Q: What's the perfect gift for a dead baby?
A: A dead puppy.
Q: What screams and bangs on the glass?
A: A baby in a microwave.
Q: What cries and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A baby on a meathook.
Q: What's red, screams, and spins?
A: A baby in a blender.
Q: What has two legs and ******?
A: Half a dog.
Q: What's blue and wiggles?
A: A baby in a plastic bag.
Q: What's green and doesn't?
A: Same baby three weeks later.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Add root **** and two scoops of ice cream.
Q: What's blue, purple, pink, and sits in the corner?
A: A baby with a rubber band around it's neck.
Q: How do you **** a dead baby?
A: Hit it over the head really hard with a brick.
Q: What's red and sits in the corner?
A: A baby chewing a razor blade!
Q: When is it bed time at Michael Jacksons house?
A: When the big hand is on the little hand.
Q: What's blonde, had six legs and runs through Michael Jacksons dreams?
A: Hanson.
Q: What's small brown and warm and found in the back of little boys underwear?
A: Michael Jacksons Hand!
Q: What do you do after you've finished fucking a 5 year old girl?
A: Turn her over and pretend it's a boy!
Q: What's the worst thing about being a **********?
A: Having to go to bed at seven o'clock.
Q: What did the Jewish ********** say to the little boy once he was in the car?
A: Hey, go easy on the sweets
Q: What's the difference between a fridge and a queer?
A: A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out!
Q: What's the difference between a microwave and a queer?
A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat!
Q: What do Fat people do in the summertime ?
A: Stink.
Q: What goes "click click click, is that it?, click click click, is that it?..........."
A: A blind man with a Rubiks cube.
Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
A: Nail it's other hand to the floor.
Q: Why did Princess Di cross the road?
A: She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Q: Why can't Barbie get pregnant?
A: Because Ken comes in a different box.
Q: What turns a nine - stone weakling into a ******* stone man of steel?
A: Polio.
Q: Why do woman have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: What do the gynecologist and the pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it but can't eat it!
Q: Why does Hillary Clinton always climb on top?
A: Because Bill can only fuck up!
Q: What's the worst part about fucking a newborn baby?
A: Putting it in the body-bag when you're done!
Q: What's dangerous and eats nuts?
A: Syphilis.
Q: What is the best thing to say to an Arts student with a job?
A: "Big Mac and large fries please!".
Q: How many faggots does it take to put in a light bulb?
A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Q: What are the three reasons why anal sex is better then vaginal sex?
A: It's warmer, it's tighter, and it's more degrading to women.
Q. What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A. A **** victim
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy.
Q: What's ugly and ****** alone ?
A: Yoko Ono.
Q: What do you call Woody Woodpecker if his beak fell off?
A: Woody Headbanger
Q: What's 3 feet tall and gives me head?
A: My ***.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: You fuck her.
Q: What's 60 feet long and stinks of ****?
A: A conga in an old peoples home
Q: Did you hear about the blind skunk?
A: It fucked a piece of ****.
Q: Why don't roosters have hands?
A: Chickens don't have tits.
Q: What do you give a ****** with AIDS for Christmas?
A: Cancer!
Q. What do you do when the dishwasher quits working?
A. Smack her across the face.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: What is the difference between tampons and mobile phones ?
A: Mobile phones are for assholes.
Q: What do you call 4 dogs with no balls?
A: The Spice Girls!
Q: How many women does it take to paint a wall?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.
Q: What does Hillary Clinton do right after she shaves her pussy?
A: She sends him to work
Q. Why do women have tits ?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A. You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q. What do you call a 300 pound woman ?
A. Fat.
Q. Why didn't JFK, Jr. take a shower before he left for the Vineyard?
A. He said he'd wash up on shore!
Q. What will they name the movie about movie JFK, Jr.?
A. Eyes Wide Shut.
Q. What is better than winning a medal at the Paraplegic-olympics?
A. Having two legs.
Q. How do you give a woman an orgasm ?
A. Who cares !
Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A. He didn't have any arms.
Q. What's the worst thing about eating bald pussy?
A. The diaper.
Q: What's black and blue and smokes in the corner?
A: A baby chewing on an extention cord
Q: What do you call an Amish farmer with his arm halfway up his horses ass?
A: A mechanic
Q: What do you do after ****** a deaf, dumb and blind girl?
A: Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone
Q: What do you get if you cross a nun with a computer?
A: A system that won't go down.
Q: Did you here about the dyslexic Satanist......
A: He sold his soul to Santa
Q: Why isn't George Michael allowed to vote?
A: He can't go into a cubicle alone.
Q: Why do men have dicks?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut women up.
Q: Why don't women like to fish?
A: You have to shut the fuck up!
Q: What's the difference between a dick and a paycheck?
A: Women will blow paychecks without hesitation.
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A bitch who won't do what she's told.
Q: What's it called when a woman is ********* from the waist down?
A: Marriage.
Q: What's white, sticky, and hangs from the clouds?
A: The second coming.
Q: Why are hangovers better than women?
A: Hangovers go away.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Q: What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women nuts?
A: Money.
Q: Did you hear about the guy who figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anyone.
Q: What did King Kong say to Oprah Winfrey?
A: Is it in?
Q: What do Kermit the Frog and Roseanne Barr's husband have in common?
A: They both fuck pigs.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion and sand?
A: You can't eat sand.
Q: What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A: A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Q: What do you call a lesbian Playboy centerfold?
