Hey Fellas, Rate Your Last Shit On A Scale Of 1-5 Stars?

Little Red Wagon Repairman

Little Red Wagon Repairman

MFOMBSoPGA
No poll here because this requires an explanation. Rate 1 star for a tiny drippy trickle of a shit and 5 stars for a monster shitzilla.

I woke up this morning with the Whiskey Shits. It's basically frothy diarrhea. It was about 7AM and I was still blurry-eyed and wobbly-legged. I barely got my pants down to my knees before my anus turned inside out and I rocketed hot brown lava all over the inside of the bowl before my ass cheeks even touched the seat. While in a seating position more tremors and violent blasts occurred. My toes curled and I was enjoying my warm, secure spot. I was King. I did have the awareness to bring my iPhone so I could enjoy reading this board and watching a few YouTube videos. After 27 minutes I felt my feet starting to fall asleep so I reached for the roll of Charmin Ultra-Strong. I wiped 9 times before I was clean and flushed three times to whoosh all the nuggs away. I had the Asian wife go in there with Pine-Sol and a brush to clean the rest about 1PM this afternoon.

Normally diarrhea leaves me unsatisfied thinking I will have to make a return trip in 30 minutes. This morning I throughly and patiently evacuated. Taking into consideration the curling of my toes I will rate this shit 3.75 stars.
 
tvstrip

tvstrip

I had 5* one that due to the great acoustics of my toilet bowl, mimicked the sound of a cannonball being fired and hitting a galleon broadside. It wasn't diarrhea, but a nice solid chunk that was propelled with a primed, juicy packing of gas. The kind of shit that you'd be embarrassed taking in public, but proud of when taken in the privacy of your home.
 
L3ggy

L3ggy

Special Operations FOX-HOUND
tenor.gif
 
xfire

xfire

New Twitter/X @cxffreeman
:rofl:

I avoid beans because they give me copious amounts of gas, but as long as I don't eat onion with them, it's only gas and not projectile ass. My wife bitches (my wife bitches about everything) that we don't eat beans enough so for the last three days of October I made sure we had beans at every meal. I avoided the onion because foods high in fermentable oligo-, di-, mono-saccharides and polyols (fodmaps) aggravate my IBS-D, but damn did I have some colon-cleansing, earth shaking farts.
 
Little Red Wagon Repairman

Little Red Wagon Repairman

MFOMBSoPGA
I just ate some Indian Food that I got out of a Chevron Gas Station and the curry is spraying out in a hurry. The food did taste great and looks the same in the bowl as it did on the plate.

No toe curling yet so this one might be the normal rating of 3 for basic diarrhea.

I would also like to invite all the ladies on the board to participate in this thread. Hearing about your most recent shit is probably more interesting and less boring than watching your latest porno.
 
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