Is it better to regret something you have done than something you havent?

[dirtbag magee]

Ok so here is the deal, I am totally in love with one of my best girlfriends. we have known eachother for years and have always been close. We work together as managers of a resturaunt. she has always had a boyfriend of some sort and we have always just been just friends.
Recently she has been having major problems with her boyfriend and actually been living in town with her parents rather than her BF,out of town. because she is in town we have been hanging out almost every day for two weeks. the more time i spend with her the more iI relize I actually have strong, strong, feelings for her.
I dont want to be that guy who moves in on a broken relationship but it is begining to drive me crazy. I enjoy going to work just cause i get to see her and i go out every night juust cause she will be there. I dont know wether to tell her how I feel and possibly make a great friend, possibly one of my best, feel very uncomftorble and maybe ruin the friendship or, tell her how I feel and maybe hear what I want. What I do know is that I havent felt this way in a long long time and that It drives me crazy to be around her and not know what to do.
please I need advice

 

[Ax3C]

Having been in similar situations many times in my life, I've learned - the hard way - that you have to ask yourself these questions:

1). Is it truly worth confessing your feelings for this young woman and possibly messing up a friendship of many years? I realize it may be hard to think about that aspect of it, but it is the most important thing you need to consider.

2). Given that she seems to be having problems with her current boyfriend, I would sooner choose to be there for her as a friend -a good, close, loyal friend - than try to make some half-ass, sleazy move on her while she's in a state of emotional turmoil. I've listened to so many of my ex-girlfriends and lady friends complain about some cheesy dirt-bag always doggin' 'em while they're in a relationship. Do you really wanna come off that way in her eyes? Wouldn't you rather be viewed as a man she can trust, rely on, and not feel pressured to be her fuck-buddy or her "man"? Nurture the relationship you already share with her; make it grow even stronger. Show her, in subtle ways, that you are honorable and trustworthy ... that you wouldn't dare dream of breaking her heart. You do that - and you honor that commitment to her - I guarantee you that she'll eventually start to look at you differently.

3). Be a friend. Be there for her. If you truly, truly care for this woman, then your heart can wait, my friend. Her mind and emotions are already fucked up enough if she's having arguments with her current boyfriend. Why add to it? Support her, encourage her, talk to her ... be a FRIEND to her. If you stay the course and be yourself around her, then someday, when you least expect it, she may come to you and say the same things to you that you are dying to say to her.

4). Depending upon how close the two of you really are, she probably already realizes how deeply your emotions run for her. I've found that a great majority of the women in my life have been so much more perceptive about men's emotions and how they feel for their female friends than what we give them credit for. Have you stopped to consider that maybe:

A.) She doesn't see you in this way ... and doesn't want to hurt you?
B.) She may feel the same way, but is just as unsure as you about ho to approach you?
C.) She still cares for the guy that she's with, even though they are arguing, and would resent any intrusion from another man; especially you?

I'm not trying to bring you down or convince you NOT to approach her with your feelings, but you need to pick your time and choose your words carefully. Don't rush in there trying to be her dull knight in tarnished armor ... and completely fuck up a wonderful friendship; especially if she means so much to you.

Which would you rather have ... a friend for life or a quick fuck?

Search your soul and make the right choice. :hatsoff:

 

[Iamforever]

nice post marine. :thumbsup:

dirtbag magee, there is really nothing else that can be said.


as for me, i used to regret quitting baseball, but it all worked out in the end.

 

[dirtbag magee]

thanks for the words Asianxxxchick they will give me alot to think about but i think you may be right.

 

[squallumz]

all these things must be figured out on your own. no one can tell you what to do but yourself. follow your heart and your instincts.

 

[calpoon]

depends on which one is more fucked up.

 

[sputnikgirl]

I'd say don't go for it. Keep the relationship as friends. If you put someone on a really high pedastal, you're bound to be disappointed once you're in a relationship with them. People hardly live up to the picture you paint of them in your mind. Do you want to maintain the image you have of her now, or are you willing to take the risk that You Might not like what's on the side she doesn't show you?

 

[mula0207]

go for it...who knows what You Might regret in life...one thing is sure, u wont regret asking her if she likes u too...you can always still be friends...might be harder, but very possible to remain friends...

 

[calpoon]

good points. but i'd say that you have to be honest, because it's just not worth it. I mean i'm not saying fuck her feelings, but how is that anyway to go through life...constantly sacrificing what you want for what you think other people want and trying to pretend to be something your not? even if it all goes to shit, you'll still feel better knowing that you at least put yourself out there and layed it all on the line to make or break. that takes guts.. Or maybe that's just me, and i'm full of shit and used to dissapointment.

 

[Calm]

life's too short, as Nike says, just go for it.