Do You Hate Anyone? Who Is Worth The Time, Effort, And Commitment To Hate?

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

To hate someone is not to dislike them. When you hate someone it's like a dysfunctional marriage where you go to sleep, wake up, and live your life obsessively thinking negative or morbid thoughts about someone else. Back in Elementary School the nun who was also Principal managed to say one wise thing; "You can dislike a person but you should only hate Satan." Satan is many things to many people. Maybe your own personal Satan is worth hating.

I've done enough self-examination periodically to say that I am 100% free of hatred. No one or nothing is worth hating. Pretty easy to ignore and/or avoid what and who I don't care for.

 

[tvstrip]

I can't say that I've achieved that monk-like zen state of no hate. I don't think I can, and I'm a little jealous that you have. (does jealousy = hate? I've already failed here.)
When I was a victim of crime last year, I literally fantasized about what I'd do to the culprit. It was a very dark place. The first several days were a mix of fear, hate and anger 24/7. Literally every waking second. It got a little better after several weeks to the point were I could at least do my job, but just barely. Took almost a year to be able to control the rage, although even today I still find myself thinking occasionally about the issue.

I had a slightly lesser reaction to officer "he was just having a bad day", but that still triggered me to the point were my thoughts were obsessed about the situation for a couple days.

I also had a problem with trolls and just conflict in general on message boards. Constantly refreshing pages just to wait for a reply and to continue the fighting. And to what end?
It was then that I realized that this was one form of hate I could control: Don't engage on topics / users you know are going to piss you off. I saw how much time I was wasting on those fights, when the whole point of going to those sites was to relax and talk about stuff I liked. Oddly enough, it was these boards at FO where I reconnected with the idea of just engaging in positive talk. It's my safe space.

When I do really get mad, I try to listen to that Will Smith song to put it in perspective:

“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

I'm sorry for what happened to you. I hear you about a desire for revenge. Revenge can bring closure. Since revenge wasn't an option I'm glad the feelings have been dissipating over time. I don't believe in Karma but I do in Cause & Effect and bad things tend to happen to bad people for good reasons. Maybe your guy will be sorted out over time.

You did shed some of that bad energy by avoiding and not allowing people on the internet to bother you anymore. That's definite progress and a sign of strength.

Maybe find out what hate is left inside you. Once you shed it you will recover the energy you were spending.

If somebody is truly worth hating then hate him. If somebody punched my wife I would hate him.

 

[tvstrip]

Since revenge wasn't an option I'm glad the feelings have been dissipating over time. I don't believe in Karma but I do in Cause & Effect and bad things tend to happen to bad people for good reasons. Maybe your guy will be sorted out over time.

For the longest time, I wished I had the means to extract revenge. Maybe it not being an option was a blessing. I don't think I would have been able to hold myself back from doing something that had serious legal consequences, if given the chance at the time. I remember talking to a spiritual person who was the victim of a similar crime, and it was his faith in God having a plan to hold those accountable that was a part of helping him move on. That thought put me at ease as well. Just like those lyrics.

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

For the longest time, I wished I had the means to extract revenge. Maybe it not being an option was a blessing. I don't think I would have been able to hold myself back from doing something that had serious legal consequences, if given the chance at the time. I remember talking to a spiritual person who was the victim of a similar crime, and it was his faith in God having a plan to hold those accountable that was a part of helping him move on. That thought put me at ease as well. Just like those lyrics.

Seems like you're able to process things out. It's good you kept your cool and didn't risk losing your freedom or being sued. If this guy is a criminal he may run into the wrong citizen or cop. People do get held accountable eventually.

 

[assari]

"Sometimes I hate myself."

(assari)

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

"Sometimes I hate myself."

(assari)

Being from Nordic land you have a legal right to be a troll and even when you go full assari I still think you're a fine moral Christian gentleman.

 

[assari]

Being from Nordic land you have a legal right to be a troll and even when you go full assari I still think you're a fine moral Christian gentleman.

Thank you Dino.

