Thanks to a brief power outage, I no longer have a d!ck, OR a Fleshlight...:O
Well, that's it for me... I never thought it would come to this, but it did. Ok, here's what happened...
I recently got some new gel for my Fleshlight, and it's supposed to make your d!ck feel warm/hot after a while, with a kind of numbing sensation, similar to how your mouth feels after chewing gum with cinnimon, mint, etc. So, after doing a bunch of shopping yesterday, I was tired, and wanted to try out the new lube with my beloved Fleshlight. That's when the lights went out.
Big deal I thought, so I got into some boxers, stumbled around a bit, jumped into bed, and broke out the Fleshlight. Groping in the dark, I grabbed the new lube and applied it to the Fleshlight. I noticed it had a strong smell to it, and looking back, I should have noticed the oddly large bottle, but being dark and distracted, I gave it no thought.
So, I "start in" with the Fleshlight, and immediately notice that this gel is indeed hot. As a matter of fact, it's
almost painful, but I kept the pump action going, and soon the numbness came in, and I was able to really kick it in to high gear. After what seemed about 3 mins, my d!ck was so numb, I really couldn't feel anything, but kept going nonetheless.
Still in the dark, I began to realize something was wrong... the action was too easy, like I had stretched the Fleshlight... just then, the lights came back on, and I realized my crotch was covered in blood. Upon examining the Fleshlight in my state of shock and suprise, I noticed with horror that it was "melting" right before my very eyes! I look down at my d!ck, and sure enough, it's simply
GONE!!!
In a state of horror, shock, panic and an approaching burning feeling, I look around helplessly in unbelieving terror. There, on the night-stand, was the gel I had poured into the Fleshlight and greased my member with...
to my horror, the label read
"Liquid Plumber Gel -- Extra Strength".
I'm ruined, absolutely and utterly
ruined.
I'm gonna sue the city for the brief power outage, hopefully in a discrete manner.
I need consolation... and bring some ice cubes... mine have all melted.
Sincerely,
D!ckless