
SUBJECT: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:
We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!
However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world.
To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:
1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the original spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman).
However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor.
2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue.
3. Review your basic arithmetic. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)
4. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front.
5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule Brittania ditty, it's toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt "Candle In The Wind" again for you guys.
6. Improve at your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You almost managed to get through the tournament without having your fans start an international incident.
7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. Perhaps when you finally realize the French aren't the spawn of satan they'll teach you how to cook.
8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing, it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and Aston Martins. That's why we bought the companies.
9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies".
Thank you for your time. Yu can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.
P.S. — Regarding WW2: You're Welcome.
The first American rebuttal to the "Declaration of Revocation" wasn't as amusing or clever, imo, as this one (found on the link om3ga provided):
SUBJECT: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:
We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!
However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world.
To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:
1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the original spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman).
However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor.
2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue.
3. Review your basic arithmetic. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)
4. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front.
5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule Brittania ditty, it's toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt "Candle In The Wind" again for you guys.
6. Improve at your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You almost managed to get through the tournament without having your fans start an international incident.
7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. Perhaps when you finally realize the French aren't the spawn of satan they'll teach you how to cook.
8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing, it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and Aston Martins. That's why we bought the companies.
9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies".
Thank you for your time. Yu can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.
P.S. — Regarding WW2: You're Welcome.
Last edited:
4G63 said:
It is from Ireland, dont worry! :glugglug: I am more worried about My Old Speckled Hen Pub Ale....
Funny post!!! :hatsoff:
All kidding aside though. Heres what I really MISS about GB.
http://board.freeones.com/showthread.php?p=664875#post664875
http://board.freeones.com/showthread.php?p=664875#post664875
om3ga
It's good to be the king...
Considering the crap over here regarding Tony Blair's "cash for honours" scandal, can the USA spare us a working electable second house, please? Nothing fussy....
"cash for honours" row
"cash for honours" row
What changed?
They thought the First US President was an idiot too! And we've had Jackson, Grant, etc... No offense, but there have been some mighty inbred royalty in your nation!
But at least we don't always pick our Executive from the same party as our Legislative. We know all leaders are idiots so we set up our government to fight itself in the hope they don't get anything done.
I love being an American. Every few years we remind ourselves why we don't elect the same party to all offices.
They thought the First US President was an idiot too! And we've had Jackson, Grant, etc... No offense, but there have been some mighty inbred royalty in your nation!
But at least we don't always pick our Executive from the same party as our Legislative. We know all leaders are idiots so we set up our government to fight itself in the hope they don't get anything done.
I love being an American. Every few years we remind ourselves why we don't elect the same party to all offices.
om3ga said:Considering the crap over here regarding Tony Blair's "cash for honours" scandal, can the USA spare us a working electable second house, please? Nothing fussy....
"cash for honours" row
I've a better idea om3ga let's just get rid of Blair.I mean the only reason he was voted back in,is there was no one running against him.It was a case of who is the best of a bunch of losers.
Tell you what there hasn't been one for a long time in Britain.Time for a revolution :1orglaugh
om3ga
It's good to be the king...
poggy1 said:
After watching that BBC documentary last night about the British establishment plotting with MI5 & the CIA to overthrow Prime Minister Harold Wilson in the 1970's, I'm not too sure the people would ever get the chance....
But you're right - they wonder why young people are pi$$ed off with politics, when all you need is to make a large donation to get a seat in the House of Lords...
there is one thing that they do got us yanks on... what gives americans the nerve to call a sport that has only 2 people actually kicking the ball during the game as "football"? American football should be called "hand ball". the game formerly called hand ball will lose the right to the name, it's not even a real sport anyway, it's just racketball for people that are too cheap to buy rackets.
American soccer should revert back to being called football. Since the ball does not touch the bases, and the name is a misnomer, american "baseball" should either take the name "soccer" or "mittball". Cricket should be banned as a sport, bowling should be called "laning", and tennis should be called "fifteenis".
American soccer should revert back to being called football. Since the ball does not touch the bases, and the name is a misnomer, american "baseball" should either take the name "soccer" or "mittball". Cricket should be banned as a sport, bowling should be called "laning", and tennis should be called "fifteenis".
Re: What changed?
Yes, in the fact that Democrats and Republicans fight over minute details (i.e., get little done).
No, in the fact that Democrats and Republicans fight over minute details (i.e., actually differ on little).
Yes and no.niptuck said:
Yes, in the fact that Democrats and Republicans fight over minute details (i.e., get little done).
No, in the fact that Democrats and Republicans fight over minute details (i.e., actually differ on little).
DrMotorcity
Don Trump calls me Pornography Man
Hey--has anyone noticed? This great thread is "Post of the Week"!
Congratulations, Om3ga! :jump:
Congratulations, Om3ga! :jump:
