Children and Porn on the net

[DOA82]

I dont know how many of you on the board are parents, but I was reflecting earlier how porn has evolved over the last few years over the internet, its accessibility, its lack of limits etc, some of the very members here, myself included discovered internet pornography when we were in our teenage years and even that being only a decade ago for myself, its startling to see how it has changed.

My point though you wonder, if you as a parent became aware your child, more than likely a teenage son, was accessing internet porn, how would you handle it? I appreciate the power of curiousity and strong hormones, so my question is would you try and keep them away from it entirely, or a more crazy notiong, monitor what they can access.

What I mean to suggest is would you enforce it as a no no and spur on their curiousity (Kids and defying parents eh) or limit what you think is acceptable. Example, say you have pornographic magazines in your room (the dads stash) and as usual its found by said son, would you let him find the softcore ones or the hardcore material? Obviously you wouldnt want your kid seeing the likes of two girls one cup his first time out, so letting him into the world of kari sweets for starters if you understand my meaning?

So, which is it, ban, deter or monitor?

 

[METAL HEAD]

All i can say is if your a parent find out what your kids are picking out from firends at school anyway can if they are not the legal age yet. No way 4 and 5 graders should know about any of this stuff and if they do something is really wrong with the school in the frist place. I have a step brother and sister around that and they seem to know why more then they should. If thier legal age i would not worry about it but them seeing it before they are really concerns me. Wether its a sign of times or not this should not be happenig. I dont know where the rest of stand on this but thats how i feel.

 

[IsobelWren]

Well I started masturbating at 12 or 13 and therefore looking for porn to help out with that. I kinda think that at the age when a child starts masturbating and becoming sexually aware (different for all kids, so difficult to legislate) it should be okay for that kid to have safe access to nude pictures, or pictures of sex acts between consenting adults. All that crazy shit like bondage and bukakke and stuff should stay out for several more years.

I know it's not a popular opinion, but I feel like kids are going to be looking for this stuff anyway when they're young and horny. I view it like little girls looking at Barbies, "This is what I'm going to look like when I'm older and this is what I'm going to do." Perhaps it enforces bad bodytype beliefs because porn bodies are anything but real, but doesn't mainstream media as well?

I don't think it'll make kids into perverts if they seek out porn before they're legally adults. I DO think it'll make them perverts if the porn is forced on them before they're ready. I think if a kid is interested, they should be allowed managed access to satisfy their curiousity. If they can't look there, they may go elsewhere or try sex acts before they're ready. Then we get knocked up 13 year olds.

I feel like it's important to be able to look at things that you're interested, plan for your future and your body. Not be totally clueless and hopeless when you finally do get launched out into the sea of adult sex. Kids are curious, they need help. We're all wound up as a country (America) b/c we can't even TALK to our kids about sex. My mom gave me a book, no explanation. Just handed me the thing and walked away. Thank God for the internet or I'd be really fucked.

So, my opinion, monitor.

 

[No_Man]

Personally, I think kids (both boys and girls) are being sexualized way too early and exposure to porn is a part of that. So once I have kids, I'm probably going to do everything I can to prevent my son from finding porn on the internet for as long as possible. That said, if he does and he's not overly young, I'm probably not going to stop him. Just monitor the situation and impose reasonable deterrents to keep it from getting excessive (either in content or quantity).

 

[Facetious]

So, which is it, ban, deter or monitor?

You know, teenagers love to defy, so in that spirit, deter and monitor.


House Rules

Solo hottie models OK ! but if I find that you're spending any appreciable amount of time on hard core sites, you're gonna get your ass kicked into the next century.

 

[DaveL81]

I would do my best to keep it away from them. However, when the time does come and they catch a glimpse, I would not crack down on them and ban them from the computer. If they found it, I'd just tell them to take it easy and not to turn into porn addicts.

 

[surprize]

If the parents have talked openly with their kids about sex, then it is no problem.

 

[pancha]

You know, teenagers love to defy, so in that spirit, deter and monitor.


House Rules

Solo hottie models OK ! but if I find that you're spending any appreciable amount of time on hard core sites, you're gonna get your ass kicked into the next century.

i have to agree whole-heartedly with that!

 

[Legzman]

I wish I had internet porn when I was 12. I'm so jealous of teens these days. What with porn being so accessible and all!

 

[Skyraider22]

:thumbsup:Well I would teach my children about porn or masturbating.......I would let them know it is healthy and at the same time teach them respect for there body and other people bodies.I mean they are to young to look at it now but when they become of age I'm sure they will be courious.My goal would be to teach them.

 

[Yankeefan21325]

I wish I had internet porn when I was 12. I'm so jealous of teens these days. What with porn being so accessible and all!

I remember I was 13 when I first got the internet. Needless to say I pulled an allnighter my first night with the internet. lol

 

[rwill25]

I had sex at the age of 15, but didn't watch porn until 17. I wish I did have access to porn because maybe I would have been a little better.

The bottom line is that I was safe and smart, so maybe it was for the best.

 

[yoyoyoyo]

i watched porn with my friends after school cause my dad had a black box, i was in 5th grade..

 

[METAL HEAD]

well if you wanna be cool about it when thier legal age just give them a certain amount of time for when they can look at it while thier under your roof if you know what i mean.

