Till Death Do Us Part...

[ChefChiTown]

I've seen a bunch of TV shows and movies that have a bunch of situations where people are getting re-married after their spouse dies and I don't get it. Yes, you need to "move on", but really? I don't get how somebody can jump into the arms of another woman (or man) after their spouse dies.

Personally, I'm not going to marry someone unless they are the only person that I want to be with and I know it. If my wife died after we got married, I would never be able to re-marry again, or even date, have sex, kiss, etc.

I know that part of the traditional wedding vows are "till death do us part", but I don't think it should be. To me, marriage is a commitment that I will only enter into with somebody who I will love for the rest of MY life...not just hers. If I get married and my wife dies, I'll still be dedicated to her even though she's gone. Just because she doesn't lie in bed next to me at night anymore doesn't mean that she's not still my wife.

What does everyone else think?

 

[BlueBalls]

If Paul McCartney can do it then we all can.




I dont even know what I mean by that

 

[jamrak]

I think that the idea of total dedication to one person is some kind of utopia. And I find it destructive, cuz it is against human nature and instincts. It is like an attempt to control your desires with sophisticated and artificial borders and limits.

I think that restricting oneself in terms of relations (sex, kisses, dating etc) under any conditions - even such as death of wife - is false, it is supernormal understanding of "faithfulness". And it is just a matter of time and case to prove it - when you met a sexy girl, really outstanding and cool, that suits your taste and mood, you won't be able to resist. And what for? When desire just appears inside of you, you stop to be faithful. You can restrict yourself, try to control you feelings, but if it is against desire - it wont be natural.

I can't believe that any man can sincerely refuse from having love life and become ascetic.

 

[Legzman]

I think marriage should be made illegal.

 

[thegod]

movies are shitty in that respect, they have to get the ball rolling i suppose

something like PS I Love You, she had sex with that guy 6 months after her husband died. SIX MONTHS! fvcking slut

i think its appropriate to live your life, and if love happens to come along, or if you meet somebody then thats okay. but absolutely nothing for about a year i reckon.

i mean if your feelings diminished before a year, i dont know what you were doing marrying that person in the first place

 

[ChefChiTown]

i mean if your feelings diminished before a year, i dont know what you were doing marrying that person in the first place

:thumbsup:

Personally, I believe that if your feelings for your wife/husband diminish at all throughout your lifetime, you shouldn't have married that person.

 

[L3ggy]

I'm totally like you Chef.

 

[anomaly]

Relationships aren't as significant as people believe they are. It's just someone you care about with whom one share's moments of intimacy. It's tough to lose someone you care about but life goes on. One may feel closeness with many during a lifetime.:yinyang:

 

[ChefChiTown]

Relationships aren't as significant as people believe they are. It's just someone you care about with whom one share's moments of intimacy. It's tough to lose someone you care about but life goes on. One may feel closeness with many during a lifetime.:yinyang:

No offense, but it's points of views like yours that are completely damaging to relationships. To each their own and I respect your point of view...I just don't really agree with it.

I'm an "old fashioned" kind of guy, so I'm probably not like most (I would assume). If I am going to dedicate my commitment to a woman, she'd better understand the significance of it. Dedicating your personal life, your love, your secrets, your fears, your time, your money, your entire life etc, etc, etc...how is that not significant? You're pretty much sacrificing everything you have in order to be with that person.

If one were to lose that through death, after a marriage has already taken place, how are you supposed to recover from that? Personally, I wouldn't be able to. I would never stop loving my wife if she died before I did and I would stay committed to her for the rest of my life, as I promised I would the very minute I said "I do".

But, that's just me.

:2 cents:

 

[anomaly]

No offense, but it's points of views like yours that are completely damaging to relationships.

I'm guessing you don't get involved with many women. If you want to be "old-fashioned" that's your business but I think you are setting yourself up to be hurt. My point of view is not damaging but freeing. We are all a random convergence of matter and energy and are all going to die one day. Don't take life too seriously. If can't get get over the grief of some who dies you will soon be joining them in the eternal dirt nap.:yinyang:

 

[No_Man]

I can only go off of my own experience... My dad died when I was four years old. My mom raised me and my two sisters on a preschool teacher's wage for 14 years completely alone. As far as I know, she's never even been on a date during that entire time. I can't honestly imagine what it would be like to lose my wife, but if my mom's example is any clue, its probably a lot like what ChefChiTown is suggesting. The vows are till death... the love is for life.

 

[Magnet]

I think more times then in real life if a spouse dies the other just looks for companion-ship or friendship. It isnt always about sex, or what have it.

When a spouse dies the other person will probably never forget the time they spent together and what not, but at the same time people have needs and wants so I can understand when people remarry.

 

[ChefChiTown]

I think more times then in real life if a spouse dies the other just looks for companion-ship or friendship. It isnt always about sex, or what have it.

When a spouse dies the other person will probably never forget the time they spent together and what not, but at the same time people have needs and wants so I can understand when people remarry.

I completely understand where you're coming from, but I don't really agree. The only "needs" that people have are food, clothing and shelter. IMHO, sex and companionship are wants and desires, not needs.

We live in a "sexually revolutionized" society that has taught us to believe that sex is something that we can't help but doing. No, that's not true.

I'm a man and, according to society's point of view, I am "supposed" to have as much sex as possible with as many women as I can. I do not live like that and I don't have the urge or desire to go "spread my seed", as some call it, so...does that mean there's something wrong with me? Hell no. It just means that I don't give into temptation just because society tells me that I'm "allowed to" and get away with it.

I have more respect for myself (and the women I would be sleeping with) than that. Not to say that if you live like that, you're a bad person. I just don't choose to live my life by what society tells me to.

:2 cents:

 

[maildude]

I like the Homer Simpson philosophy: "Marge...if I die, I want you to stuff me and put me on the coach, as a permanent reminder of our wedding vows."

 

[D-rock]

I agree with Chef. I don't think I could love more than one women in my life like that. I don't mind other people getting remarried, especially after the death of their spouse, but I don't think I could do it.

 

[Ashleigh]

I totally respect your views Chef and think its sweet you wish to remain committed to your spouse even after she's passed on.

However...myself, I mean yeah it would take YEARS to get over losing a husband...but I know I'll be open to dating when and if the time is right. Me and my bf have a running joke that if we get married and he dies before me, I'll be sluttin it up in the seniors home hahaha.

 

[Apex]

i would just never say never, no one really knows how they would react until it happens.
then all bets are off because you're treading on new ground

 

[bigbadbrody]

i fucking think this tv show is a load of crap

 

[ChefChiTown]

So, my aunt (who is like my second mother) has been a widow for around 7-8 years now and recently, she has been "seeing" this random ass dude that she knows from back when she was in high school (my aunt is almost 70). Apparently, she wants to have a relationship with this guy, but here is what I don't get...

Her husband (my uncle) died 7 or 8 years ago and she still cries when we talk about him. He was the only guy she had ever been with during her whole entire life. She has pictures of him all over her house (not in a creepy way though) and always talks about how perfect he was. With that being said, how can she all of a sudden just want to start dating some other guy and have a relationship?

I guess that is what confuses me the most about people "moving on" after the death of their husband/wife. How can you mourn their absence and feel heartache for their death, but, at the same time, want to get emotionally and sexually involved with some random ass person? To me, that's like trying to mix oil and water...it can't be done.

i fucking think this tv show is a load of crap

HUH? :wtf:

 

[bigbadbrody]

HUH? :wtf:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/'Til_Death