I will win, like I do every year.
My wife makes me watch the first quarter while giving me a blowjob for the good hour or so it takes for the quarter to end. She won't let me turn off the TV until the second quarter. That's her rule.
The moment the second quarter starts, I turn it off and I don't care what the score is. I'll typically "get back to it" around mid-4th quarter, assuming I'm not totally passed out.
She's been doing this for the past 5 years and I fucking love it. I would be looking for my 6-peat this year, but I was out-of-town on business last year. So I've been anticipating this Superbowl more than any other!
And my friends wonder why I don't come to their Superbowl parties or host my own. If they only knew.