The Weird ***** Thread

[tunsty]

Had any strange or weird dreams lately?
Why not amuse and scare us all, by posting them here..

Here's one I had a few months back..

Okay, I'm in the USA, not sure where, and I'm sitting in a bar.
Next thing, two detectives come in and start talking to me.
One is dark-haired, medium height, the other is tall with fair hair.
Scarily, the skin is sagging from the tall guy's face... like when someone loses a lot of weight and they have all that excess skin.
Anyway, he starts talking:
"We need to ask you some questions"
"About what?" I say
He ignores my question and says "First we need to give you an *********" at this point he brings out a syringe.
I say "You're not fucking injecting me with anything" and I get up and have a tussle with both of the men.
I manage to knock them to the ground, run outside, where it's dark and I just end up running around the empty streets, lost.
All the time I'm thinking 'I can't run forever.. I don't know where I'm going'

Fortunately the ***** ended there.. and, no I've never been to the U.S. so it didn't happen!

 

[maildude]

I was watching ESPN today and they had on one of the Scripps Howard Spelling Bees from whenever, because there are no sports to air. Anyway, it reminded me of a ***** I had a while back....

It's 1919. And I'm in one of those fancy horseless carriages, driving down Eagle Street in some big town...I saw the street sign while I was ogling women in hoopskirts. So I look down at my lap for a watch to pull out of the pocket in my fancy duds, that's when I realize I'm wearing a Batman costume. Then I saw Jerry Springer selling newspapers on the corner, and he was getting them out of this barrel, like the ones you see in construction zones. So I say to myself, "The headline probably has something to do with the coronavirus." But then I realize that the World Series was canceled, because all the Chicago players got caught stealing money from gumball machines. Right about then my fourth grade teacher turns around in the front seat, and I realize I'm not driving, instead now I'm in a cab and she's the driver. She says, "Where's your mask?" So I reach down and pull up a big, bulky, complicated-looking helmet and I don't know how to put it on my head. So she says, "You're Superman, you can figure it out." Then she stops the cab and I roll out onto the street and she drives off, and I'm outside the entrance to a Burger King. I realize I'm hungry but they're not letting anyone inside unless they're wearing after shave. Then that thing happens where you realize you're dreaming, you know, the gig is up in your head, so you just say, "What the fuck. I might as well jack this ***** up now because it's ruined anyway." So I start yelling as loud as I can, "Hey...fuck the after shave! Us postal workers shouldn't even be at work with this polio crisis going around!!" Then I notice a bunch of loose change laying around on the ground, and I realize that if I can scoop up enough, maybe I can get a Whopper Jr. But before I can get even one coin, I **** up.

Well...that's it. Crazy, huh? Maybe I wanted some burgers or baseball or turn-of-the-century sex, or I don't know what. But what a ***** that was, huh?

 

[Torre82]

That is oddly specific.

 

[maildude]

That is oddly specific.