What exactly is "sex"?

[whatshisname]

Sort of an unofficial survey:

If you say, for example, that two people "had sex," what exactly do you mean by that? Does it have to be vaginal intercourse? Does anal intercourse count? Does oral sex count? (Do fellatio and cunnilingus count equally, or does one count and the other not? Does it have to be reciprocal to count?) Do hand jobs count? (Again, same for men and women? Does it have to be reciprocal?) Does the sex of the parties involved matter? (For example, anal sex counts for gay men but not for straight couples.)

I guess my inclination is to say vaginal and anal intercourse always count, and when you're talking about a lesbian couple, some other things count, but I haven't really thought through what.

 

[whatshisname]

Also, how (if at all) does the answer depend on context?

For example, if you say, "They had sex," is the definition of "sex" the same as when you say, "She has never had sex"? Are there any contexts in which the definition would change?



Also (forgot to give these examples above), do things like cybersex and phone sex count?
(I'm guessing the answer is usually no, but are there contexts in which they would count?)

 

[xxaru]

Well, apparently "some" girls only consider sex to be "vaginal intercourse". Thus they say they can have all the anal and oral sex they want and still call themselves virgins.

Of course, I always laugh at that while their getting fucked up the ass :1orglaugh

 

[hos]

just a word for things that happen in mind intended to stimulate your sexual organ(s).

there is definitly no need for vaginal contact. ask gay people, i am sure they have sex, too.

or: is telephone sex no sex? is masturbation no sex?

sex is fun.

 

[squallumz]

to me, sex is when u actually put it in the girl vaginally or anally. if u get just a handjob or blowjob, you just got a handjob or blowjob, not sex.

 

[Friday on my mind]

to me, sex is when u actually put it in the girl vaginally or anally. if u get just a handjob or blowjob, you just got a handjob or blowjob, not sex.

That was the definiton Bill Clinton thought as well."I did not have sex with that woman".

 

[marquis2]

Sex is essentially about their being two versions of people-male and female.It makes no sense to talk about gay sex as one of the key factors is missing but as to what level of M/F interaction can be described as sex must be a matter of opinion.

 

[BlueBalls]

Sex is my my cousin Skeeter comes over to my trailer and we play grab ass.

 

[squallumz]

That was the definiton Bill Clinton thought as well."I did not have sex with that woman".

and he didnt! he got a blowjob and from the evidence, she did a good job. :tongue:

 

[BlueBalls]

Sex is when my cousin Skeeter comes over to my trailer and we play grab ass.

Error corrected:hatsoff:

 

[stainedblueyes]

A damned good question... I posed it to my closest buddies, the intellectual sort of chaps who love a good debate over this sort of thing. It was all over in seconds (the debate not the sex they decided that sex is:
a) Mega
b) Bumping Uglies.

Truly I'm blessed...

For me, it doesn't have to be penetrative intercourse, I'd like to think that any sexually orientated act would fall under that umbrella

 

[DonkMan]

Sex is my my cousin Skeeter comes over to my trailer and we play grab ass.

Blah hahaha ha haaa haa! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

[squallumz]

if i went to hang out with a girl and i got a blowjob from her and that was it, i wouldnt come home and be like, i just had sex with heather. id say she sucked me off, gave me a blowjob, whatever. saying i had sex with her is.. misleading i suppose.

 

[gunslingingbird]

Sex is what makes the difference between boys and girls. Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina. :angels:

 

[whatshisname]

Sex is essentially about their being two versions of people-male and female.It makes no sense to talk about gay sex as one of the key factors is missing but as to what level of M/F interaction can be described as sex must be a matter of opinion.

I can see how, etymologically, it might not make sense to talk about “gay sex,” because “sex” in the sense of a sex act derives from “sex” in the sense of the difference between male and female. However, language evolves. Sometimes it evolves in ways that I condemn because they make it more difficult to communicate. But in the case of “sex” (in the sense of an act) I think that the definition that includes “gay sex” is today both more common and more useful.

However, if you want to use the strict etymological definition, then it seems to me that the specific type of interaction required is not a matter of opinion. If “sex” is an act that is inherently between male and female, then it must be an act that takes advantage of the difference. In principle, when a man uses his penis for anal sex, the sex of his partner is irrelevant. So I would argue that your strict etymological definition implies that only vaginal intercourse counts as sex, because it is (broadly speaking) the only sex act that requires both a male and a female.

 

[shayd]

to me, sex is when u actually put it in the girl vaginally or anally. if u get just a handjob or blowjob, you just got a handjob or blowjob, not sex.

I'm with you there.

 

[squallumz]

I'm with you there.

yeah man, seriously. if u get a bj, you dont say u fucked her, right? this is too easy. next.

 

[calpoon]

I get what you are saying whathisname. it is very interesting to see how language evolves to fit contemporary society.

to me sex is any act involving nudity and contact with genitals.

which is simply to say any of those acts falls into the realm of sex.

however, in everyday conversation I usually use the term to describe vaginal intercourse, and identify any other acts specifically.

when it comes to male homosexual relationships I will use the term to mostly denote anal intercourse, obviously excluding anything involving female organs, but it's still a bit more ambiguous then in "conventional" language amongst heterosexuals. I think it's generally understood, but of course there's always the case where you can clarify what you mean specifically.

when it comes to female homosexual relationships, I'd use the same term as I originally stated, with no specific defined act, since lacking penetrative organs, their sex acts are usually more varied and less rigid and unable to pin down to a "norm."

as you can see the same expression can take on different meanings in different contexts, where the context makes the meaning relatively clear and is not usually confused with a different usage. At the same time, it still holds true because all of the different meanings still fall within the general definition that I first suggested.

 

[Jagger69]

If it gets your nuts off, it's sex. Masturbation, vaginal or anal intercourse, fellatio, handjobs, you name it. It's S-E-X.

 

[YMIHERE]

That was the definiton Bill Clinton thought as well."I did not have sex with that woman".

What exactly is "sex"? That depends on what the defination of "is" is.