The 15 Commandments of the Porn Universe.

[Trinidad Gyrl]

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. When going down on a woman 10 secs is more than satisfactory.
3. Women will smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
4. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding fine.
5. Asian men have vanished in pornland.
6. Nurses always suck patients cocks.
7. So do female doctors.
8. Women that order pizza are always short of cash so they get naked instead.
9. Women never have headaches... or periods.
10. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange dude, she will not
scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
11. If a man breaks into a lone woman's house she will not call the cops but blow him and ride him instead.
12. When getting a blowjob a man must say "suck it" to the woman several times.
13. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend,
she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
14. Your best friend's mom or dad will always comfort your depression by making love to you.
15. Guys are impotent 0.4% of the time.

 

[GregCentauro]

6. Nurses always suck patients cocks.

:rubbel:

http://www.imagebam.com/image/2e0e3d93664837

 

[Trinidad Gyrl]

Oh you know it happened later Greg!

 

[Mayhem]

5. Asian men have vanished in pornland.

 

[L3ggy]

How do you know that Mayhem?

 

[LukeEl]

How about the 4 Commandments of Girl Girl Porn:

4. The roomate will always consol you when the captain of the football team stands you up on a date.
3. Two girls complimenting each other on new shoe purchases always leads to a lesbo romp
2. Sharing a bottle of wine after a divorce always leads to some Sapphic sexcapades
1. Lezzie passions are rekindled every 5 years at the sorirty house reunion.

 

[Member442]

Interesting thread. I like 10! should be true in real life.

 

[Dawn_Marie]

LOL, this was great...

 

[vodkazvictim]

16: Any man receiving a BJ must adopt the tosser pose; one hand on hip, one hand on givers head.

17: Women love it if you stick your cock up their arse without a condom, then make them suck it clean.

18: Asian women squeak during sex.

19: Women will sleep with moustachio'd men.

20: Women recieve physical pleasure from performing fellatio and will audibly moan with said pleasure while fellating.

21: If you hold a womans head still and fuck it like it was a pussy, she won't mind at all. (Seriously, none of the women I've done this to enjoyed it, if any woman enjoys a throat-fucking, please post below telling me so and then give me your address so I can come around with flowers and a ring and propose.)

22: Penetrating a womans arse won't result in a fart so stinky that you have to abandon the sodomizing to open a window. (this happened to me, if only I lived in pornland it would not have).

 

[D-rock]

There are a couple of threads that pretty much cover this subject that exist already. I think one or two of them might be relatively large.

 

[Da Mad Blogger]

all of these are good! keep it going

 

[knowone]

There are a couple of threads that pretty much cover this subject that exist already. I think one or two of them might be relatively large.

As I mentioned in one of them: During the 70s women couldn't have sex unless they had a scarf around their neck.

 

[Mr_A]

*Thou shalt not steal Porn

*Thou shalt not speak while shooting porn ( for non-performers, the camera-man to be precise)

*Thou shalt not pay bills, let bang thine wife

*Thou shalt give lift to woman and do not accept any thanks or money, then they have sex with thou

*Thou shalt beware of dancing bear, it does more than the dance

*Thou shalt not let thy daughter stay with your horny hunky friend, thee might watch daddysfriend.com live

:angels:

 

[Nester6]

Fucking is the only true joy in life!

 

[bustybbwlover]

:rubbel:http://www.imagebam.com/image/2e0e3d93664837

6. Nurses always suck patients cocks.

no wonder that patient looks so concerned

 

[Trinidad Gyrl]

21: If you hold a womans head still and fuck it like it was a pussy, she won't mind at all. (Seriously, none of the women I've done this to enjoyed it, if any woman enjoys a throat-fucking, please post below telling me so and then give me your address so I can come around with flowers and a ring and propose.)

Hmmm, you guys don't get around much! Sometimes if we feel nasty enough! Some-times.

I'm in California - That is all I'll say!

 

[vodkazvictim]

Hmmm, you guys don't get around much! Sometimes if we feel nasty enough! Some-times.

I'm in California - That is all I'll say!

I get around plenty, just never been to the states.
I'm moving to California. That's all Ill say.

 

[rizwano]

i love No 10

 

[maildude]

Commandment #16: Only ripped guys with abnormally and probably surgically-created cocks, tattoos, piercings, and shitty acting abilities need apply.