 

[D-rock]

I think it would depend on what their age was when I found out and what they were doing. Somebody that's 12 and looking at hardcore porn is a lot different than somebody that's 17 and has an issue of Playboy under their beds, so there is a lot of variance in the situations that might happen. The former I would be concerned about, but something like the latter I probably wouldn't really care about to be honest. No matter what I would want to realize the difference between that and reality, because reality is often very different. I also wouldn't want them to start thinking of women in life as mere objects, some sorts of playthings, or second class human beings, because of porn.

 

[efeezy]

Hell, I was checking out softcore porn when I was 8 or 9 and probably found some harder core stuff by the time I was 12. An I turned out just fine....Wait no..I'm pretty fucked up. Scratch that thought all together...PRON IS BAD!

 

[Violator79]

I say monitor for the simple fact that kids are going to find porn no matter how hard adults try to keep it away. Parents can have every block you can possibly think of at home, but away from home, at friend's houses or other places, things probably aren't that way. In this day and age, it's a losing battle to keep kids away from porn. My parents had the big sex talk when I was a kid, and growing up I knew what it was and they told me straight to my face.

That's another problem with parents these days, they hide the truth and facts from their kids. If they want their kids to know about sex, tell them the truth and tell it to their face. Don't pussyfoot around. When I was 14 my mom let me get HBO, Showtime, etc. I don't know if she knew what all they show, but even if she did, I don't think she'd mind because she knew I wasn't going to go out and get some girl pregnant or become a rapist or child abuser. The same with porn: if the kids see it and they have questions, tell them the honest answer. I'm mostly liberal when it comes to things like that. I know that anyone can access the internet, that's not going away, and all we can do as adults is teach the kids the truth, because no matter what we do as adults, porn is just a click away.

 

[Torre82]

My sisters got interested in it around their early puberties and asked what it was, how to do it. I told them, showed them.. explained and perhaps overwhelmed. But better someone who knows than read about it from the cover of COSMOPOLITAN. I swear that magazine and the whole fairytale princess bullshit that's floating around can just go die. There isnt a prince charming, there's barely a waiting until marriage. There's facts... there's avoidance or complete acceptance that you want to sit on a dick waaay before you're legal to drive/smoke/drink...

I told them and they're virgins 'til this day. Bypassing the national average of loss at 13 years old by 3 years and 2 years, respectively. :ats myself on the back for a second or two::

Now as far as overcoming the completely batshit mentality of our family neuroses.. that's up to them.

 

[dazzamac70]

Personally, I think kids (both boys and girls) are being sexualized way too early and exposure to porn is a part of that. So once I have kids, I'm probably going to do everything I can to prevent my son from finding porn on the internet for as long as possible. That said, if he does and he's not overly young, I'm probably not going to stop him. Just monitor the situation and impose reasonable deterrents to keep it from getting excessive (either in content or quantity).

As parent of a teenager and I totally agree with No_Man. Communication paramount - you should never get into a situation where they feel embarrassed or ashamed because they'll eventually find someone else who they can relate with and this tends to be in gangs and other non-desirables.

 

[jamrak]

Hm, this reminds me of one zombie thread of my own, which was closed by moderator...

question: is it OK to give links to closed threads?

I think it was quite normal discussion without any shadow of illegal shit and my point of view was clearly expressed in it:

old thread

a few quotes:

I ain't got no children yet, and ain't gonna have in the nearest future.

with all my views on life I guess that upbringing process will be extremly fucked up

maybe such a person like me should not have any children at all, to prevent earth from the birth of new moral freaks

not to mention all possible situatuions that might happen with your *virtual* child (drinking, smoking, fighting etc) let's discuss one situation:
if you catch your child with porn - will you punish him? I guess it will be so fucking unfair
me myself like porn... why the hell I gotta prevent my child from watching it? One thought about it makes me feel like I am a perverted preacher who is secretly gay fucking. I hate sanctimony! but at the same time... well, I don't want to have children.

I do not like strict moral rules, and in my mind it is hard to grasp how will I behave myself in that situation one day. Interesting to hear other opinions and to see whether it will be logically earnestly.

The statement that "kids do not know what is good for them" does not sound enough exhaustively to me. I was a kid too, and since that time, I still do not understand what WRONG was in watching porn at that time. Ain't got no clench, to adopt that position.

To convince somebody (my imaginary child for example) of the truth of my words, I need to believe in this words myself. Right now I do not believe that watching porn is harmful enough to agitate against it. This thread will be useless completely at some hypocritical forum, at the religious organization web-site or smth like that. But contingent of that site allows me to assume for more natural and appropriate answers.

Do not you think that almost every teenager boy was watching porn? and nothing wrong happens with most of them. so, it means, that somehow they were able to divide reality from fantasy, and finally made right conclusions. so what is the achievement of parents who punished their children? that children had continued doing it more secretly, with feeling that they were doing something bad and wrong?

I think instead of useless and insincere punishing I'd better try to explain to my child what is safe sex, how not to get HIV, what is dangerous and unhealthy... and things like that. but I ain't gonna tell him that porn is bad, and he should never ever touch it, cuz I do not want to loose confidence and respect from him. And after saying such a bullshit I will definately loose it, cuz teenager is smart enough to feel lies. parents should not lie to their children.

PS: by watching porn I meant some typical straight boy-girl action, without any perversion like animal fucking, violence etc.