Who's been the inspiration for your first wank on Christmas Day?
Mine have been:
Nina Mercedez and Jennifer Aniston - both together!
Mine have been:
Nina Mercedez and Jennifer Aniston - both together!
Your Christmas wank?
- Thread starter Mymessages74
- Start date
Mr. Daystar
In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs.
don't "wank" on Christmas anymore. About 12 years ago (give or take), I worked a nice big gooey one out, then went to take a shower and get ready for all of the family stuff I had to do. Before I jumped in the shower, I went piss. As I stood there I got an itchy feeling in my pee hole and suddenly a stream of blood fired from my cock...at right angles to the actuall direction it was aiming and splattered all over the wall next to me. Well, about a second after the flow started (it seemed like a decade) my knees went numb and my heart begane to race. I thought...Oh fuck!!! I have cancer...God is punishing me for masturbating on his birthday...oh fuck, what am I gonna do? Well as my eyes welled up with tears and I tried to get my head straight, I looked for a rag and disinfectant to clean up and begane begging for forgivness (to God of course...for rubbing one off on his birthday). I finished cleaning and tried to find my doctors home number, called him and was told to relax and he would see me the next day. In the mean time, a second piss came up...this one started out all blood, but trailed off to pee, which made me less freaked out...but still, you know...no man wants to see blood coming out of his pecker!!! Well anyway, I went and saw the doctor, went to a hospital a couple of days later, had a test, and nothing was there. They told me I must have had a kidney stone, passed it and not known. So, ever since that Christmas morning...I still can't bring myself to rub one out...I just can't. But the wife can!!!!!
member2686
Banned
Three words: TOO MUCH INFORMATION. :eek: 
:rofl2: Thanks for the mildly funny story, though. Can't believe you're still superstitious about it... Too funny! lol
:rofl2: Thanks for the mildly funny story, though. Can't believe you're still superstitious about it... Too funny! lol
I could make some funny joke about this, but after passing my second kidney stone last month, revidffum's post just makes me want to cry remembering how much that hurt.
member20672
Closed Account
A thread jacking if we ever needed one:eek:
I'm saving mine for someone special
LOL
I'm saving mine for someone special
LOL
member2686
Banned
He should give it to the dude who wanted to taste his own cum. lmao :1orglaugh :rofl:
:rofl: poggy1 said:
Nightfly said:Three words: TOO MUCH INFORMATION. :eek:
:rofl2: Thanks for the mildly funny story, though. Can't believe you're still superstitious about it... Too funny! lol
Actually, I disagree. I thought he shared something rather personal - if it was true (though at first, I admit I was cringing). And one can NEVER get too personal as far as I am concerned - as long as intentions are good.
What have I started? Just kidding. Can't criticise him for his honesty.
Let's bring this thread back to the original topic.
I've still got Nina Mercedez on the brain - or should that be in my trousers?
I think I need to put one of her DVDs on....
Let's bring this thread back to the original topic.
I've still got Nina Mercedez on the brain - or should that be in my trousers?
I think I need to put one of her DVDs on....
member2686
Banned
LOL! Next we're gonna have some guy posting "something rather personal" like that he had undigested peanuts or corn in his feces or something today. :eek: :throwup:
Yeah, I definitely think there's a line where you can politely say "T.M.I." lol
Yeah, I definitely think there's a line where you can politely say "T.M.I." lol
mcrocket said:
qweretyuiopas@
Banned
To much family around today, didnt even think about it till i came to this thread lmao, I was too busy cooking all day
jod0565 said:
They are all watching, thats why the tooth fairy put rabbit shit under my pillow, the boogyman pissed in my boots, santa jacked off in my stocking, the easter bunny slapped my grandma, cupid tried to get me with a poison tipped arrow, and that little green druken bastard tried to finger my sister. Its a damn fairy tale conspiracy.
member2686
Banned
OMG death blooms, that was fuckin' hilarious!!! :1orglaugh :rofl: :rofl2:
:1orglaugh :rofl: :rofl2:
