Your favourite Quotes

raimmi

Closed Account
You have got some favourite quotes? Then share them here.

Some of mine are:

"What is a man but the sum of his memories? We are the stories we live! The tales we tell ourselves!"
(No one important said that, it is just from a videogame, but I still like it)

and

"Beauty is the only truth in this world." (Fits pretty good for the majority of the porn industry)
 

Rey C.

Racing is life... anything else is just waiting.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

In addition to (admittedly) being full of shit, I am also full of the various quotes I've heard over the years. I often save them to files and for whatever reason, they just tend to stick with me and sometimes make me think.

Funny ones:

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.

When two people share a dislike of another person, it brings them closer.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.



Prophetic/philosophical ones:

The same heat that melts butter tempers steel. (heard it from my grandfather - not sure if he came up with it or heard it somewhere else)

Every generation's memory is exactly as long as its own experience.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Americans can be counted on to do the right thing… once they have exhausted all other possibilities.

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.

Once the rockets go up, who cares where they come down? That's not my department.

The paranoid mind is far more coherent than the real world.



Movie/TV lines:

THE WIRE:
“Fuck ‘right’. It ain’t about right. It’s about money!” – D’Angelo Barksdale

“Money ain’t got no owners. Only got spenders.” – Omar Little

“You know what the trouble is, Brucey? We used to make shit in this country… build shit. Now we just put our hand in the next guy’s pocket.” – Frank Sabotka



The man Who Shot Liberty Valance:
When the legend becomes fact, print the legend

Dirty Harry:
A man's got to know his limitations.


Unforgiven:
Kid: Well, I guess he had it comin'.
Eastwood: Kid, we all got it comin'.


And one that I try to use in my every day work life (people in modern American politics would do well to remember this too):

Extreme positions are not succeeded by moderate ones, but by contrary extreme positions. - Friedrich Nietzsche


And one more that has been in my mind very recently (since murder is a mortal sin):

If I sit patiently by the river, eventually the body of my enemy will float by.
 
Edward Phelps - "The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything."

Louis L'Amour - "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
 

Shifty

O.G.
"We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end.

We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be.

We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing-grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills.

We shall never surrender!"
 
the further is society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it-George Orwell
 

espnaddict

Banned
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
 

Philbert

Banned
"I'VE GOT ENOUGH MONEY TO LAST THE REST OF MY LUFE...AS LONG AS I DON'T SPEND ANY OF IT"....Jackie Mason

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window. - Steve Bluestone

I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead. -

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Eat well. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason... there's a reason. - Molly McGee, N.B.C

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeneris

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Decide promptly, but never give any reasons. Your decisions may be right, but your reasons are sure to be wrong. - Lord Mansfield

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously over looked something.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Love may be blind, but marriage is sure an eye-opener.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Attempt to get a new car for your spouse-it'll be a great trade!

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise. - Roger Simon

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
 

Philbert

Banned
George Carlin quotes:



Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,
"Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you spin an Asian man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
 

Philbert

Banned
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny
like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal
anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are
the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
--John Wayne
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it.
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
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" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
another"
--George Bush, US President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from
the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al
Gore, VP
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992
because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You
may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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"I'm done."...Philbert
 

L3ggy

Special Operations FOX-HOUND

KLSsw08

My Hands Should Be Patented As A Bra; Perfect Fit!
"Do not compare yourself with others.If you do,you are insulting yourself." Adolf Hitler


"The art of reading consists of remembering the essentials and forgetting the non-essentials." Adolf Hitler,Mien Kampf
 
The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying This is mine, and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: Beware of listening to this imposter; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau
 
Don't know if I have this exactly, but you'll get the idea: "Most of the world's work is done by people who don't feel well." Winston Churchill
and "You cannot help men permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves." Abraham Lincoln
 
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
-Socrates (citation needed)


The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'
-Sigmund Freud
 
"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
 
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