I Absolutely Hate It When Mosquitoes Bite Me Except When...

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

... they bite me on the wiener. The other day I was out in the yard working in a pair of baggy shorts. The arousing musk and the beautiful sight of those dangling figs and plump sausage was too much for the whore mosquito to endure. I got bit and burned my bacon good this time. Got all red and itchy. The even better part is when I jump in the shower I take the handheld showerhead and shoot scalding hot water all over my business. It feels so good as the burning combines with the itching. If I leave it there long enough my eyes will roll to the back of my head and semen will ooze down my leg.

 

[STDiva]

Sic.

 

[gunslingingbird]

Damn! And I thought BlueBalls had issues... :eek:

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

If you have to try to be as strange as Baconsalt, then it just isn't going to work.

 

[PirateKing]

What became of the mosquito?

 

[Toothsaw]

You're a weird fucker aren't you.

 

[lurkingdirk]

Try the same thing with fire ants.

:drool2:

 

[Shifty]

Ask Dirk about the time he got Poison.Ivy on his anus.

That was a fun day. :sunny:

 

[lurkingdirk]

Ask Dirk about the time he got Poison.Ivy on his anus.

That was a fun day. :sunny:

Who knew you were so knowledgeable about how much you could itch me without breaking the skin?

Thanks, buddy. :thumbsup:

 

[No_Man]

What became of the mosquito?

It was probably elected to Congress. That's where all the other blood-thirsty cock suckers are.

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

Ask Dirk about the time he got Poison.Ivy on his anus.

That was a fun day. :sunny:

A set of Benoit Balls mad from poison-ivy would really get the scratching going.

I made Spaghetti last night. When the water came to a healthy boil a light bulb suddenly went off in my head. I dropped my pants, climbed on top of the stove, squatted down, and dunked my grapefruits in the bubbling water. It was Heaven.

 

[GodsEmbryo]

So a mosquito sucked your dick... not really something to brag about, is it?

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

So a mosquito sucked your dick... not really something to brag about, is it?

I didn't let the mosquito completely have its way with me. It bit me on the right side of my wiener and I swatted it away. If it wants my hot, creamy load it will have to wait until the next time I get the itch for more itching.

 

[lurkingdirk]

A set of Benoit Balls mad from poison-ivy would really get the scratching going.

I made Spaghetti last night. When the water came to a healthy boil a light bulb suddenly went off in my head. I dropped my pants, climbed on top of the stove, squatted down, and dunked my grapefruits in the bubbling water. It was Heaven.

My hat off to you, sir. :hatsoff:

I know I'm a sick fuck, but you take weirdo to a whole new level.

 

[gunslingingbird]

So a mosquito sucked your dick... not really something to brag about, is it?

Sure beats bragging about sucking a mosquito's dick.

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

Sure beats bragging about sucking a mosquito's dick.

Not sure about that but I'm sure I could eat some mosquito pussy and get the bitch off in 2 seconds. My massive tongue will be crushing against her little mosquito clitoris.

 

[RealMenSwallow]

The people on this board never cease to amaze me... :bowdown:

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

It's now 2011 and high time for some man on mosquito action. My cock looks huge in their mouth and the hobbling Walk Of Shame to the bathroom to rinse my custard out of its insect vagina will be the thing that legends are made of.

 

[LukeEl]

Well reading this useless thread is 5 seconds of my life I am not going to get back.

 

[grower_boy]

This thread has "Gloyster" written all over it. Are you a brother of his or something?

It's now 2011 and high time for some man on mosquito action. My cock looks huge in their mouth and the hobbling Walk Of Shame to the bathroom to rinse my custard out of its insect vagina will be the thing that legends are made of.

:rofl2: