Online Porn Website Pet Peeves

[wdfadude]

Yes, there's another thread for porn pet peeves in general (like for DVDs and everything else), but what are your pet peeves SPECIFICALLY for online porn, in particular how porn websites present stuff like pictorials?

Here are mine:

1. When the photos in the pictorials are "out of order". This bizarre practice started a couple of years ago for some reason. Yes, it's a very "1st World Problem", but why do online pictorials show the models at differing stages of undressing? The first 6 photos the model is totally naked, and the next ones they're fully clothed. Huh?

2. Pop-up ads for Live Jasmin. 'Nuff said.

3. When a thumbnail image link goes to another TGP web page, and NOT the model in the thumbnail image. (And worse, subsequent links go to an endless chain of TGP pages, forcing you to have 15 tabs open.) C'mon - I just wanna see more of the hotty in the first thumbnail!

4. When a link doesn't take you directly to the pictorial, and you're forced to hunt around the website to find it (One big offender: any link going to http://www.lanasbigboobs.com/).

5. When a link goes to Bullz-Eye. It's the online porn equivalent to the Darth Vader "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

6. Sunglasses and/or no eye contact with the camera. Sorry, I like to look at the model's eyes...SO much beauty and sensuality can be seen in them. That's like asking a girl with the perfect rack to keep paper bags over her tits throughout the entire photoshoot.

7. When the models have THE EXACT SAME poses in photo set after photo set, just with different clothes on. I seriously think that these girls should work with a variety of photographers.

8. When the models just kind of stand there in all their photo shoots. Or have the same bland facial expressions. Boring. (One of the biggest examples of this was Ala Passtel / Gabriela. She was one of the most AMAZINGLY beautiful big-breasted and perfect-bodied woman ever to appear on this planet. But by god, most of her photo sets are lackluster! :crying: )

9. Lesbian scenes. Typically one of the girls is really unattractive, and the photographer often puts more emphasis on her than the attractive on in the photoshoot. Hey, ugly girl...just get out of the way and let me see the hot one!!! Lesbian porn is basically lame anyway.

10. Fake "reality" stuff like Bangbus or amateur stuff that really uses seasoned professional porn actresses.

11. In videos, when the camera man won't just shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear little humorous comments or dumbass obvious observations ("Wow! Those are some huge titties!") through the vid.

12. Too many girls who look "worn-out" and skanky...they are overly skinny, have ugly fake plastic tits, are overly tanned, have 70 tattoos all over their body by the time they're 23 years old, too many piercings. There are simply WAY too many videos and photos of these boring whores all over the web. I would like to see more natural girls in the industry!

Any that I'm missing?

 

[Aaliyah Love]

I agree with all except
6. I like wearing sunglasses in pics, but I usually only wear them for half of the time or less. You gotta show your eyes in the pics, too! and
9. for obvious reasons And
1. I have never seen this happen but it would drive the OCD girl inside of me INSANE!

 

[wdfadude]

Yep, #1 happens in about 1/4 of the online pictorials I see. It's not an "end of the world"-type problem, but makes me go, "HUH?"

 

[D-rock]

As far as porn related websites go one of my top pet peeves (or it was when I used to visit them) is when picture gallery or thumbnail sites "circle jerk" people and send somebody other than to the link where those pictures they are showing are hosted. Usually it's to another site like them that does the same thing. It's become so pervasive that about 95%+ of those sites are totally worthless now, and have been for a long time. It's even rarer that one of those sites doesn't employ the practice at all. Then they wonder why people never visit them anymore. It's like everybody at once decided to get so greedy in trying to direct traffic to themselves by any means that they collectively killed themselves with that crap. In my view any site like that that doesn't send the surfer to where they expect to go at least on 9/10ths of the pictured links they hit is unethical and shouldn't exist, and even that depends on where they send people and what data they collect.

I once had an idea that FreeOnes should have a rating system for them similar to what it has for the Adult Pay Sites review section so people here could know which ones are basically scams, which is most of them, and it could tell people which of the few ones are worth it. (Not that people get or even need to go to them as much anymore.) Every so often random visits and reviews by members or staff here could keep them strait. I feel if some well known, reliable, and ethical rating system was around for them ten years ago it would have forced most of them to act right or be shoved out of existence by the ones that did.

 

[sean miguel]

No zip file downloads (which is a rarity these days)- I really enjoy right click saving 50 pics in a set.
Not being able to view all thumbnails in a single page - getting to page 6 before the first ass spread shot.
Having to enter a security code every time I log in - I understand the need for this but it's just tedious to do one-handed.
Joining a site because you come across a particularly hot sample video or photoset only to find out that set isn't on the site.

Yeah, first world problems to be sure.

 

[EggMcMoofin]

I can go along with pretty much everything said here but I'd like to add some of my own....

Shoddy image quality. Some sites just put up a bunch of vidcaps and say "Hey we got pics!". Images should be high-resolution JPEGs created by a DSLR and there should be at least 100 or more in a downloadable zip file.

Low-bitrate HD video. This isn't 2008 anymore and you shouldn't be shooting on any camera that is as advanced as what was around in 2004. HD video downloads should be 1.5 GB or larger.

Using 100% straight models for girl-on-girl work. I want to see real girl-on-girl.

Extensive JavaScript. Porn sites shouldn't have anything beyond basic scripting.

Automatic sign-ups for other sits with site memberships. I fucking hate it and it needs to stop. It's just wrong, especially when you have to manually cancel the membership through a drawn-out process.

