Has anyone been in a polyamorous relationship?

[ThatRedWing]

About a week ago my girlfriend and a mutual ex-girlfriend approached me with the idea. We have all remained close for several years and have had several threesomes. So far everything seems to be great, but it has been less than a week since we made it official. We all get alone time with the other two and obviously there are times when all three of us are involved. I'm a forty year old man and have seen some **** in my day but this is very new to me. I do love both of these women very much and would like for this to work. I would not have brought up the idea, but since they came to me with it I'm giving it a go.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

What are your thoughts and suggestions?

 

[Alyssa Rose]

I personally know I couldn't be in that type of relationship. I have never loved another man the way I love my husband and I don't really see myself wanting to share him.. at all. I'm a jealous type person I guess but between work and school and well, life in general its hard enough to have time for the two of us, but adding a third person in the mix? oh hell no. I don't think my husband would be too into this either.. In my eyes a relationship (whether it be marriage, or not, straight or not) is supposed to be between two people who love each other.. I guess if you really do love both women then do what you feel is going to be best for you, but let me ask you something, had your girlfriend come to you with a male friend instead of a female friend would you have been so willing to have a polyamory relationship? Or is it just the "I get to have 2 girlfriends how cool am I?" part of it that appeals to you?

 

[24788]

Jeez, took me forever to figure that **** out. Thought it was a relationship of having sex with your wife and letting everyone you know that you know you love her.

 

[Boothbabe]

If you think it can work and each of you really wants it then go for it. You only get to live once and if this makes the three of you happy I don't see any problem with it. It's your life and you have to live it the way you want to.

 

[Baill Inneraora]

Move to Utah

 

[Rey C.]

When you say your girlfriend and a mutual ex-girlfriend, do you mean that the two of them had been romantically involved with each other in the past too? So this relationship is more than about just sex, yes?

It sounds interesting, since everybody gets two-some time, as well as the three-some thing. But since it was their idea to begin with, at least no one can blame you if it blows up.

Edit: Oh, to answer your question, no, I haven't been involved in anything like this. I've had a couple of three-somes with two girls. But I wasn't in a relationship with any of them.

 

[ChefChiTown]

This just sounds like bad news to me. But, whatever floats your polyamorous boat.

 

[Hot Mega]

I was nearly in a relationship like that once. Aside from the temporary ego boost...I believed it was pointless.

Why not just have NSA sex with both of them instead of creating a relationship where 3 minds have to agree on **** instead of the normally, already difficult 2 mind concurrence??

 

[Baill Inneraora]

Good luck. You will never have a chance to see movie you want to see and you will never touch the remote again.

 

[ThatRedWing]

When you say your girlfriend and a mutual ex-girlfriend, do you mean that the two of them had been romantically involved with each other in the past too? So this relationship is more than about just sex, yes?

I had a relationship with with her and after we broke up, the two girls had a relationship. Both girls are bi. The three of us have always been there for the other two. We have all been through some tough times the last few years but our friendships have remained strong.

 

[Rey C.]

I had a relationship with with her and after we broke up, the two girls had a relationship. Both girls are bi. The three of us have always been there for the other two. We have all been through some tough times the last few years but our friendships have remained strong.

So it's more than just about the sex - it's a real relationship. Cool. Sounds really interesting. I hope it works out for you.

 

[ChefChiTown]

I had a relationship with with her and after we broke up, the two girls had a relationship. Both girls are bi. The three of us have always been there for the other two. We have all been through some tough times the last few years but our friendships have remained strong.

Key word: FRIENDSHIPS

Friendships aren't relationships, in the sense of "being together". Are you sure you two, er, three, aren't just friends with open benefits with one another?

 

[CunningStunts]

It's the equivalent of eating at a buffet... sounds like a great idea and you get more variety, but in the end you end up with a stomach ache. Trust me, been there, done that, got the tee shirt.

 

[Hot Mega]

Key word: FRIENDSHIPS

Friendships aren't relationships, in the sense of "being together". Are you sure you two, er, three, aren't just friends with open benefits with one another?

Not to hair split but a friendship is a type of relationship. What you're trying to draw a distinction between is a friendship and a love interest.

 

[D-rock]

IMO, It sounds like a situation that's a powder keg waiting to blow up someday.

 

[Alyssa Rose]

Had your girlfriend come to you with a male friend instead of a female friend would you have been so willing to have a polyamory relationship?

I still really wanna know.. If this was another guy and not a female, would you still want this type of relationship?

 

[ChefChiTown]

Not to hair split but a friendship is a type of relationship. What you're trying to draw a distinction between is a friendship and a love interest.

That's why I said "in the sense of 'being together'." BIIIIIG difference between that and a friendship.

 

[Member2019]

It's more complex ...

Ironically, the answer is simple ... it's just the complexity over two people.

You still have to be honest and open, and accept the values of your partner. But instead of just the exchange of values of two people in two directions, you now have the exchange of values of three people in six, total directions. Everyone must come to terms with that six directions of exchange for it to work.

Which is why honesty and openness is an absolute. Best of luck to you. We should all strive to be mature enough to handle such a relationship.

In my case, I like the comfort and simplicity of monogamy. But I'm the first to defend those of honesty, open polygamy.

 

[feller469]

Why can I see this as a reality show soon?

 

[Hypergalaxy]

I havent been in one but I say go for it if its going to make you happy