Alcoholics

[meesterperfect]

Hi,
This topic can be very sensitive and personal so please nobody post anything you may later regret.
Like something too personal.

First I've done my share of drinking, for some times of my life it was an almost everyday thing.
I'm talking going out drinking or poker night drinking and mostly just beer. I've never been an alcoholic that I can say with a clear conscious. I can say also that I have done some stupid things while drunk that I do regret, but nothing too bad, just things I wish I hadn't.
But I've had a few alcoholics in the family and I know firsthand how destructive alcoholism can be, not just for the person but to all around them.
I can say that some of my lowest points in life were the result of other peoples alcoholism.

So a few questions.
Like I said I know firsthand that trying to help an alcohlic can bring you down with them.
So is there a time at some point to just give up, cut them out of your life completely for your own sake?
How far should you go?

Also, when an alcoholic or just a person when drunk turns into a Dr. Jekyl says the most awful terrible things about you or someone close to you is that really their true feelings or "Just the booze talking"?
Because drunk or not once something is said its said. A lot of alcoholics will pretend it never happened or just use the excuse that they were drunk so all is forgiven but I still wonder if that is really their true feelings coming out.

Do you think some alcoholics really don't want to change? Basically they like going through life drunk and causing problems?

And one more little thing is when I lived in Colombia people drink, hard stuff too. I've been around areas hundreds of times , open areas, surrounded by literally hundreds even thousands of very drunk Colombians guys and girls and never even saw one fight, Just a bunch of happy drunks.
In the states Ive lived in NJ and West Coast FL which is like "redneck" Florida and drinking in mostly beer joints and have seen and been in many fights, all alcohol related. In Florida there were all out bar room brawls every other night, some real bloody too. Usually most began with one guy popping another , next thing you know the whole bar goes apeshit and youre ducking stools while fighting some asshole (or multiple assholes) who just chose to go after you.
I wonder why that is.

Anyway thats all.

 

[mikala784]

From my experience, some alcoholics always want to change - but they either for powerless, scared, or too depressed. Alcohol is their crutch. The thing they fall back to whenever they feel like a failure. I don't understand it and I'm glad I don't. I feel bad for alcoholics and they are very hard to help, because a lot of it comes from them. They need to make the choice - but it certainly helps when people support them. It just sucks when they try and fail so many times.

 

[Jack Davenport]

I'm a lover not a fighter.

 

[sean miguel]

I wouldn't know, I'm a porn addict. I drink while edging to extend the experience. But it's all about the porn and the edging.

 

[xfire]

Like a lot of things, alcohol isn't a problem unless it's disrupting a person's life. I gave up booze many years ago, except for the occasional glass of wine or sip of quality whiskey, and when I say occasional I'm talking two or three times a year. Addictions are choices and I have little sympathy for alcoholics, drug addicts, fatties (of which I'm a recovering carb-addict), assholes, or any other deviant choice of behavior. Of course it can be fixed, people can change, but they have to be compelled, otherwise forget about it because until the person engaging in the fucked up behavior admits they have a problem and chooses to fix it you're just wasting your time, but you can choose to exclude these kind of people from your life until they do change, that's a choice YOU can make, and should. Don't be other people's doormats.

 

[Jack Davenport]

Hey! I am damn near 239 pounds.

I'm a fattie.

At least I think I am.

That reminds me, my weekend eat what I want shit is over. Back to boiled eggs and boiled chicken. No bread sucks too.

 

[xfire]

Brother, I went for a full year less than 20g net carbs/day, I know your pain.

 

[hawk2005]

I've now cut out alcohol completely, takes a long time to get over it and not need it, but you feel so healthy when you get there

In my family, everyone who looks like a certain relative also likes their beer, it seems to have a different effect on them than the rest of us, and they love it so much that it is extremely dangerous to them. Because they are family I will always be there to help, but I am unable to understand what they are going through as I was always in control of my own drinking and also dreading the coming hangover, which would put me off drinking too much. Seems like we are all built differently

 

[Supafly]

Straight away, the answer to the question about, "When is the time to walk away?" and "How far should I go along with an alcoholic?":

"When you notice the drinking as a problem, when you see it harm the person and when it harms others:

Realize that NOBODY changes an alcoholic but himself.

Others can play a big role in showing the way, but the addicted person has to hit the wall that shows him: You can't handle this anymore, you need to step away.

So if you are in relationship with an alcoholic, draw the line, and if he steps over it, leave him. You are doing him a favor by making that decision and by showing that there are hard consequences to his unability to change. ESPECIALLY if children are involved.

