I've been counselled and explained that I have
pathological computer use which is an accepted description for excessive computer use that interferes with daily life.
- Recurrent failure to resist impulses to engage in a specified behavior - Yes
- Increasing sense of tension immediately prior to initiating the behavior - Yes
- Pleasure or relief at the time of engaging in the behavior - Very much so
At least five of the following:
- Frequent preoccupation with the behavior or with activity that is preparatory to the behavior - Yes, I have been to speed dating many times and I always assess the woman according to how well she'd perform in porn - forgetting that they might have a brain, sense of humour etc...
- Frequent engaging in the behavior to a greater extent or over a longer period than intended - Yes, many hours at once, and always throughout the entire weekend. Once I was online so long that I forgot to pick my (now ex) wife up from the train station and she had to get a taxi to get home
- Repeated efforts to reduce, control, or stop the behavior - I try my best to distract myself with PS2 games, DVDs or facebook applications, but always revert to online porn
- A great deal of time spent in activities necessary for the behavior, engaging in the behavior, or recovering from its effects - been online now since 8.30am, and I'll probably still be here come 11pm
- Frequent engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations - should be at work right now but called in sick
- Important social, occupational, or recreational activities given up or reduced because of the behavior - hardly ever go out and when I do I am always thinking that I should be at home trawlling for online porn
- Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior - I'm admitting I have a problem right now
- Tolerance: need to increase the intensity or frequency of the behavior in order to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behavior of the same intensity - moved from softcore to hardcore shortly after getting my first computer, now onto mf fetish and extreme fetishes involving bi/gay/shemale/piss/scat/bondage etc
- Restlessness or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior - always making excuses to leave any form of social/occupational function early so that I don't spend too much time offline, and have developed a tick in my legs that means they don't stop bouncing when I'm online
But my pathological computer use doesn't restrict itself to online porn. I am addicted to buying DVDs online too. Just bought Bladerunner Extended, Directors, Extreme Edition - or whatever it's called (you know, the one that goes on for about 7 days before you realise that you forgot to take a bathroom break
)
So, in answer to the question...
Nah. I could give it up anytime (but the voices won't let me)
EDIT: Seriously, I think I might have a real problem and may need proper help.