A: BITCH
A: A dead puppy.
Q: What screams and bangs on the glass?
A: A baby in a microwave.
Q: What cries and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A baby on a meathook.
Q: What's red, screams, and spins?
A: A baby in a blender.
Q: What has two legs and ******?
A: Half a dog.
Q: What's blue and wiggles?
A: A baby in a plastic bag.
Q: What's green and doesn't?
A: Same baby three weeks later.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Add root **** and two scoops of ice cream.
Q: What's blue, purple, pink, and sits in the corner?
A: A baby with a rubber band around it's neck.
Q: How do you **** a dead baby?
A: Hit it over the head really hard with a brick.
Q: What's red and sits in the corner?
A: A baby chewing a razor blade!
Q: When is it bed time at Michael Jacksons house?
A: When the big hand is on the little hand.
Q: What's blonde, had six legs and runs through Michael Jacksons dreams?
A: Hanson.
Q: What's small brown and warm and found in the back of little boys underwear?
A: Michael Jacksons Hand!
Q: What do you do after you've finished fucking a 5 year old girl?
A: Turn her over and pretend it's a boy!
Q: What's the worst thing about being a **********?
A: Having to go to bed at seven o'clock.
Q: What did the Jewish ********** say to the little boy once he was in the car?
A: Hey, go easy on the sweets
Q: What's the difference between a fridge and a queer?
A: A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out!
Q: What's the difference between a microwave and a queer?
A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat!
Q: What do Fat people do in the summertime ?
A: Stink.
Q: What goes "click click click, is that it?, click click click, is that it?..........."
A: A blind man with a Rubiks cube.
Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
A: Nail it's other hand to the floor.
Q: Why did Princess Di cross the road?
A: She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Q: Why can't Barbie get pregnant?
A: Because Ken comes in a different box.
Q: What turns a nine - stone weakling into a ******* stone man of steel?
A: Polio.
Q: Why do woman have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: What do the gynecologist and the pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it but can't eat it!
Q: Why does Hillary Clinton always climb on top?
A: Because Bill can only fuck up!
Q: What's the worst part about fucking a newborn baby?
A: Putting it in the body-bag when you're done!
Q: What's dangerous and eats nuts?
A: Syphilis.
Q: What is the best thing to say to an Arts student with a job?
A: "Big Mac and large fries please!".
Q: How many faggots does it take to put in a light bulb?
A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Q: What are the three reasons why anal sex is better then vaginal sex?
A: It's warmer, it's tighter, and it's more degrading to women.
Q. What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A. A **** victim
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy.
Q: What's ugly and ****** alone ?
A: Yoko Ono.
Q: What do you call Woody Woodpecker if his beak fell off?
A: Woody Headbanger
Q: What's 3 feet tall and gives me head?
A: My ***.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: You fuck her.
Q: What's 60 feet long and stinks of ****?
A: A conga in an old peoples home
Q: Did you hear about the blind skunk?
A: It fucked a piece of ****.
Q: Why don't roosters have hands?
A: Chickens don't have tits.
Q: What do you give a ****** with AIDS for Christmas?
A: Cancer!
Q. What do you do when the dishwasher quits working?
A. Smack her across the face.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: What is the difference between tampons and mobile phones ?
A: Mobile phones are for assholes.
Q: What do you call 4 dogs with no balls?
A: The Spice Girls!
Q: How many women does it take to paint a wall?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.
Q: What does Hillary Clinton do right after she shaves her pussy?
A: She sends him to work
Q. Why do women have tits ?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A. You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q. What do you call a 300 pound woman ?
A. Fat.
Q. Why didn't JFK, Jr. take a shower before he left for the Vineyard?
A. He said he'd wash up on shore!
Q. What will they name the movie about movie JFK, Jr.?
A. Eyes Wide Shut.
Q. What is better than winning a medal at the Paraplegic-olympics?
A. Having two legs.
Q. How do you give a woman an orgasm ?
A. Who cares !
Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A. He didn't have any arms.
Q. What's the worst thing about eating bald pussy?
A. The diaper.
Q: What's black and blue and smokes in the corner?
A: A baby chewing on an extention cord
Q: What do you call an Amish farmer with his arm halfway up his horses ass?
A: A mechanic
Q: What do you do after ****** a deaf, dumb and blind girl?
A: Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone
Q: What do you get if you cross a nun with a computer?
A: A system that won't go down.
Q: Did you here about the dyslexic Satanist......
A: He sold his soul to Santa
Q: Why isn't George Michael allowed to vote?
A: He can't go into a cubicle alone.
Q: Why do men have dicks?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut women up.
Q: Why don't women like to fish?
A: You have to shut the fuck up!
Q: What's the difference between a dick and a paycheck?
A: Women will blow paychecks without hesitation.
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A bitch who won't do what she's told.
Q: What's it called when a woman is ********* from the waist down?
A: Marriage.
Q: What's white, sticky, and hangs from the clouds?
A: The second coming.
Q: Why are hangovers better than women?
A: Hangovers go away.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Q: What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women nuts?
A: Money.
Q: Did you hear about the guy who figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anyone.
Q: What did King Kong say to Oprah Winfrey?
A: Is it in?
Q: What do Kermit the Frog and Roseanne Barr's husband have in common?
A: They both fuck pigs.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion and sand?
A: You can't eat sand.
Q: What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A: A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Q: What do you call a lesbian Playboy centerfold?
A: BITCH
