Best Slang for Masturbation - Male

[General Warcock]

taming the tubesteak
jerking the gherkin
pumping the pomegranate
milking the midget

 

[General Warcock]

Burping the worm

:rofl:

 

[CunningStunts]

rub one off

My favorite is "rubbing one out"... close!

 

[Funkwerkz]

Pushing it to the limit.
Taking off for moon.
Joy-sticking.
Head blowing.

 

[chitrodriguez]

Crannnnkkkk it!

 

[CRASHnBURN]

jerking off

 

[LBP 76]

settling

 

[Bigoldowls]

Having a Barclays (Barclays Bank = Wank) :1orglaugh

 

[raynman68]

Having a tug of war with Cyclops.

 

[ChefChiTown]

Pulling taffy
Rolling rigatoni

 

[ham hock]

a date with rosey palms

 

[Donkey Boy]

Loping the mule.

Twist one off.

Rip the motor off the mounts.

I can't believe no one has put "5-Knuckle Shuffle"

 

[Cannon_X]

Waxing the carrot.
Cleaning the pipes.
Drain the main vein.

 

[Facial_King]

I always heard "drain the main vein" in the context of pissing, not masturbating.

Anyway, one of my faves is the already-mentioned "Jerkin' the gherkin"

One I haven't seen yet is "Boppin' the bologna" (or "baloney") - which I think is in one of the National Lampoon Vacation movies.

 

[DukeLaCrosse]

playing tug of war with cyclops

 

[hos]

3 finger left hand topspin from behind with hairdresser technique

 

[Mymessages74]

Tossing off or wanking off

 

[jimnt]

workin and jerkin

riffin and stiffin

rubbin her nubbin

 

[dp93]

jerk off

 

[celebrian]

Getting the Chinese to cry.