You could always make a movie where you sport a strap-on and absolutely ruin a young starlet's bunghole. Then, you could call it "Dixie Wrecked", just to make me giggle.
Or, you could just...you know, keep doing what you're doing. That seems to be working pretty well.
Oh, and I'd take a massage any day of the week. Just try and dig into my back muscles with your elbow. I might cry a little bit from the pain and look like a huge wuss bag, so don't judge me.