Have you ever had a scare regarding your dick/balls/pussy/ass? I'm lucky enough to have had a safe ride for my dick and ass, but my balls have twice been unfortunate. When I was about 6 or 7, I some how came home from the park with Sonic the Hedgehog's nut sack. Since my parents were too poor to afford a doctor visit, I had to experience the most awkward time of my life as my father removed them individually with a pair of tweasers. When I was around 12, I masturbated with some shampoo and didn't bother to clean up. I woke up the next morning with my balls looking like your hands after using glue. I didn't have time to peel it off so I had to sit through school with my sack crusty and in pain (started chaffing). How about you?
"Uh oh!" moments with your junk
Ace Bandage
The one and only.
I haven't, but my brother has a great story.
Our high school baseball team goes to Florida every spring break in March for some informal practice and scrimmages. Technically, it's supposed to be run by parents, but the coaches still have some involvement anyway. During the first few days down there, we do some station to station work with hitting, bunting, and fielding. The bunting station was notoriously famous because the pitching machine used to deliver the balls was cranked all way to 90 mph and positioned fifteen feet in front of the mound in order to increase the difficulty. We were told to square around, and place the ball down the third baseline. When my brother's turn came up (he was only a sophomore), he had trouble making contact for the first few pitches. He hung in there, but on the last pitch, the ball that was put into the machine had a small cut in it. When it went through the machine, the ball started curving almost immediately. At that speed and distance, he didn't even have time to react. The ball hit him square in the testicles. The force of the shot (and probably the pain) knocked him unconscious.
For some idiotic reason, he wasn't wearing a cup that day, and was taken to the emergency room right away. His testicles swelled up like grapefruits and he missed the rest of the week's practice while recovering. He didn't suffer any long term damage, but he was in pain for awhile. He also definitely started wearing a cup after that whenever he was on the field. Today, he has two kids, so apparently it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
Our high school baseball team goes to Florida every spring break in March for some informal practice and scrimmages. Technically, it's supposed to be run by parents, but the coaches still have some involvement anyway. During the first few days down there, we do some station to station work with hitting, bunting, and fielding. The bunting station was notoriously famous because the pitching machine used to deliver the balls was cranked all way to 90 mph and positioned fifteen feet in front of the mound in order to increase the difficulty. We were told to square around, and place the ball down the third baseline. When my brother's turn came up (he was only a sophomore), he had trouble making contact for the first few pitches. He hung in there, but on the last pitch, the ball that was put into the machine had a small cut in it. When it went through the machine, the ball started curving almost immediately. At that speed and distance, he didn't even have time to react. The ball hit him square in the testicles. The force of the shot (and probably the pain) knocked him unconscious.
For some idiotic reason, he wasn't wearing a cup that day, and was taken to the emergency room right away. His testicles swelled up like grapefruits and he missed the rest of the week's practice while recovering. He didn't suffer any long term damage, but he was in pain for awhile. He also definitely started wearing a cup after that whenever he was on the field. Today, he has two kids, so apparently it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
vodkazvictim
Why save the world, when you can rule it?
The Ry family are breeding. May God have mercy on our souls :tongue:
I assume your brother is older boy? I doubt anyone would wish to make such a mistake twice :tongue:
I have several repetitive dreams. One is that I'm masturbating (my wife's libido is a fraction of mine, so I masturbate frequently) and the head of my penis comes off in the same manner as the cap of a mushroom detaches from the stalk.
Other than that I was once told that by an Italian-American girl that I had glow in the dark cum :dunno: and apart from the time I had chlamydea (no, not jokig) I can't think of anything.
Really? Cuz I seriously have a repetetive dream like that. I'm shaving my sack and I accidentally slice it open. My balls fall out and dangle near the floor like meaty piñatas. I then freak out and start jumping around, stomping on my family jewels accidentally.
vodkazvictim
Why save the world, when you can rule it?
No shit.
It's always a relief to wake up from that, eh?
When I was about 9, I went to a friend's sleepover. It was time to change into my pajamas, and I realized I left all of my clothes back in the main room. I ended up running into the room with my bare ass showing and everybody laughed.
There have been times in my life when it wasn't...
bobjustbob
Proud member of FreeOnes Hall Of Fame. Retired to
Here's a fun game our family plays during the holidays. Try to say the Japanese tongue twisters. After this desert is served. A good time had by all.
After that desert is derved. A good time had by all.
After that desert is derved. A good time had by all.
StanScratch
My Penis Is Dancing!
I once jerked off after cutting a bunch of peppers. I believe I made a thread about it.
