Sam Fisher
Banned
The Anatomy of a Fart
We've all dealt them and smelled them, but what is the science behind them?
Chemical Makeup of the Average Fart
● 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane and 4% oxygen — all essentially odorless. (Less than 1% is what makes farts stink.)
The Stench Comes...
● ...from minuscule amounts of ammonia, hydrogen sulfide and excrement, which can be smelled at 1 part per 100 million parts air.
The Gas...
● ...that gives farts that special stench is hydrogen sulfide.
The More Sulfur-Rich...
● ...your diet, the more your farts will stink.
Foods that...
● ...cause your flatulence to reek include beans, cabbage, cheese, eggs and soda.
Beans, Cabbage...
● ...mushrooms and onions cause a lot of gas because they contain complex
sugars that your body can’t digest.
Throwin’ Heat
● Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.
Fill ’er Up
● 1 quart (or 600 ml) — the average amount of gas a guy with a relatively healthy diet lets out every day
14
● The average number of times each person rips one daily Who Would’ve Thought?
● Women fart as much as men — they’re just not quite as proud of them.
A Fart
98.6 Temperature of a fart at time of creation
There Are Hundreds of Slang Terms...
● ...for flatulence. Here are 10 of our favorites: ass biscuit, barking spider, bean blower, cheek flapper, crack splitter, death breeze, fog slicer, mud duck, spit a brick and strangling the stank monkey.
Cropdusting (from Urban Dictionary )
● The act of ripping a potent air bomb indoors, then moving briskly to the other end of the room to stay ahead of your own stench, which “dusts” the room with your flatulence in the process.
When in Rome
● Apparently we’re not the only civilization to appreciate the sounds of flatulence. Roman Emperor Elagabulus was known to punk his royal guests at dinner parties with a primitive version of the whoopee cushion. The modern
version was re-invented in 1930 by employees of the JEM Rubber Co. who were experimenting with scrap sheets of rubber.
5,000
● The number of people to break the world record for sitting on whoopee cushions simultaneously (at a hockey game in Moline, Illinois)
Methane Myth
● Fart noise is generated by the flapping of butt cheeks.
3 Things That Crank Up the Decibels of an Ass Blast
1) The amount of gas
2) The force with which it’s expelled
3) The tightness of the sphincter muscles
Sphincter Showdown: Vegetarians vs. Carnivores
● Vegetarians actually pass more gas; it’s just quieter due to their larger stools and looser sphincters.
Carnivores May...
● ...have less gas but they blow a mightier horn thanks to their tighter sphincters.
Got Gas?
● People who are lactose intolerant have been known to cause quite a stink upon consuming dairy products. Keep in mind that whey is a milk-based product. So if your lactose challenges are responsible for much reek, consider a nondairy protein supplement such as soy or hemp.
True or False?
● Can a flame be lit with flatulence? True. The art of fart-lighting (or blue-darting, zorching or gas lamping, as it’s also called) is the practice of setting fire to the gases from one’s backside, often producing a blue hue. But before you point that blowtorch toward your blowhole, know that many a dumbass has been burned by this asinine stunt.
Quick Tips to Reduce the Output
1) Eat smaller meals.
2) Eat slower. You’ll gulp less air and fart less often.
3) Stay calm. According to the Mayo Clinic, eating during stress can impede digestion.
4) Exercise. Studies show most types of exercise alleviate
gas pain.
:hatsoff:
We've all dealt them and smelled them, but what is the science behind them?
Chemical Makeup of the Average Fart
● 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane and 4% oxygen — all essentially odorless. (Less than 1% is what makes farts stink.)
The Stench Comes...
● ...from minuscule amounts of ammonia, hydrogen sulfide and excrement, which can be smelled at 1 part per 100 million parts air.
The Gas...
● ...that gives farts that special stench is hydrogen sulfide.
The More Sulfur-Rich...
● ...your diet, the more your farts will stink.
Foods that...
● ...cause your flatulence to reek include beans, cabbage, cheese, eggs and soda.
Beans, Cabbage...
● ...mushrooms and onions cause a lot of gas because they contain complex
sugars that your body can’t digest.
Throwin’ Heat
● Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.
Fill ’er Up
● 1 quart (or 600 ml) — the average amount of gas a guy with a relatively healthy diet lets out every day
14
● The average number of times each person rips one daily Who Would’ve Thought?
● Women fart as much as men — they’re just not quite as proud of them.
A Fart
98.6 Temperature of a fart at time of creation
There Are Hundreds of Slang Terms...
● ...for flatulence. Here are 10 of our favorites: ass biscuit, barking spider, bean blower, cheek flapper, crack splitter, death breeze, fog slicer, mud duck, spit a brick and strangling the stank monkey.
Cropdusting (from Urban Dictionary )
● The act of ripping a potent air bomb indoors, then moving briskly to the other end of the room to stay ahead of your own stench, which “dusts” the room with your flatulence in the process.
When in Rome
● Apparently we’re not the only civilization to appreciate the sounds of flatulence. Roman Emperor Elagabulus was known to punk his royal guests at dinner parties with a primitive version of the whoopee cushion. The modern
version was re-invented in 1930 by employees of the JEM Rubber Co. who were experimenting with scrap sheets of rubber.
5,000
● The number of people to break the world record for sitting on whoopee cushions simultaneously (at a hockey game in Moline, Illinois)
Methane Myth
● Fart noise is generated by the flapping of butt cheeks.
3 Things That Crank Up the Decibels of an Ass Blast
1) The amount of gas
2) The force with which it’s expelled
3) The tightness of the sphincter muscles
Sphincter Showdown: Vegetarians vs. Carnivores
● Vegetarians actually pass more gas; it’s just quieter due to their larger stools and looser sphincters.
Carnivores May...
● ...have less gas but they blow a mightier horn thanks to their tighter sphincters.
Got Gas?
● People who are lactose intolerant have been known to cause quite a stink upon consuming dairy products. Keep in mind that whey is a milk-based product. So if your lactose challenges are responsible for much reek, consider a nondairy protein supplement such as soy or hemp.
True or False?
● Can a flame be lit with flatulence? True. The art of fart-lighting (or blue-darting, zorching or gas lamping, as it’s also called) is the practice of setting fire to the gases from one’s backside, often producing a blue hue. But before you point that blowtorch toward your blowhole, know that many a dumbass has been burned by this asinine stunt.
Quick Tips to Reduce the Output
1) Eat smaller meals.
2) Eat slower. You’ll gulp less air and fart less often.
3) Stay calm. According to the Mayo Clinic, eating during stress can impede digestion.
4) Exercise. Studies show most types of exercise alleviate
gas pain.
:hatsoff:
... yeeeeeah... well, uh... um. Huh.