Sites that have been running for years with no updates that have changed owners 2-3 times or more. I've seen a bunch of old sites from years ago that are still running but have no updates at all and are no longer maintained or even supported properly by current owners.

Lack of video downloads. Vids should always be downloadable. Streaming only doesn't cut it.

Multiple video formats for downloading. Everything should be h.264. No WMV, DivX, Quicktime, and whatever else is out there.

4:3 page layouts. All monitors outside of the business world are 16:9 widescreen.

Improperly encoded videos. I've seen a bunch of stuff from sites like Nuru Massage, Massage Parlor, and Soapy Massage that were not properly encoded for 16:9, despite being shot in 16:9.

Rotating updates. Some sites actually rotate the content in and out of availability and will make it look like they are updating regularly when they are certainly not.

 

[Patrick_S]

Rotating updates. Some sites actually rotate the content in and out of availability and will make it look like they are updating regularly when they are certainly not.

Yes! It´s totally unbelievable to me that pornsites are allowed to do this. I bet that if a mainstream site was doing this they would get sued for fraud but i guess porn webmasters think everyone who joins a porn website is so fucking stupid that they won´t notice that they´re getting scammed.

One thing that annoys me is sites that refer to downloadable movies as "DVD´s". A DVD is a round shiny disc that´s used to store data on, and it´s not like you download a copy of a DVD. The movies on pornsites are usually of much higher resolution than the same movie released on DVD, so why they would want to indicate that the movies on the sites are of lower quality than they actually are is something i just don´t understand. Extra material that are on the DVD release of the movie is often missing on the sites, so it´s not even the same content as on the DVD that´s available for download.

 

[BlkHawk]

Not identifying the models, or not useing the models main performing name. Particularly when a model in an ad isn't named and is linked to your site but not her scenes. She got me to your site now tell me who she is and offer me her scenes already.

 

[FreeOnes_Anders]

No zip file downloads (which is a rarity these days)- I really enjoy right click saving 50 pics in a set.

There is actually a solution for this, there are several plugins for the major browsers that will allow you to download all the images on a page, even though you only see the thumbnails for them.

 

[sean miguel]

There is actually a solution for this, there are several plugins for the major browsers that will allow you to download all the images on a page, even though you only see the thumbnails for them.

Thanks. I actually very recently stumbled across a post on the freeones forums (thanks DOA) for the download helper plugin for firefox. I wish I had known about it before. It's done wonders for my carpal tunnel.

 

[sean miguel]

Ok this has to rank right up there. There's a major porn site (which shall go nameless) that has removed their advanced search function since the last time I was a member. They've easily got over a thousand models and years of content yet you can't do a search for "asian" unless you feel like going A thru Z and picking out girls who look it. Nevermind looking for petite blonde toying videos. I like surfing porn but not THAT much.

FTS.

 

[wdfadude]

I can go along with pretty much everything said here but I'd like to add some of my own....

....

Multiple video formats for downloading. Everything should be h.264. No WMV, DivX, Quicktime, and whatever else is out there.

YES!!! I hate this with a passion...No one in the real world uses Quicktime anymore, so why are some porn sites still requiring that of me?

 

[wdfadude]

Not identifying the models, or not useing the models main performing name. Particularly when a model in an ad isn't named and is linked to your site but not her scenes. She got me to your site now tell me who she is and offer me her scenes already.

Exactly. And this is also the logically conclusion of #4 of my original post above ("When a link doesn't take you directly to the pictorial, and you're forced to hunt around the website to find it..."). This would be the PERFECT opportunity to market and showcase the girl I've come to see, and NOT take me to the main page of your website and show me 8 other unrelated girls.

 

[D-rock]

I should add that when producers that run a performers website never tell the customers when the performer quits working for them and goes on to something else. They will just pretend or stay silent on the matter of their cooperation all the while milking those ignorant of their money. Often being in the know like a lot of people here it's not as big a deal as they have already found that out through other means, but I bet for more casual porn viewers that like a performer they get fooled all the while the person they are a fan of could despise the people that run the website. It's something I consider unethical, but often happens.

Often the recycled content that people hate will come about from this also, as the producers of the website know they have limited new material left.

 

[Xombie3000]

Those automatic video ads with sound which start playing when you open a page or visit the site or something. Yeah, don't do that.

 

[sean miguel]

Those automatic video ads with sound which start playing when you open a page or visit the site or something. Yeah, don't do that.

Yeah that's nearly got me in trouble when I had the volume turned up for pandora in another window.

 

[D-rock]

I don't think I've used anything but headphones for my computer for years now. Not only is there a much lessened risk of anybody overhearing things on it, but I found the sound quality of a decent set of headphones is almost always much better than speakers you can plug into it. The only pain in ass thing about it is when the phone rings.

 

[Mr Dean]

This probably applies to porn generally but - My bitch is the strange aversion to images of sexy, skimpy clothing in pictorials and videos. I don't think I'm alone in enjoying the 'tease factor'. Ass-cut tiny denim shorts and idiotically skimpy tops that only half cover the girls tits look so horny. Yet picture editors often seem hell-bent on preventing our enjoyment of them. Of course, explicitness is still the main game but I don't see why a set of 20 pictures of a total cock-stiffener like Angel Dark has to have 18 close-ups of her cunt and only 2 of her total body hotness.

At least the 'non-nude' sites cater for this.

 

[Battletoads]

Interviews that take up a significant portion of the video

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Ashley Madison popups. Fucking infuriating as shit.