Post your fav Dirty Joke!
- Thread starter BCT
- Start date
A white horse fell in Mud :dunno:
Here it goes:
Little Johnny and little Susy are in sex ed.
After class little Susy says to Johnny, "Johnny, I am having a real tough time with this penis thing".
Little Johnny says "you know, I am too..."
after a moment Johnny says "I know, I will ask my mom; she knows everything!"
Later that nigh Johnny asks his Mom, "Mom, whats a penis?"
His mom replies "Johnny I think this is one for your Dad"
So little Johnny goes out to the garage and asks "Dad, what is a penis?"
Johnny's Dad looks at him and says "well son, I can't tell ya, I am going to have to show you"
So right then and there little Johny's Dad whips it out
"oh wow!" little Johnny exclaims
"and this is a perfect penis" little Johnny's dad said
So the next day little Johnny says to little Susie "I found out what a penis is" with great excitement,
Susie asks "Well what is it"
Little johnny replies "I can't tell ya, I'm gonna have to show you"
So right then and there he whips it out
"oh wow!" little Susie exclaims
Then little Johnny said "and if it were half the size, it would be a perfect penis!"
Little Johnny and little Susy are in sex ed.
After class little Susy says to Johnny, "Johnny, I am having a real tough time with this penis thing".
Little Johnny says "you know, I am too..."
after a moment Johnny says "I know, I will ask my mom; she knows everything!"
Later that nigh Johnny asks his Mom, "Mom, whats a penis?"
His mom replies "Johnny I think this is one for your Dad"
So little Johnny goes out to the garage and asks "Dad, what is a penis?"
Johnny's Dad looks at him and says "well son, I can't tell ya, I am going to have to show you"
So right then and there little Johny's Dad whips it out
"oh wow!" little Johnny exclaims
"and this is a perfect penis" little Johnny's dad said
So the next day little Johnny says to little Susie "I found out what a penis is" with great excitement,
Susie asks "Well what is it"
Little johnny replies "I can't tell ya, I'm gonna have to show you"
So right then and there he whips it out
"oh wow!" little Susie exclaims
Then little Johnny said "and if it were half the size, it would be a perfect penis!"
I don't know if it's dirty but it's my favorite.
A kid goes fishing with his grandpa, while they are out on the lake the grandpa opens a beer and starts drinking.
The kid says “grandpa can I have a beer.”
The grandpa replies “Can your dick touch your asshole?”
“No it can’t grandpa, why did you ask?”
“Well Timmy,” the grandpa says “in our family men aren’t allowed to drink beer until their dick can touch their asshole.”
Later they’re sitting on the dock cleaning their fish when the grandpa lights a cigarette.
The kid says “grandpa can I have a cigarette.”
The grandpa replies “Can your dick touch your asshole?”
“No it can’t grandpa, I already told you that.”
“Well Timmy,” the grandpa says “in our family men aren’t allowed to smoke until their dick can touch their asshole.”
That night they are sitting in the grandpa’s house and the kid is eating some cookies with a large glass of milk.
The grandpa says “Timmy can I have some cookies?”
The kid replies “Can your dick touch your asshole?”
“Of course it can.”
“Good” the kid says “Go fuck yourself cause these are my goddamned cookies.”
A kid goes fishing with his grandpa, while they are out on the lake the grandpa opens a beer and starts drinking.
The kid says “grandpa can I have a beer.”
The grandpa replies “Can your dick touch your asshole?”
“No it can’t grandpa, why did you ask?”
“Well Timmy,” the grandpa says “in our family men aren’t allowed to drink beer until their dick can touch their asshole.”
Later they’re sitting on the dock cleaning their fish when the grandpa lights a cigarette.
The kid says “grandpa can I have a cigarette.”
The grandpa replies “Can your dick touch your asshole?”
“No it can’t grandpa, I already told you that.”
“Well Timmy,” the grandpa says “in our family men aren’t allowed to smoke until their dick can touch their asshole.”
That night they are sitting in the grandpa’s house and the kid is eating some cookies with a large glass of milk.
The grandpa says “Timmy can I have some cookies?”
The kid replies “Can your dick touch your asshole?”
“Of course it can.”
“Good” the kid says “Go fuck yourself cause these are my goddamned cookies.”
Ace Boobtoucher
Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
bahodeme
Closed Account
Superman was in the Fortress of Solitude. He decided to see what the other superheroes were up to.
He went to see Batman. When he got to Gotham City, he saw Batman was on a date as Bruce Wayne.
So he decided to check on Aquaman. When he got to their cave, he saw Aquaman & Minnow playing Twister alone.
Superman decided 3 would be a crowd so he went to see Wonder Woman.
When he got to her apartment, he saw through her window, that she was on the bed, disrobed and legs apart.
He watched for a moment then thought to himself "It has been awhile since I've had sex maybe...no I shouldn't".
Then the more superman looked the stronger the urge hit him. "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I'll be done and gone before she'll notice".
He disrobes, flies in, haves sex & was gone in a blink of an eye.
Wonder Woman look around and asks "What was that?!" The Invisisble Man said "I don't know. But now my ass hurts like hell!"
(I'm pretty sure there are other versions of this joke. This is one that was told to me.)
He went to see Batman. When he got to Gotham City, he saw Batman was on a date as Bruce Wayne.
So he decided to check on Aquaman. When he got to their cave, he saw Aquaman & Minnow playing Twister alone.
Superman decided 3 would be a crowd so he went to see Wonder Woman.
When he got to her apartment, he saw through her window, that she was on the bed, disrobed and legs apart.
He watched for a moment then thought to himself "It has been awhile since I've had sex maybe...no I shouldn't".
Then the more superman looked the stronger the urge hit him. "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I'll be done and gone before she'll notice".
He disrobes, flies in, haves sex & was gone in a blink of an eye.
Wonder Woman look around and asks "What was that?!" The Invisisble Man said "I don't know. But now my ass hurts like hell!"
(I'm pretty sure there are other versions of this joke. This is one that was told to me.)
Superman was in the Fortress of Solitude. He decided to see what the other superheroes were up to.
He went to see Batman. When he got to Gotham City, he saw Batman was on a date as Bruce Wayne.
So he decided to check on Aquaman. When he got to their cave, he saw Aquaman & Minnow playing Twister alone.
Superman decided 3 would be a crowd so he went to see Wonder Woman.
When he got to her apartment, he saw through her window, that she was on the bed, disrobed and legs apart.
He watched for a moment then thought to himself "It has been awhile since I've had sex maybe...no I shouldn't".
Then the more superman looked the stronger the urge hit him. "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I'll be done and gone before she'll notice".
He disrobes, flies in, haves sex & was gone in a blink of an eye.
Wonder Woman look around and asks "What was that?!" The Invisisble Man said "I don't know. But now my ass hurts like hell!"
(I'm pretty sure there are other versions of this joke. This is one that was told to me.)
I've been hearing that joke for years. It's fundamentally flawed because the Invisible Man is not a character from DC comics.
