I may be the only guy one earth to be rejected by every girl

[Psychology]

Literally every girl I've ever asked in my entire life has rejected me. The few that have gone out with me have been due to it being a blind date. After the date, they say I'm nice enough but that it won't go anywhere. Afterwards, I never hear from them again.

I'm 25 and I'm a nice guy. I used to be the doormat nice guy, but as of late, I've been nice and respectful, but confident. Still nothing. I don't really know what the point of this thread is, I guess I just want to know why things like this happen to certain people. I've never had any friends, and I'd love to have someone to hold onto to watch the sunset. Alas, it will never happen. Also, I now don't believe in the "be patient, you will find some" line, either.

Yeah, this is a pity post, but seeing as most of you here seem to have wives/girlfriends (and lots of sex obviously), can anyone give insight on what the hck happened to me throughout my life. This evening i took a girl to Niagara Falls (it was a blind date), engaged in stimulating conversation, and I even got us to blow bubbles around (she thought that was cute). She even said that I'd make a wonderful father 9she's a single mother). Still at the end of the night when I dropped her off, she politely said in her own words that she liked me and I was a great guy, but a relationship wouldn't develop. I asked for her number but she wouldn't give it to me. This is the last date I'll ever go on because I can no longer take rejection. You're right, I guess that does make me weak, seeing as rejection is a part of life.

End of rant/pity post.

 

[Sherlock_Holmes]

I heard this same rant from a friend for years, but guess what? He's happily married now.

 

[nothingandless]

i have the same problem. not every girl rejects me, but i have a hard time with the girls im attracetd to. i don't know if its because im not aggresive enough, or get so nervous, or what, but i haven't had much luck in life. as a matter of fact, the girl i recently was trying for has rejected me 3 times. nicely, but rejected nonetheless. who knows what the future holds, though.
don't let it get you down, though. somebody out there will jump at the chance to be with you, there're a lot of women in this wide world. maybe you're just going for the wrong ones.

good luck!

 

[JustAGuy85]

Alright man, here's the thing.

Are you ugly/fat? No shame if you are, just that most decent looking girls aren't looking for that. Sad but true.

Another question. Are you looking for a good looking girl? If so, refer back to question 1.

Thing is man, you WILL find a girl if you lower your standards. Because in all reality, right now you're looking for the girl that will lower HER standards to hook up with you.

Have you tried dating sites? There are free ones out there, eg. plentyoffish.com. Because there are tons of desperate women seeking companions.

But most of all, don't be so down on yourself. You Might be the fattest guy in the world, or the ugliest guy in the world. But You Might have the right soul and heart a woman is looking for.

And you're right, don't listen to the "be patient you'll find someone speech". Do it NOW!

Go balls out....I mean...what do you have to lose?

 

[Psychology]

Alright man, here's the thing.

Are you ugly/fat? No shame if you are, just that most decent looking girls aren't looking for that. Sad but true.

Another question. Are you looking for a good looking girl? If so, refer back to question 1.

Thing is man, you WILL find a girl if you lower your standards. Because in all reality, right now you're looking for the girl that will lower HER standards to hook up with you.

Have you tried dating sites? There are free ones out there, eg. plentyoffish.com. Because there are tons of desperate women seeking companions.

But most of all, don't be so down on yourself. You Might be the fattest guy in the world, or the ugliest guy in the world. But You Might have the right soul and heart a woman is looking for.

And you're right, don't listen to the "be patient you'll find someone speech". Do it NOW!

Go balls out....I mean...what do you have to lose?

Funny you say that. I've used dating sites for aboyt 3 years now (plentyoffish being one of them). None of the girls I write to ever respond. I'm an average looking guy. 5'10.

I have no standards, trust me. I prefer thick/bigger women, but it doesn't really matter at all. I can't get anyone.

 

[nothingandless]

Funny you say that. I've used dating sites for aboyt 3 years now (plentyoffish being one of them). None of the girls I write to ever respond. I'm an average looking guy. 5'10.

I have no standards, trust me. I prefer thick/bigger women, but it doesn't really matter at all. I can't get anyone.

i used yahoo once, bad experience.
it sounds like you could work on your level of confidence. try keeping your chin up and smiling. and not bashing bigger women, because many are very attractive, but they're usually the ones you'll have better luck with, at least thats been my experience. but nobody likes being around a glum, blue person, especially not a stranger that you're trying to hook up with.

