Hello all,
I have been chatting to my wife and others about this and trying to find some peace within myself.
OK so this is an example I have been chatting to my wife about and others who are not in the swinging scene and a mix of people, some who are older and prudish and all sorts and I have been given various answers.
So example is, last time I was at a very busy beach with my wife on a very hot day, naturally I was surrounded by a huge amount of very beautiful women, most pretty much naked in bikinis which were barley visible and gstring/thongs bottoms. I tried with as much will power as humanely possible not to look too much and I certainly did not stare as to make any woman uncomfortable but I am sorry to say I did feel sexual attraction and arousal to many women and found it impossible not too, unless I had worn a blind fold there was no other way around it.
Now the responses I have had from others from saying the above have been a range from:
"You are misogynistic about your attitude towards women"
"Ofcourse you did not have to feel sexual attraction to any of those women at the beach, you just have to have self control and just not look at any of them and if you did not to allow yourself to feel any sexual attraction"
"Well I am a man and I can assure you I would not feel any sexual attraction/arousal or any feeling of wanting to have sex with any naked or almost naked women at the beach, I would only feel sexual attraction after having a coffee and developing an emotional attachment first"
"You are just seeing women as objects to fulfil a sexual desire"
"As a woman, and I speak for most women, we simply have to have an emotional connect with a man before being able to experience any sexual attraction to a man"
I actually agree with the last statement as I think this is true for most women, some women however this is not the case with and non emotional sex is fine and some women are sexually attracted to a man on first sight, but in the minority I think.
So would anyone agree with me this is correct? I believe most men are aroused sexually by visual stimuli and I believe if most men were at a busy beach on a hot day surrounded by many good looking naked/almost naked women with thongs/g strings (or even somewhere else on a hot day surrounded by lots of good looking women in leggings and clothing showing off their breasts etc most men would be aroused sexually and it would be impossible to avoid unless the wore a blindfold. This is what I think is true and the amount of being treated like some kind of pathetic dirt for this being true for me and what I believe is true for most men, I think it is uncalled for. As I believe this is simply a biological fact for most men and is nothing to do with a man objectifying/sexualizing women at all, its the way most men are designed biologically. To say "ohh you can control it and not look" I think its impossible for most men, maybe some can do it, but for me I have tried to for years and it was impossible and think it probably is impossible for most men. Also I think alot of men refuse to admit to this fact as they know it will not make them popular to admit it to their wife or in society as they know they would be condemned for thinking this way and basically want to come across as "ohh what real gentleman, a perfect man" and basically virtual signal to people their so called greatness but are not man enough to admit it due to the reprisals they would get. I am sure some men could be a beach all day and not once feel sexual attraction to any of the naked/sexy women around them unless they enjoyed a cup of coffee and a chat and developed an emotional connect first but I doubt theres many. I think it takes guts in our society today to admit to this to be honest.
Please I hope I am not alone in my feelings on this?
I have been chatting to my wife and others about this and trying to find some peace within myself.
OK so this is an example I have been chatting to my wife about and others who are not in the swinging scene and a mix of people, some who are older and prudish and all sorts and I have been given various answers.
So example is, last time I was at a very busy beach with my wife on a very hot day, naturally I was surrounded by a huge amount of very beautiful women, most pretty much naked in bikinis which were barley visible and gstring/thongs bottoms. I tried with as much will power as humanely possible not to look too much and I certainly did not stare as to make any woman uncomfortable but I am sorry to say I did feel sexual attraction and arousal to many women and found it impossible not too, unless I had worn a blind fold there was no other way around it.
Now the responses I have had from others from saying the above have been a range from:
"You are misogynistic about your attitude towards women"
"Ofcourse you did not have to feel sexual attraction to any of those women at the beach, you just have to have self control and just not look at any of them and if you did not to allow yourself to feel any sexual attraction"
"Well I am a man and I can assure you I would not feel any sexual attraction/arousal or any feeling of wanting to have sex with any naked or almost naked women at the beach, I would only feel sexual attraction after having a coffee and developing an emotional attachment first"
"You are just seeing women as objects to fulfil a sexual desire"
"As a woman, and I speak for most women, we simply have to have an emotional connect with a man before being able to experience any sexual attraction to a man"
I actually agree with the last statement as I think this is true for most women, some women however this is not the case with and non emotional sex is fine and some women are sexually attracted to a man on first sight, but in the minority I think.
So would anyone agree with me this is correct? I believe most men are aroused sexually by visual stimuli and I believe if most men were at a busy beach on a hot day surrounded by many good looking naked/almost naked women with thongs/g strings (or even somewhere else on a hot day surrounded by lots of good looking women in leggings and clothing showing off their breasts etc most men would be aroused sexually and it would be impossible to avoid unless the wore a blindfold. This is what I think is true and the amount of being treated like some kind of pathetic dirt for this being true for me and what I believe is true for most men, I think it is uncalled for. As I believe this is simply a biological fact for most men and is nothing to do with a man objectifying/sexualizing women at all, its the way most men are designed biologically. To say "ohh you can control it and not look" I think its impossible for most men, maybe some can do it, but for me I have tried to for years and it was impossible and think it probably is impossible for most men. Also I think alot of men refuse to admit to this fact as they know it will not make them popular to admit it to their wife or in society as they know they would be condemned for thinking this way and basically want to come across as "ohh what real gentleman, a perfect man" and basically virtual signal to people their so called greatness but are not man enough to admit it due to the reprisals they would get. I am sure some men could be a beach all day and not once feel sexual attraction to any of the naked/sexy women around them unless they enjoyed a cup of coffee and a chat and developed an emotional connect first but I doubt theres many. I think it takes guts in our society today to admit to this to be honest.
Please I hope I am not alone in my feelings on this?