 

[Jack Davenport]

Straight away, the answer to the question about, "When is the time to walk away?" and "How far should I go along with an alcoholic?":

"When you notice the drinking as a problem, when you see it harm the person and when it harms others:

Realize that NOBODY changes an alcoholic but himself.

Others can play a big role in showing the way, but the addicted person has to hit the wall that shows him: You can't handle this anymore, you need to step away.

So if you are in relationship with an alcoholic, draw the line, and if he steps over it, leave him. You are doing him a favor by making that decision and by showing that there are hard consequences to his unability to change. ESPECIALLY if children are involved.

I'll drink to that.

 

[meesterperfect]

I'll drink to that.

Me too. Good one Sup. Thanks to all so far.
To be just a little more specific.
I have an older sister who had everything not long ago.
And when she did she flaunted it. New everything,50 pairs of shoes worn once type stuff.
But she never stopped the drinking and the pills. Finally he got out but gave her plenty for a fresh start.
Pissed away in less than a year.
Thing is she likes it. She enjoys it. She doesnt want to stop. She is comfortable around low life scumbags.
So dumb ass me over the years has tried to have a normal relationship but its not possible.
I have an entire side of my family who hasnt really seen me since I was a teenager who thinks I'm some scumbag because of lies she's told them.
I have found that fuck ups enjoy calling other people fuck ups for some reason.
Anyway, she has caused some major damage to my life and my sons life.......I'm talking really bad things. Unforgivable things.
So everytime I cut her out and time goes by then she initiates contact with me I'll go see her. But something always happens and its from the drugs and booze.
She is really not a good person. It would be nice to have a family member to be around in times of need but I can't do it again.

So maybe my advice for anyone here is sure, help them if you can. But when it starts to create problems for you it's time to cut it off completely. There is only so much you can do .

 

[Mr. Daystar]

I'm a drunk....alcoholics go to meetings.


I drink just about every day. I have a rock glass of whiskey with a cigar after work, on the weekends I might, I might not. I stopped for a while, when I was blazing up, but I quit smoking, so I went back to drinking. Do I have a problem? Maybe. But it's never caused me grief at home, or interfered with work, so fuck it. Live life, and be happy.

Not to mention, it's really hard for me to eat wings, ribs, or a nice steak, without a nice cold beer or two.

 

[meesterperfect]

thats good. You can handle it. I always could also.
Some people drink one beer and they go insane and create chaos for everyone around.
Weird thing, I'm sure there's a reason.

 

[Jack Davenport]

I haven't had a drink since New Years.
I'm getting where I don't like the taste of alcohol. And I can drink 8 beers or 4 stiff drinks and not get a buzz.

So, why bother?

 

[Will E Worm]

The solution is no more alcohol.

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

I Don't Always Drink Alcohol

But When I Do, I Drink A
Whole Heck Of A Lot Of It

 

[sean miguel]

inspired. I gave up smoking after 7 years without a thought. It's time I gave up booze.

I'm not giving up porn though. I'll go for quality/quantity over longevity when it comes to what I discussed earlier. My liver and pancreas tho.

 

[Supafly]

To elaborate some furthermore on walking away from an alcoholic:

Unless he cuts out the substance, you and the addict would not have a single day with the person, anyway. The only way is to cut out the drug.

I am glad to see that some of us have made this step, and have the chance to have a good relationship again.

Plus, let's not forget:

It'sm not pretty when the Korsakov Syndrome has reached a certain level. And the feel of alcoholic polyneuropathy or rather, the absence of feelings in feet, then hands, and maybe even the death of nerves towards and in the intestines... you don't want that.

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

inspired. I gave up smoking after 7 years without a thought. It's time I gave up booze.

I'm not giving up porn though. I'll go for quality/quantity over longevity when it comes to what I discussed earlier. My liver and pancreas tho.

Why would you give up booze? You enjoy it. If you're married you basically only answer to the wife. If she doesn't have a problem with your drinking why would you quit? My wife works the night shift at the hospital and, when she's on shift, she knows I'm at home watching a couple movies and having some drinks. Don't quit if you don't have to, need to, or want to.

 

[Jack Davenport]

Alcohol is simply not healthy if consumed regularly.
The phase of my life where I drank a lot was 16 years ago. It was essentially every night. Fueled by going out skirt chasing every night. I also noticed that I have a propensity to want to get into fights when I'm drunk.

A fist fight in the parking lot of a strip joint that should have resulted in me being locked up and facing disciplinary action went unpunished.
I took that as my warning and stopped drinking heavily.

Best decision I ever made.