 

[hothannah]

It's your attitude more than anything else. You obviously have a real downer on yourself and being alone for so long has obviously affected you. This negativity will really turn girls off.

Forget the past and trouble you've had, holding on to it will make you bitter and it will ruin your future

Seriously, things you have to stop doing when in the presence of a potential mate, so to speak:

Don't appear desperate
Don't be negative
Don't tell her sob stories (of any kind, either about yourself and your situation or past bad experiences) - You may think going down the pity / sympathy will win you points, but it won't.
Don't mention you have trouble with women. This will only create doubts in her mind as to why.

It's ok to be nervous, lots of girls find it cute. Just get rid of than self pitying attitude. I swear it is your worst enemy.

On a date, a girl is looking for some one who she obviously is attracted to, but you can win her over in other ways. She has to feel comfortable and safe with you and maybe most important of all - MAKE HER LAUGH.

By the end of the date, she must have no negative feelings or bad memories about you. People want to be with people who make them happy. If you create nothing but good memories for her, more than half the battle is won, even if she isn't initially attracted to you.

So when she thinks about you or you phone her and you come into her mind, she has happy thoughts.

 

[JustAGuy85]

Funny you say that. I've used dating sites for aboyt 3 years now (plentyoffish being one of them). None of the girls I write to ever respond. I'm an average looking guy. 5'10.

I have no standards, trust me. I prefer thick/bigger women, but it doesn't really matter at all. I can't get anyone.

Some people just post on there and don't go back for 2 years.

I don't give a shit how "unlucky" you think you are, I've seen some mis-matched couples that will have your head spinning.

Like this one girl. She's about 18 with a smooooking hot body, like I thought she was a pro by the way she dressed and looked. But then I found out she was going out with some guy who was 23, had tits, a beer belly, and just ugly. And she seemed very content with him.

Just pull a George Costanza. Do everything opposite of what you would normally do, and just do it.

Or...just keep doing what you're doing...and see how that works out.

 

[Guillermo]

Just pull a George Costanza. Do everything opposite of what you would normally do, and just do it.

Exactly! If you fail this badly, then just switch it up entirely, and then tweak it to a happy medium from there.

OP: you haven't told us enough. Though you absolutely don't have to be a catch to get girls, as evidenced here:

But then I found out she was going out with some guy who was 23, had tits, a beer belly, and just ugly. And she seemed very content with him.

... you do have to have a personality to make up for the material things or talents you don't have.

1. How much do you make a year? What kind of job is it? Are you happy with your job?

2. What kind of education did you receive? Did you go to college? (Great place to find a wife.) Did you leave high school early? (Sometimes people don't develop the social skills there they need to succeed later in life.)

Start joining clubs or doing things you're interested in. Start developing your life philosophy, your politics, your musical taste, artistic abilities, travel, or anything like that. Start living! As soon as you can make your life worth living without women, the sooner you'll appear attractive to them.

Start being caring about people. Make sure you're a pleasant person to be around, for your sake and theirs. Stay rationally self-interested but stay away from being self-absorbed.

Be around women. If you're not at the gym working out, or taking classes with them, or working with them, you'll get nowhere. It's a numbers game, sometimes, and if you talk to no one, and you don't have the most approachable face because you're no movie star or you are a movie star but you're too bloody sad to smile, then you will get nowhere. Start talking to every single person, male or female, you come across from now on. It'll be impossible, just impossible, unless you're disabled with extreme autism or mental retardation, not to become a master at socialising.

And for God's sakes, never be negative. There are plenty of men and women who were attractive but were so used to be negative (because of how they were raised or freak chance in their childhoods) their whole lives that they missed out on everything great until it was too late. They never "got it".

 

[1n$4n3]

This is the last date I'll ever go on because I can no longer take rejection.

This doesn't sound so good. Rejection from a woman should not be something painful(unless you love the girl of course, then it can be tough). Even my friends that I would consider pros at picking up girls gets rejected sometimes.

From what I can read out from your post I interpret it like you don't create too many options for yourself. It seems like youre taking one girl at the time and sticking to her with no other girl backing her up. I think you instead should try to create a situation where you have more girls around you and see them simultaneously. With this I mean 3-5 girls that you would be happy to be in a relationship with that you will have your main focus on. These girls will also have friends which will yield you even more options. The 3-5 in the main group will constantly change due to that you will get rejected by some, but some, (or at least one) might eventually dig you.

