Novel Way of Keeping The Witnesses of Jehovah Away

[BlueBalls]

Or you could just run out of your house covered in blood carrying a butchers knife and a shotgun, screaming at the top of your lungs .... it always works for me :dunno:.

 

[tittenman]

If only it worked that well, even demons wouldn't repel those folk!

 

[bigstew71]

If only it worked that well, even demons wouldn't repel those folk!

But demons are supposed to be "VERY NASTY!" :yesyes:

 

[Cutie]

If a Jehovah Witness or a Mormon was to knock on my door, this is what I would say.

Yeah I am home, I am always home since they fired me at the post office, hang on a moment, I need to get my gun.... Er I mean go get something. lol

 

[SpankeyMonkey]

"Forget" and leave your x-rated magazine in a porch chair next to your front door.

 

[Galactic]

:1orglaugh That's great!

 

[StanScratch]

Big, angry sounding dogs also work.

 

[ThatRedWing]

Splash some water on your face and answer the door. Say "quick, inside. They'll be arriving soon. You'll be safe in here. Won't they Fluffy. Yes they will."

 

[maildude]

That won't work if they have Christmas decorations up, though.

 

[Shindekudasai]

I remember being at a friend of mines when I was younger, when the "The Witnesses of Jehovah" decided to ring the door bell, not knowing of course, what kind of man my friend's dad was.
So he opened the door and just said, "Dear infidels, I am a muslim and if you don't get off my front porch right now, I will spread my religion by fire and sword." That kinda worked. After that he closed the door, smirking impishly, rubbing his hands with glee.

 

[hillhopper]

I just start telling them about my neighbor (who I swear makes a living on her back, if she's not charging she's just a slut) and how she needs religion so much more than I do!

 

[StanScratch]

I did have them visit once when I was at my parents' several years ago (I was visiting for the day from college). I happily took their literature and told them I would be quite happy for them to stop by the next day.
Of course, the next day, I back in college. That night, I got a call from my mom...

 

[lurkingdirk]

i quietly ask them if they'd like to speak to "the man." when they say yes, i take my penis out and do my ventriloquist act. it is not only compelling, it has converted many a witness to the lurking way...

 

[on]

doesn't garlic work?

 

[Red Spyder]

They visisted me once....and that day I just happened to have been home sick with a very contagious and nasty stomach flu, never saw them again

 

[pornophile]

Just be like:
"Hey how are you?"
Jehovah witness: "Hello, do you know Jesus Christ our savior, I mean REALLY know him?"
you: "Yea, hang on...we're having a birthday party right now, would you like to come in?"
Jehovah witness: "..........we'll come back another time."

Its against their religion to party or celebrate anything, even their own birthday!

 

[cl0ckw0rkman]

Just be like:
"Hey how are you?"
Jehovah witness: "Hello, do you know Jesus Christ our savior, I mean REALLY know him?"
you: "Yea, hang on...we're having a birthday party right now, would you like to come in?"
Jehovah witness: "..........we'll come back another time."

Its against their religion to party or celebrate anything, even their own birthday!

it is and that makes it funny. have done that twice before. i also talk about umbob the potato god and the year of soil and dirt that is going to pass.

 

[jinxypie]

My brother in law has threatened to go to the door wearing only gym socks, and invite them in for beer... (of course my sister would never let him do it, but it's still a great idea.)

My husband, on the other hand, has opened the door before and said "Are you guys Mormon?" If the answer is yes, then his response is "Sorry, I only talk to Jehovahs Witnesses." and shuts the door. If they say no, then it's "Sorry, I only talk to Mormons."

 

[Asianlov69]

they are out for the money ...

 

[Wizard Sleeves]

I'm a Jehovahs Witness, big whoop, want to fight about it?