I have been following your writings for a long time and I believe you are a person who wants the world to be a fair place to live.

 

[Theopolis Q. Hossenffer]

You are a better person than me Dino.

 

[gmase]

Dino is a much better person than many of us.

I can say I have hated one person. She left my life when my dad died a couple years back. My hatred was driven by her constant complaining about everything, abuse of my father, and senseless interventions with medical professionals - and anyone else in his life - who were trying to help. The week before he passed, she took him to a medical appointment, threatened the staff there with her cane, and prompted them to call me to tell me he was no longer welcome in their office. (They said they would visit him - a moot point it turned out.)

One other guy came close, but - in the end - it all turned out okay (as of today). My mid-20s daughter was on the wrong end of a vehicle v ped accident. It yielded an ambulance ride to the ER, a few days in the hospital, and 6 months back home rehabbing. He was uninsured (well, he went to get insurance after the accident in order to retrieve his vehicle) which means I got to fight my insurer. They paid full limits to her. Her revenge is having a nice little savings balance while her attacker is unemployed, fined, and barely paying de minimis restitution.

As for digital living - nothing is worthy of hating. Fuck - are all of us even real?

 

[Mr. Daystar]

I wish I could shed some of the senseless hatred I carry around. Some of it I need to hang on to.

 

[tvstrip]

They say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile.
Maybe it takes more energy to hate than to be happy.

 

[Mr. Daystar]

 

[xfire]

Hate is a strong emotion, one that comes with a deep negative connection. I'm indifferent to people I dislike, their existence neither pleases nor bothers me. I've hated a few people IRL, but have largely let that go. Online, meh, I'll argue with people I disagree with, but don't go out of my way for conflict with anyone and definitely don't want to set anyone online on fire.

 

[Mr. Daystar]

The few people I do genuinely have hatred for, are people I have interacted with in person, in the past. They are people I feel have gone above, and beyond, to either sab me in the back, or snitch....I understand how serious the emotion is, and I don't take it lightly, but I can't let shit go sometimes.

 

[xfire]

At the risk of sharing too much, my first serious relationship starting back in 1995 was with a woman that treated me like an ATM, cheated on me with several fellas I considered friends and lots of others I didn't know, and tried to ruin my life with false accusations and pretending to be a victim. I was with her for four years, ending that relationship was a nightmare for a lot of reasons, and I truly hated her for almost a decade. I'm indifferent to her now, but I do thank her for opening my eyes to how deceptive, manipulative, and shitty people you think you can trust can be.

 

[Mr. Daystar]

And that's the difference right there....I would still hold on to that hate. Good for you, that you can clear your mind of that, and move on, I couldn't...or more truthfully, wouldn't.

I have some issues, but honestly, I do a very good job of repressing my rage. I think it's mostly because I know if I cross certain lines, I forfeit my 2nd Amendment rights....and honestly, I'm far to handsome to go to prison!

 

[D-rock]

The few people I do genuinely have hatred for, are people I have interacted with in person, in the past. They are people I feel have gone above, and beyond, to either sab me in the back, or snitch....I understand how serious the emotion is, and I don't take it lightly, but I can't let shit go sometimes.

So was the thing they snitched on you for a false accusation or were you just pissed you got exposed?

 

[gmase]

They say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile.
Maybe it takes more energy to hate than to be happy.

It certainly sucked the life out of me. Great motivation for staying calm.

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

At the risk of sharing too much, my first serious relationship starting back in 1995 was with a woman that treated me like an ATM, cheated on me with several fellas I considered friends and lots of others I didn't know, and tried to ruin my life with false accusations and pretending to be a victim. I was with her for four years, ending that relationship was a nightmare for a lot of reasons, and I truly hated her for almost a decade. I'm indifferent to her now, but I do thank her for opening my eyes to how deceptive, manipulative, and shitty people you think you can trust can be.

Hopefully she ran into this fella eventually. Poetic Justice washes all the hate away leaving you feeling clean.