When I was in 4th grade I began masturbating frequently, you could say I found out what my junk was for 
but anyways I too used shampoo like an idiot with a loofa and chaffed real bad too, it was so bad the skin turned red and started to peel. I was on the basketball team and had a game so I put lotion on it and wrapped it in a bandage, almost half the team didn't show up so I had to play every minute, I don't know if it was the pain or my mind being elsewhere but it was my best game ever, I scored 45 point against one of the top teams and even got a standing ovation, at the end of the game one of my teammates came up to me and said, "Dude did you play with a hard on the whole game?" & I looked down at my basketball shorts and because the bandage and the way I rolled it made me look like I was John Holmes! Needless to say I became really popular with the girls. It was kinda like Teen Wolf LOL
but anyways I too used shampoo like an idiot with a loofa and chaffed real bad too, it was so bad the skin turned red and started to peel. I was on the basketball team and had a game so I put lotion on it and wrapped it in a bandage, almost half the team didn't show up so I had to play every minute, I don't know if it was the pain or my mind being elsewhere but it was my best game ever, I scored 45 point against one of the top teams and even got a standing ovation, at the end of the game one of my teammates came up to me and said, "Dude did you play with a hard on the whole game?" & I looked down at my basketball shorts and because the bandage and the way I rolled it made me look like I was John Holmes! Needless to say I became really popular with the girls. It was kinda like Teen Wolf LOL
bobjustbob
Proud member of FreeOnes Hall Of Fame. Retired to
But seriously folks. I had been with this woman for a few weeks. We had some nice sex a few times. I don't know what it was but on one particular night it got really, REALLY, intense. We actually shook the bed till it ended up against the wall on the opposite side of the room.
She was not a shaven woman and there was no lube. The abrasion on me was noticeable and delicate but I was happy with how I got it. The next day I didn't expect. From my balls slapping her so hard and for so long the pain felt like they were in a vice. She must have liked that night because she wanted to do it again the next night. As great as that sex was, and to do it again, was very awkward to explaining to her. That pain still lasted another day.
She was not a shaven woman and there was no lube. The abrasion on me was noticeable and delicate but I was happy with how I got it. The next day I didn't expect. From my balls slapping her so hard and for so long the pain felt like they were in a vice. She must have liked that night because she wanted to do it again the next night. As great as that sex was, and to do it again, was very awkward to explaining to her. That pain still lasted another day.
One time at band camp I was siting on the dock of the bay wasting time and this really cute girl had asked me if I ever had a blow job, so I was like no you wanna be the first and she of course obliged, I think her friends told her to do it but man she sucked my cock like it was an ice cream! So damn good I didn't realize the bush we were hiding in was poison ivy or sum shit, but we both got it all over - my ass my balls n legs, she even had on her arms n face! We were both at the nurse covered in calamine lotion - now thats what I call a sticky situation
and she of course obliged, I think her friends told her to do it but man she sucked my cock like it was an ice cream! So damn good I didn't realize the bush we were hiding in was poison ivy or sum shit, but we both got it all over - my ass my balls n legs, she even had on her arms n face! We were both at the nurse covered in calamine lotion - now thats what I call a sticky situation
bobjustbob
Proud member of FreeOnes Hall Of Fame. Retired to
Back during the wonder years of high school. There was this chick that always had good pot to smoke. We were good friends. Always willing to share. Not that great looking but she had her round with the boys and I wanted to have my shot. One night a bunch of us were smoking in her room and I wondered off with her friend.
We park ourselves on a shale bank smoking a doob and she wants to have sex. I'm thinking, sure, If she tells her friend then I can get into her pants too. She gave me crabs. Talk about problem with your junk? The work I had to do to get that itch to stop was not only lengthly but embarrassing.
Cut to the chase. I never got to bang the other one. Probably knew her friend had crabs and knew she fucked me. She sure as hell didn't want to get crabs and I don't blame her.
We park ourselves on a shale bank smoking a doob and she wants to have sex. I'm thinking, sure, If she tells her friend then I can get into her pants too. She gave me crabs. Talk about problem with your junk? The work I had to do to get that itch to stop was not only lengthly but embarrassing.
Cut to the chase. I never got to bang the other one. Probably knew her friend had crabs and knew she fucked me. She sure as hell didn't want to get crabs and I don't blame her.
this has happened to me a few times. it fucking hurts. any contact at all causes pain, not necessarily excruciating, but it hurt like fuck none the less.
ive been kneed in the balls a couple times from re positioning too quickly, or from her not paying attention when she gets off me.
but the absolute worst thing ive ever had happen to me was poison oak. i used to camp a lot, and when i was younger i could never tell what it looked like, or never took the time to notice. so id go camping, get covered in it, then go to sleep in my sleeping bag. well, thats the stupid part. it gets in your bag, and when you roll around it covers you head to toe. dick, balls, gooch the whole shabang. its the worst pain in the world by far.