Since you're a nice guy and now with that more confident approach to it I would almost guarantee you will succeed sooner or later. My advice to you is to try try and continue to try. With many tries you will maximize the probability for succsess, and because you evaluate you learn so that with the next girl you will do some less errors. This process takes time(it can take years to be good) but will eventually end up with you being smooth with the ladies. I would say you almost have to apply the trial and error approach if you're not a natural born “pussy-magnet”. If you dont try because of fear of rejection you will be stuck in a behaviour that clearly NOT maximizes your long run probability of success, which is not recommended.

Do you visit pubs/clubs a lot? Do you hang out at places with loads of women? If not you could start doing that. Do you have some interesting girls at your work? I think we would need a little more information on your everyday life with the ladies to help you out better.

I would also recommend that you work out a lot cause it gives you so many advantages. If you have a body that your proud of you will automatically be more confident and the ladies will not directly be less attracted by you.

Sure I'm younger than you and might not be the best advisor, but I think the advise in this thread has been great so far.

 

[calpoon]

you should be a jerk. no, no, I'm not saying that because women like jerks. I'm saying that because you shouldn't listen to all these people to tell you to lower your standards or act like you are someone else to impress.

and i'm not going to tell that people are just going to like you for who you are. keep doing what you are doing, but get in people's face about it. If someone lies to you or acts like a snob, make a big scene and tell them what a phony peice of shit they are.

you still won't get any dates, but you will feel a lot better. there's a great sense of satisfaction that comes with taking people down a notch, if they deserve it.

 

[yaheem]

No worries my friend, take it easy for a while, when you start feeling lonely, then you gonna go through some extremes to get your self a girly. Keep your chin up, stay positive, have fun. If that dont work out FreeOnes is always here.:wave:

 

[senob44]

I don't know. The key for me has always been confidence. It's not something you can "try". But it's something you can work on. You either have it or you don't.

I mean, I think I look like shit warmed over, but I always got more women than I could handle.

 

[JustAGuy85]

you should be a jerk. no, no, I'm not saying that because women like jerks. I'm saying that because you shouldn't listen to all these people to tell you to lower your standards or act like you are someone else to impress.

and i'm not going to tell that people are just going to like you for who you are. keep doing what you are doing, but get in people's face about it. If someone lies to you or acts like a snob, make a big scene and tell them what a phony peice of shit they are.

you still won't get any dates, but you will feel a lot better. there's a great sense of satisfaction that comes with taking people down a notch, if they deserve it.

Your nickname must be "pussy killer"...cus it sounds like you know how to get any girl you want...

 

[bodie54]

can anyone give insight on what the heck happened to me throughout my life

That's a mighty tall order based on having virtually nothing to work with.

More importantly, what do you think the answer to that question is?

 

[hhwan]

Two words: mystery method.

 

[1n$4n3]

More importantly, what do you think the answer to that question is?

Very good approach :thumbsup:

One drawback of this is that it could be very hard to analyse what you do wrong sometimes. You think that you're smooth and everything is going fine, and still the girl wont approve in the end . The reasons behind this can be many and the causality can be very hard, maybe impossible to identify :/

 

[drew84]

Before I met my girlfriend I used to be like that. Not only I was rejected alot by girls but also it started to effect me on other things too like everytime I had a job interview I screwed up on that and as a result it took me 4 years to get a job getting rejection letter after rejection letter. It wasn't until I had a job late last year that my confidence went up and it made a difference when I talked to women and ended up having more then one date with them.

I'm not saying that having a job gives you a greater chance on not being rejected by women what I'm saying is that don't let this get you down cause it will effect other things in your life.

 

[bodie54]

Very good approach :thumbsup:

One drawback of this is that it could be very hard to analyse what you do wrong sometimes.

Oh absolutely. But so far I only see this guy fatalistically recapping events rather than exhibiting any real self-analysis :dunno: .....hence my question.

 

[DOA82]

Can we open a "Sob Story" thread? It can sit between the Identify a babe thread and games? Or maybe even a "Advice for stupid problems" section, cause given how many people seem to think that the members here amount to the same as phd holding specialists, we might as well embrace it.