After a week or so binge of heavy drinking, and I mean heavy, I woke up one day with a brutal hangover and swollen testicles. When I say swollen, I don't mean they were a little bit bigger and slightly tender. They were fucking huge and sore as fuck. Like grapefruit size big. I had pictures, but they might be lost on an old phone or something. Anyway...I was crying. I had to jump out of bed and hold them up, because when they hung on their own weight, it hurt like a bitch. I yelled for my then girlfriend to look up what was wrong, but we ended up just going to the hospital. I couldn't sit in the car, I had to hold myself up like a weirdo all the way to the hospital. We get there, I show the doctor my huge coin purse and he laughs and says have you been drinking? He told me I was just dehydtrated, told me to take an aspirin for the pain, pick up some pickles, eat those and drink the juice, put my feet up and drink water all day. So I did and by the time I went to sleep that night, the pain was gone and my sac was pretty much back to normal.
It scared the shit out of me.
It scared the shit out of me.
Petra
Cult Mother and Simpering Cunt
A year or two after highschool, a friend of mine who shared a house with my boyfriend came out about being gay. This lead into a period where he was a freakin whore (probably from being so sexually repressed) and had a different guy at the house every weekend.
Well, this leads up to the New Years Eve of that year. He had a boyfriend over and we sat around drinking ourselves silly. Unfortunately, I was working at McDonald's at the time and was the opening manager so I had to be up and out the door around 4am so I could be at the store at 5.
The boys were sprawled out, buck ass naked, on the fold out bed. There was a huge tube of toothpaste lying on the floor and my friend was moaning about his ass hurting really bad.
Evidently in the heat of passion they managed to miss the lube and get the toothpaste instead...
The moral of the story? Keep your lube clearly marked.
Well, this leads up to the New Years Eve of that year. He had a boyfriend over and we sat around drinking ourselves silly. Unfortunately, I was working at McDonald's at the time and was the opening manager so I had to be up and out the door around 4am so I could be at the store at 5.
The boys were sprawled out, buck ass naked, on the fold out bed. There was a huge tube of toothpaste lying on the floor and my friend was moaning about his ass hurting really bad.
Evidently in the heat of passion they managed to miss the lube and get the toothpaste instead...
The moral of the story? Keep your lube clearly marked.
Jane Burgess
Official Checked Star Member
I'll never forget my first football practice with full gear. We were doing some routine head-to-head contact drill, but I had never put on pads and a helmet on, so I wasn't exactly sure how to hit. "Put your facemask in his nuts," the coach said. I thought he was just being crass, so, on the next drill, I came out of my three-point stance and stood up. Bad idea. Instead of seeing the other guy's facemask coming toward mine, I saw it going straight at my crotch. Being in a Pop Warner league, nobody used cups, myself included. What followed were the most agonizing 5 minutes of my life, which were spent rolling on the ground, gasping for breath, while the coach bereated me for being an idiot.
Another story from football:
One day, while we were all suiting up for practice, the kicker went to take a piss, and left his locker open. Unfortunately for him, the team's biggest prankster was standing nearby rubbing some Icy Hot on his shoulder. Well, soon as Kicker walked out of sight, this guy grabbed Kicker's jock strap, squeezed some Icy Hot into it, and put out back without saying a word. The poor, unsuspecting kicker came back, got dressed, and headed out to practice. No more than 10 minutes later, during team stretches, poor Kicker suddenly let out a gasp, and rolled over on the ground, holding his nutsack. Needless to say, we were short a kicker in practice that day.
Another story from football:
One day, while we were all suiting up for practice, the kicker went to take a piss, and left his locker open. Unfortunately for him, the team's biggest prankster was standing nearby rubbing some Icy Hot on his shoulder. Well, soon as Kicker walked out of sight, this guy grabbed Kicker's jock strap, squeezed some Icy Hot into it, and put out back without saying a word. The poor, unsuspecting kicker came back, got dressed, and headed out to practice. No more than 10 minutes later, during team stretches, poor Kicker suddenly let out a gasp, and rolled over on the ground, holding his nutsack. Needless to say, we were short a kicker in practice that day.
Nothing major other than when I'm masturbating the zipper will occasionally pop forward and pinch either my balls or just the sack and it stings like hell. I still remember the first time it happened. Not only did it hurt like hell but I thought I had pierced through the flesh and blood was coming out. That's how painful it was.
BCT
Pucker Up Butter Cup.
When I was 6 or 7 I used to have a fascination with climbing. I remember climbing up a stop sign when I was about 7 and I slid very quickly, on the way down I scratched my ball sack pretty good. I had to put peroxide on my nuts and it healed up nicely. You live, you learn.
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